Patrick A Granfors

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Let me help you smile!


I've never been what one might consider to be a writer. I'll pen the occasional spoof or rant in the local newspaper's opinion section. Their policy is to eventually print anything submitted assuming it is not offensive.  I have an offbeat sense of humor, often bordering a little on the dark side so I guess offensive is a relative thing. I'm not particularly well read, other than the coursework required for my geology degree 35 years ago and the occasional science fiction book.

I retired in January 2014 after 40 years in the construction industry. Glad I did while I've still got a little tread on my tires.

I lived in Alaska during the mid seventies where I started my career in construction as a geotechnical engineer on the pipeline. It was my first real job and to this date the best job I ever had. I've always loved the wilderness and during my stay I was able to travel deep into the back country where few tourists go. The views and the wildlife were just unbelievable.

We moved from Southern California in February to the woods of Southwest Missouri's Mark Twain National Forest on Table Rock Lake. Culture shock in an excellent sort of way.

I  amuse myself writing sarcasm and silliness, occasionally some real poetry. I get my motivation from my memories of Mad Magazine, National Lampoon, The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers (I'll be amazed if anybody knows who they were), and other low key forms of humor. I'm a huge fan of Andy Rooney and his dry wit. I've mulled a couple of ideas for a book or two but never put any serious effort into it.  I'm still a die hard Detroit Tiger and Lions fan. Most years it is painful. Direct TV just makes it a little easier to self inflict.

I spend a lot of time in the kitchen as I enjoy cooking a significant variety of culinary treats, some of which actually turn out to be edible.

I'm not particularly religious. Belonged to a Lutheran congregation through high school but never went back. But I respect anyone's beliefs and religions so long as they are not harmful to others.

It's the love of my life Eileen who motivated me to join the site, if nothing else just to have a place to keep my "stuff" She's been posting for quite some time now and I'm always impressed with her work even though it often hits very, very close to home. She's unique, and so am I.  An odd pair.

Birth Place: Lansing, MI USA

Accomplishments: Employee of the month, October 1981, Wismer & Becker Corporation

Short Stories

Strawberry Green Springs
 by Patrick A Granfors
Sage sent me a funny commentary last week. This is what came out of it. No idea what to do with it, sort of dorky, but OK how many wines and liquors can you find? Chapter one....maybe...

 by Patrick A Granfors
Possibilities and lessons

Drip Line
 by Patrick A Granfors
The results of Friday's noctunal slide show...


Queen of Broken Hearts
 by Patrick A Granfors
Country Lyrics for mending a Broken Heart....

Somebody Blinked
 by Patrick A Granfors
Relief at last cheap gas in Missouri Photo:Patrick Granfors...

Drink About It
 by Patrick A Granfors
With the price of oil, war of the spoils Here’s your bucket for the big bailout Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan We gotta, a lot to drink about Jimmy Buffett ...

 by Patrick A Granfors

 by Patrick A Granfors
We've all been there...

Standard Issue
 by Patrick A Granfors
Pure fiction that evolved while listening to a Jimmy Buffett tune in my pickup on my way into town for an errand. Photo: By Patrick Granfors...

Wisdom of the Wind
 by Patrick A Granfors
Memorial Day thoughts...

Rainy Day Poem
 by Patrick A Granfors
A resident seeking breakfast on a rainy morning. Photo by Patrick Granfors...

Can You Imagine
 by Patrick A Granfors

The Beer Standard
 by Patrick A Granfors
The government prints money. They print lots of money; so much that it is commonly believed that roaring inflation is inevitable. Many people have been convinced that gold and silver is an effective h...

 by Patrick A Granfors
A matrix of ku's ...Vertical, Horizontal and diagonal. Photo:By Patrick Granfors...

Deep Space Niner
 by Patrick A Granfors
Don’t even ask Photo: By Patrick Granfors ...

Squirrel B’Gone!!
 by Patrick A Granfors
This is JJ. We adopted her on Wednesday from her kind hearted foster parents. She was the ward of a county shelter in central Missouri. She and her sister had been dumped and were found roadside in th...

Why Engineers Shouldn't Write Poetry
 by Patrick A Granfors
Eileen posted W.H. Auden’s poem, “As I walked out one evening” yesterday. I commented on this masterpiece but then decided to post my comment as well. To Eileen, title is obvious. ...

 by Patrick A Granfors
In 1967, my dad, with three other engineers invented an improved underwater listening device known as a sonobouy. At the time it was primarily for military use. Fast forward to 2014 and flight 370. T...

April Fool
 by Patrick A Granfors

Luck of the Irish
 by Patrick A Granfors
Caught this shot of the moon setting over the lake at sunrise. Not celestially uncommon but a nice way to start my birthday which was Saint Patrick’s Day. Photo; Patrick Granfors ...

ET is Here!!!
 by Patrick A Granfors
I took this photo of a petrified “ET” down by the lake on Saint Patrick’s Day. This is clear evidence of Extraterrestrial Life and proof that green beer opens the senses to scientific observation...

Dear Abby
 by Patrick A Granfors
This is my neighbor’s dog Abby, a rescued Australian Shepherd mix. No sheep for her but whoever said you can’t herd cats got it completely wrong. This one happens to be her favorite Photo:Pat...

The Edge of My World
 by Patrick A Granfors
I took this photo last fall along my property line that runs adjacent to the lake. Quiet,simple, remote, beauty. ...

Dementia is Contageous
 by Patrick A Granfors
Mom has Alzheimer’s and lives in an assisted living facility. Her near term memory failed several years ago and her long term memory is fading fast. Every day is a new adventure. I recently spent a co...

The Passenger in Seat 4B
 by Patrick A Granfors
I flew back to LA last week to pick up my mom and bring her back to live here in Missouri. It was a tough few days packing her up but because I had booked so late and the flight was a true red-eye, fi...

 by Patrick A Granfors
We have a pileated woodpecker as big as a chicken that seems to enjoy drilling dime size holes in the bottom of our deck. His knocking is driving the dogs crazy because they think somebody is constant...

Back in the Saddle - Minus a Horse
 by Patrick A Granfors
I finally retired last month and we relocated to southwest Missouri to our lakefront home. Took this photo of one of our local birdies flying over the deck: Photo:Patrick Granfors...

Sequastration - An Economic Primer
 by Patrick A Granfors
The truth hurts....and no I'm not dead yet...But thanks for asking;-)...


Best Onion Soup Ever
 by Patrick A Granfors
Great Soup, use an electric skillet at 375 degrees...

Fabulous Eight Bean Soup
 by Patrick A Granfors
From my kitchen…..It’s wintertime which to me is soup season. Here’s a crock pot “recipe” for some tasty and hearty eight - bean soup that I make frequently when whole hams go on sale which I then re-...

 by Patrick A Granfors
The consequences of a long afternoon....

Mighty Fine Stuffed Cabbage Rolls
 by Patrick A Granfors
OK. Here’s a departure from my norm that deserves special attention. I don’t normally share my cooking failures, but I’m willingly share my successes. Stuffed cabbage rolls are a definite winter time...

Phobos-Grunt Re-entry
 by Patrick A Granfors
It could happen as early as this coming Sunday....

My Second Ozark Boat Ride
 by Patrick A Granfors
Vacation thoughts about a mighty fine Ozark day. Photo: By Patrick Granfors, Cottonmouth on the lake...

Marinating on my TV
 by Patrick A Granfors
I give up...

A Penny For My Thoughts?
 by Patrick A Granfors
It currently costs the US Mint 1.8 cents to produce a penny. A nickel costs about 8 cents and a quarter costs a dime. A printed bill costs about 4 cents regardless of the denomination ...

Time for Confusion
 by Patrick A Granfors
Its about time...

Alzyisms Part 7 - Partial Reconciliation
 by Patrick A Granfors
Time marches on and so does Alzheimers...

Alzyisms - Part 6
 by Patrick A Granfors
Today is the day, live for the now...

Dateline Orlando
 by Patrick A Granfors
I have huge respect for Tiger and little respect for the parasites of the media who once again wet themselves. Still it is a shameless humor opportunity....

Alzyism's Part 5
 by Patrick A Granfors
The hill is getting steeper....

Alzyisms Part 4
 by Patrick A Granfors
Nearing the end of an eight week stint, we go on a family "vacation"...

Alzyisms Part 3
 by Patrick A Granfors
Another stint begins...

Patrick's Somewhat Amusing New Car Buyers Guide
 by Patrick A Granfors
Choose your lemon from this virtual citrus grove of the industry's finest offerings ...

Low Tech Potato Leek Soup
 by Patrick A Granfors
A Personal Favorite...

Living with Alzheimers (Alzyisms Part 1)
 by Patrick A Granfors
This is for anybody having to deal with a live in parent with challenges....

Alzyisms Part 2
 by Patrick A Granfors
Alzheimers isn't going away...

Plodding Along on LA's 405 Freeway
 by Patrick A Granfors
For those who hate commuting...

Old news but amusing for some
 by Patrick A Granfors
My co-worker is a wolverine fan. He had his way with me(not literally) for several years. Pay back...

For Frustrated Spartans
 by Patrick A Granfors
Someday again...

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 Patrick A Granfors
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Member Since: May, 2009

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