Julie Donner Andersen

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Author of the award winning book, "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense! Insights From One Woman's Journey As The Wife Of A Widower" and the illustrated humor book, "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge of Midlife" (a finalist in ForeWord Magazine's "Book of the Year 2004" awards). Both books are available for purchase at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com, and through the publisher!

 Julie Donner Andersen
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*********************NEWS!!!  NEWS!!!  NEWS!!!  NEWS!!! NEWS!!!*****************

My new website is now complete!  Look for me at www.juliedonnerandersen.com AND www.ParentallyInsane,com!!!! 

WOWs and GOWs - my new site is home to The Official WOW/GOW Message Board, created just for YOU!!  Register today and start communicating with other WOWs and GOWs...and ME!  Registering your e-mail address automatically registers you for The Official WOW/GOW Monthly Newsletter, too!  :)

Hope to "see" you there!!!

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I have recently started my own side business selling humorous GIFTS FOR WRITERS.  From T-shirts to mouse pads, I've got it all for you to show the world your profession in a funny way!  Come visit my website at www.CafePress.com/WritersPlace!

For PARENTALLY INSANE merchandise, please view my product line at Cafe Press!  (http://www.cafepress.com/ParentInsanity)

 

 

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                            WELCOME TO MY AUTHORS DEN WEBSITE!

 

Whether you are dating a widower or are married to one, your life has changed dramatically. Not surprisingly, the life of a WOW or GOW is unlike any other.

Being the wife of a widower is not easy, and since there was nothing on the bookstore shelves to help me when I was about to marry a widower, I decided to write a "survivor's guide" for present and future WOWs, based on my own real life experiences. My book, "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense!  Insights From One Woman's Journey As The Wife of a Widower" is a ForeWord Magazine "Book Of The Year 2003" finalist, and is available through all online book retailers and publisher iUniverse.com.

Then I entered midlife, had a baby, and decided to again write from experience - this time with humor. My illustrated humor book about midlife and parenting - entitled "PARENTALLY INSANE:  Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!" - was released in 2004 by Publish America and is available for purchase via the publishers' website, Amazon.com, and BarnesAndNoble.com (see links below).  This book was chosen as a finalist in the humour category for ForeWord Magazine's "Book Of The Year 2004" awards. 

And that's why I write - to inspire, support, connect, and...laugh!

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Accomplishments:

Finalist (genre: humour); ForeWord Magazine's "Book of the Year Awards 2004" for "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!"


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Finalist (genre: self help); ForeWord Magazine's "Book Of The Year Awards 2003" for "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense!".


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Winner of "Humor And Life, In Particular" website's "Best Short Humor" contest for Spring 2003. See winning submission at:
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/4111/dandersen.html


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Julie's freelance articles can be seen in over 200 websites internationally! Just do a search for "Julie Donner Andersen" in Google.com for more!


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Julie's articles can also be seen in such print publications as Family Digest magazine, Metro Seven magazine (Australia), and Golden Living Magazine.


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Books

Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge of Midlife by Julie Donner Andersen
Recently nominated as a finalist in ForeWord Magazine's distinguished "Book of the Year 2004 Awards"!! ************************************* "Wear your girdle over your straight jacket with pride". Laugh along with tired, middle aged mom Julie Donner Andersen as she highlights the perks and problems faced by women over 40 whose kids are forcing her into the Funny Farm....
  

Amazon.com  Amazon.co.uk  Barnes & Noble.com   

Past: Perfect! Present: Tense! Insights From One Woman's Journey As The Wife Of A Widower by Julie Donner Andersen
A survivor's guide for wives of widowers, written by the ultimate insider!**...
  

Amazon.com  Amazon.co.uk  Barnes & Noble.com   



Short Stories

Happy Birthday, Sweet 16!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Written as an open letter to my oldest daughter on her birthday....


Pass The Coffee And No One Gets Hurt
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Welcome to my morning. ...


Picture Perfect
 by Julie Donner Andersen
By Julie Donner Andersen, author of "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife." ...


Speaking With The Heart
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Sometimes, you just have to read between the lines. ...


Portrait Of A Triangle
 by Julie Donner Andersen
From the author of the new blockbuster "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense! Insights From One Woman''s Journey As The Wife of a Widower" (iUniverse, Inc.) ...


The Promise
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Excerpted from the upcoming novel, "I''ll Always Be With You: Memoirs of a Mother''s Love" by Julie Donner Andersen. ~Julie is also the author of the self-help guide, "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT...


A Dream That You Wish
 by Julie Donner Andersen
The big things in life are the little things. ...


Happy Birthday, My Son
 by Julie Donner Andersen
An open letter to my son, who turns 15 this April. ...


Aren't You Ready YET?!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Wives always get the blame when couples are late for functions. But in reality, it''s the HUSBANDS who hog the bathroom...and all the hot water!...


You Think You Had A Hard Day?
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Excerpted from the book "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge..of Midlife!" by Julie Donner Andersen....


The Ones Who Need You The Most
 by Julie Donner Andersen
The power of a mother''s prayer is a mighty thing! * * *...


Mental Male Parentals
 by Julie Donner Andersen
What kind of dad are you?...


Just The Way You Are?!?!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Midlife Wife loves her Midlife Man just the way he is, but his weird idioscrasies are enough to drive her to the Funny Farm, says Julie Donner Andersen, author of "Parentally Insane: Insights From Th...


Rudolph And The Shrink
 by Julie Donner Andersen
The REAL story behind the song is finally revealed! ...


Beauty Shop Bitties
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Every woman knows where to get the best gossip. Now it's time to reveal the secret - to the men....


When Are You Due?
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Has middle aged bloat turned you into a middle aged parade float? Then commiserate with Julie Donner Andersen, author of the upcoming illustrated humor book, "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edg...


The Ego Has Landed
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Flirty? Sensitive? Nahhh, it's just Midlife Man's new contacts, says Julie Donner Andersen, author of "Parentally Insane: Insights from The Edge...of Midlife!"...


America - I Miss You!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Patriotism is a part of your soul...and can never be replaced. ...


Of Fruit And Friendship
 by Julie Donner Andersen
...


Jesus Is My Blankie
 by Julie Donner Andersen
What a friend we have in Jesus! ...


The Counsellor
 by Julie Donner Andersen
"I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)...



Poetry

A Child's 9/11 Rememberance
 by Julie Donner Andersen


A Prayer For My Husband
 by Julie Donner Andersen


He Comes To Me
 by Julie Donner Andersen


You Were There
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Waiting For Your Love
 by Julie Donner Andersen
**It''s difficult to love a widower, and even more difficult to be patient as he works through the stages of grief into a new life and love anew.** **Dedicated to my newsletter members: my wo...


He Awaits
 by Julie Donner Andersen
**I wrote this poem during my single parent days after my first marriage of 17 years broke up. Darn if it weren''t true! My husband, Mr. Right, is now allll mine. :)**...


Always And Forever
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Marital Rhapsody
 by Julie Donner Andersen


A Lifetime
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Loving a Widower
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Every Now And Then
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*...


My Graduate
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*for my Lindsay...


Pieces Of God
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Just Love Her
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*For my Chelsea...


The Mansions Of Heaven
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*John 14:2...."In my Father''s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." ...


Seeking Perfect Peace
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Artist of My Soul
 by Julie Donner Andersen


The God In Me
 by Julie Donner Andersen
On Christ, the solid rock, I stand. All other ground Is sinking sand. ***********************...


Almighty God, Because Of Who You Are...
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*...


The Great Pretender
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Sticks And Stones
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Words DO hurt, and the pain from this kind of child abuse can last a lifetime....


It's So Strange Now
 by Julie Donner Andersen


HAPPY NEW YEAR!
 by Julie Donner Andersen


Whose Life Is It Anyway, Ladies?
 by Julie Donner Andersen


A Family Is...
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*...



Articles

Beauty Tips For The Hormonally Challenged
 by Julie Donner Andersen
...


Moving On and Letting Go: Are They The Same?
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Award winning author and grief specialist Julie Donner Andersen discusses the vital differences. ...


Enough Already!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
When will a widower stop memorializing his late wife? ...


The "Fits And Starts" of Dating a Widower
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Does your previously widowed boyfriend sometimes emotionally withdraw from your relationship? Read what Julie Donner Andersen, author of "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense! Insights From One Woman''s Jo...


Are You A Grief Enabler?
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Wives and girlfriends of widowers are queens of patience, tolerance, sympathy, and compassion, but are our acts of kindness only serving to enable our mate’s grief even further?...


Girls Are Aliens Without Wahoos
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Excerpted from the award winning humour book, "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!" by Julie Donner Andersen....


Why Is He Scratching There? AKA: Take Me Out To The Ball Game
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Award winning humor author Julie Donner Andersen explains "repositioning" from a female perspective....


Spam: It's A Guy Thing
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Whether it''s grey meat or unwanted e-mail, it exists because it''s making some people verrrrry happy....


What My Widowed Husband Has Taught Me
 by Julie Donner Andersen
If we are wise, we can learn a great deal about life from those around us...especially those we hold dear. Join Julie Donner Andersen, author of "PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense! Insights From One Wom...


My Mom Was "Pockets"
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Those of you who grew up in the 1970''s and lived in the tri-state area of northwest Ohio will relate to the following story....


Lance Romance's Gift Guide for Men
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*From the upcoming humour book, "Lance Romance in His Underpants: A Woman''s Guide to ''Guy Things''", by Julie Donner Andersen. ...


It's Only Human
 by Julie Donner Andersen
We''re all human...but God wants us to turn to Him to release our burdens. Julie Donner Andersen, author of “PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense! Insights From One Woman’s Journey As The Wife Of A Wid...


Why Are We Afraid To Ask “The Tough Questions”?
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Some wives of widowers battle things unseen...and unspoken. But if the answers to the tough questions are only a spouse away, what are we so afraid of? By Julie Donner Andersen, author of "P...


Crabby People
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Sick and tired of negative people? Join author Julie Donner Andersen ("PAST: Perfect! PRESENT: Tense! Insights From One Woman''s Journey as the Wife of a Widower" and "Parentally Insane: Insights F...


Patty Perfect
 by Julie Donner Andersen
The Stepford Wives have got NOTHING on these women, according to Julie Donner Andersen, award-winning author of "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!"...


Rebuttal to John Cleese Letter To America
 by Julie Donner Andersen
American author and humorist Julie Donner Andersen fires back at the famous comedian''s satirical essay flaming America. *...


Look, But Don't Touch
 by Julie Donner Andersen
*...


Keep It Down, Already!!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
My quest for world peace starts with my minivan....


Sex And The Busy Mom
 by Julie Donner Andersen
10 Tips to Help You "Get Busy"!...


The Last Acceptable Prejudice
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Justice for ALL? Not for a small but ever increasing population of Americans....


Veggie Genders
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Ever wonder if vegetables had genders? Julie Donner Andersen, author of the upcoming humor book "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!" has the answers!!...


An Ohio Yankee In The Great White North
 by Julie Donner Andersen
From the author of the hilarious book, "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge of Midlife"...


A Name by Any Other Rosie
 by Julie Donner Andersen
What''s in a name? Plenty, says humour writer Julie Donner Andersen, author of "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!"...


I Am A Christian - DEAL With it!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Intolerance of faith (one in particular) is spreading like wildfire...and we Christians are the new target. ...


Second Time's the Charm
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Sometimes, letting a child quit is music to her ears. ...



News

GIFT ITEMS FOR WRITERS SOLD HERE!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Humor author opens online gift store for writers ...


JulieDonnerAndersen.com Finally Arrives!!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
New online: The Official Website for WOWs and GOWs ...


Newest humor story by Julie Donner Andersen published by Canadian Content.com!
 by Julie Donner Andersen
To view story in its entirety, go to http://www.canadiancontent.ca/articles/120103ohioyankee.html...


New Website For Remarriage Features Julie Donner Andersen
 by Julie Donner Andersen
"A 10 Step Guide To Marrying A Widower", by Julie Donner Andersen, featured on new website for second marriages called "GettingRemarried.com"....


Parentally Insane" Chosen as Finalist for ForeWord Magazine Award
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Julie Donner Andersen's humour book about midlife, parenting, and marriage takes its first step toward a major literary award....


Julie Donner Andersen Book Chosen As Finalist in Foreword Magazine's 2003 Book Of The Year Awards
 by Julie Donner Andersen
For verification of fact, please go to the following link: http://www.forewordmagazine.net...


Julie Donner Andersen Featured at Christian Mirror Publications website
 by Julie Donner Andersen
The webzine for Christian women recently featured Julie''s article, "What My Widowed Husband Has Taught Me"....


Writer's Vision website hires Julie Donner Andersen as their new humor columnist
 by Julie Donner Andersen
Click on this link to see the first column installment: http://www.geocities.com/rosebud0310/HUMORCOLUMN.html...


Julie Donner Andersen wins "Best Short Humor" contest
 by Julie Donner Andersen
To view the winning submission, go to http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/4111/dandersen.html...


Links

Amazon
Both of Julie's books can be purchased here! Just search author's name or book titles.


Cafe Press
Julie's product line for merchandise (T-shirts, mugs, mousepads, and more!) featuring the cartoon characters from her book, "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!"

The Writers Place
My online store for humorous gift items pertaining to writers and writing! From T-shirts to mouse pads, I've got it all for you to show off your profession with a smile!

JulieDonnerAndersen.com
The official website for author Julie Donner Andersen, complete with interactive message board for WOWs and GOWs.


Additional information

Known in writing circles as Canada's premier humor writer, Julie is widely considered "the new Erma Bombeck" (see reviews below for "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge Of Midlife - a ForeWord Magazine "Book of the Year 2004 Award" finalist! )!



“From the first page to the last, “Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge Of Midlife” is a winner! Readers of Andersen’s first book, "Past: Perfect! Present: Tense! Insights from One Woman’s Journey as the Wife of a Widower" (iUniverse, Inc.), know that her keen eye for detail and refusal to let controversy stand in her way make her one of the few new writers of note who actual have something original and unique to say.
Equal parts Erma Bombeck and Gloria Steinem, Andersen has collected here an anthology of essays, musings, and anecdotes that read more like a gathering of old friends than the printed word. You’ll hear yourself in every line…that is, in between phone calls to your fellow members of the Midlife Moms Club to read entire passages - if not chapters - aloud!”
~ Rusty Fischer, contributing author/writer; Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul (Health Communications 2003) and God Allows U-turns: A Woman’s Journey (Promise Press 2002).

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“You can reach into Julie Donner Andersen’s "Parentally Insane: Insights from the Edge of Midlife", pull out a sentence at random, and chances are it will be a one-liner to do a stand-up comedian proud. Andersen’s magic comes from her ability to string these pearls of wit and wisdom into cohesive paragraphs, knit the paragraphs seamlessly into chapters, and come up with a book that sparkles from beginning to end with honesty, insight, and a celebration of that mystical, magical kingdom called Midlife Motherhood.
Whether she is describing the messy bedrooms of her children or the competitive nature of spouses comparing their respective “bad days”, Andersen stands in the company of women like Erma Bombeck, Phyllis Diller, and Roseanne—women who, rather than sacrifice individuality in the search for a cookie-cutter perfect, “Martha Stewart-ish” existence, proudly turn the spotlight on the imperfections of their real lives to reveal the true beauty within.
"Parentally Insane" serves as a guide for those women who are entering mid-life motherhood; a joyful walk down memory lane for those who are exiting the other side; and both a warning and an enticement for those who are weighing the pros and cons of such a life choice. For everyone else, it is a delightful, entertaining read!”
~ Betty Davenport Tesh, author of Future Perfect (1st Books Library, Inc.)

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“Life is too short to take subjects like husbands, kids, teenagers, and menopause so seriously ALL of the time. So if you're disposed to stopping and smelling the roses, let author Julie Donner Andersen along on your adventure. At midlife, past it, or think it'll never happen, "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge of Midlife" has something to make you laugh, cry, or stand and cheer. After all, who can't use a little more insight, or at the very least a little more laughter, to make your stay on this mudball worth the while?”
~ Bob Drews, author of the fiction novels Sandman and Derby Day (iUniverse Inc.)

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“In all my 40-something years I have never read anything that made me actually giggle out loud as often as I did while reading "Parentally Insane: Insights From The Edge of Midlife"! It is a masterpiece of daring truths and family hilarity. Once I started reading, I just couldn't stop! I read the whole thing with ridiculous tears of laughter streaming down my cheeks-or maybe they were tears of relief that my family wasn't the ONLY weird one in the world! What an absolutely delightful book! This should be a mandatory gift on Mother's Day!”
~Kristi Sayles, author of The Day I Woke Up As An Ostrich - An Odd Collection for Christians (SynergEbooks, 2001) and creator of "Instant Query Letter" software http://www.instantqueryletter.com.

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Calling “PARENTALLY INSANE” funny is like calling the Atlantic Ocean a puddle, the Grand Canyon a hole in the ground, and Mount Everest a hill.
From her opening salvo to her last sentence, Julie Donner Andersen holds the reader hostage in a prison constructed of gut busting, laugh out loud, slice of life humor reminiscent of Mark Twain, Will Rogers and Charlie Chaplin.
Andersen gives us a rib-tickling glimpse into the life of a mother approaching middle age who is trying to deal with the frantic life surrounding not only teenagers but toddlers as well. To do that well is a monumental task, but Andersen also throws in the wider circle of family life as each of its members interacts with the others. Entries such as “I Am Queen of My Castle (And My Subjects Are Royal Pains)” and “PMS, GYNs, And All That Crotch Rot” fill the book with promises of enjoyment by the reader, and Andersen does not disappoint the reader with broken promises.
All in all, this is an enjoyable romp through family life with all the veneer stripped off. Andersen shows us the family as it really is: dysfunctional, yet loving.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book from cover to cover. It took me a little longer than I expected to finish it because of the numerous times I stopped to laugh out loud or wipe away tears of laughter before continuing.
In my opinion, "PARENTALLY INSANE: Insights From The Edge...of Midlife!" is more than worth the price. It shows great wit, insightfulness, and family love. This book would make the idea present for almost everyone.
~Barbara Ann (Bobbie) Duffy, author of “Songs of Survival: Life is a Journey” (Bad Dragon Press)

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Special thanks to Derek & Joy Steele, the world's best illustrators! (Visit the Steele's website at www.steelestudios.com!)

 
Contact Information

Julie Donner Andersen
      Canada
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