I have chronicled my difficult early life in my book, Gaining a Sense of Self, published by Sid Harta in 2010. I worked as a librarian in Queensland and Tasmania until my breakdown in 1995. The catalyst for my mental condition was being bullied while working in a school environment. The consequences were serious because I was becoming suicidal. The chance listening to a Radio National Program in 1997 about diaries and the subsequent readings of my own diaries led me on a journey of understanding and eventual recovery with the help of health professionals. I was in urgent need of counselling and psychiatric support. Initially there was no quick fix. However, in 1998 a psychiatrist enabled me to retrace the first twenty-five years of my life and look at them anew in her presence.

   What I discovered: I had a narcissistic mother, who, after her marriage collapsed, had me placed in a Catholic orphanage when I was seven years old. She told me it was a poor boarding school and I believed her right up until 1998 when there was publicity about abuse in Austrlalian institutions, one of which was the orphanage I attended. When growing up I suffered verbal, physical and psychological abuse from my mother. I was so fortunate to have a brother who supported me when times were tough.We were both bashed, humiliated all through our childhoods and adolescent years. Even our pet dogs did not escape punishment: my first dog, Beauty  and her newly born pups were thrown into the Brisbane River. I was nine years old at the time. My next dog, Misbe  (short for 'Misbegotten') was named by my mother because he was of mixed breed. I only had him as a pet for six months because whenever he did something wrong she would demand her current lover to beat him with a steel pipe. Due to these beatings I returned him the The Dog's Home, hoping a kind family would adopt him.

Despite my mother's discouragement I continued my education, and when awarded a Comonwealth Scholarship I delayed accepting it for two years due to lack of finances. In 1963, I commenced university - much to my mother's disgust. During my years there I suffered many deprivations and was compelled to take on part-time jobs to survive. I was too poor to buy books and spent long hours at the university library studying the set texts. In my final year I was raped. Unable to concentrate, my unwelcome pregnancy caused such  distress during my exams that I failed by one subject.Once my exams were over I sought an illegal abortion that left me penniless and without any prospects. My mother continually threatened to throw me out. For some months I worked as a barmaid  so I could pay her board. Finally  I was offered full-time work as a library assistant. Subsequently I re-enrolled at  university and completed my degree in 1966. The following year I found my true love. George Wilson and I were married shortly after my graduation.  My memoir concludes with the lead-up to our wedding. George and I have been happily married for forty-seven years.