Deposited here in this plantary host body at an early age by a vastly superior intelligence , it was originally my assigned task as a junior member of the galactic intelligence survey team to study the inhabitants of this savagely exciting place and report back my findings and observations on the ostensibly 'highest evolved intelligent life form' found on Planet Earth. Regrettably and inexplicably, I appear to have been abandoned to my own devices by my fellows in the interim. Accordingly, I pass the time and divert myself by jotting down my impressions of the indigenous sentient biological life forms (populating this planet) solely for my own amusement. It recently occurred to me that some of you Sapiens of the Homo genus might also find them bemusing (possibly even illuminating?), hence you shall find a few of my reflections on Earth life here. By some happy coincidence, I have found that setting my thoughts down in words to be one of the most refreshingly effective forms of psychotherapy available to an outworlder like myself. If I had to rely upon direct communications with the rudimentarily evolved 'human beings' I circulate among for personal social fulfillment (and understanding of their lives), I'd probably have long since turned into a puddle of insensate protoplasmic slag. Klatu barata nicto! 

A few of my serious published works do exist (in the subject area of chemical and biological defense technology), but the material appearing in Authors' Den is presented largely for your amusement. Someone recently complimented me hugely by observing that my writing is proof that sitting a single extraterrestrial down in front of 100,000 PC keyboards will eventually produce a recognisably dirty 'adult story'. Much of my whimsical work is done on the lovely island of Molokai, in the Hawaiian Islands, where an occasional falling coconut serves to cathartically jolt my scattered cerebral neurons back into thoughtful realignment, where the he'e nalu is good, and where the lovely wahines are always eager to learn about advanced Tau Ceti reproductive techniques (when they aren't all studying the hula, under the tutelage of their kumus, that is). There is no truth at all to the assertion that my opinion of myself is so good that I regard myself as a mere hobby! All that having been guilelessly shared, be prepared to boldly go where endless trillions of Earthly mortals have noisily tramped before. Don't forget to have the conductor punch your banana for the return trip, and by all means, enjoy the journey as much as you can, since you can never leave the destination without changing form and substance in a manner wholly unknown to Earth science.