Reach for a star, miracles happen, spread the word.
The recipe for changing a life is simple; it is rarely easy. For myself, it seemed a slow trudge to nowhere. The main ingredient was the getting up each morning and putting one foot before the other; like a broken record, I got sick of it.
I did it anyway.
"Hello, I am Janeen Noetling, student of life and various other interesting subjects. I have been a full-time mother, full-time single working mother, wife, divorced, widow, and alone. I have studied Design, Architecture, Drawing, English, History, Computers, Programming, and Writing. I have driven 18-wheelers in 48 states and Canada.
I am a grandmother of twelve going on thirteen. I love anything outdoors, anything computer, and pillow top mattresses.
I am delighted when I find myself walking in a field of violets or among succulent blackberries. I melt in my grand children's smiles.
My favorite color is purple; favorite flower is Daffodil; I love to eat the burnt crusty coating of a fire-toasted marshmallow.
Thunderstorms relax me; the boogieman will not be outside my window in stormy weather. That thought comforted me when I was a little girl; it comforts me still.
I am a great cook. I make fudge from a 1937 Hershey's cookbook and for Christmas I give jars of homemade Orange Marmalade and Apple Butter.
When I find my little patch of ground, I will plant Blueberries, Strawberries, and Blackberries. and Raspberries. My grandchildren will pick them, and I will say,
"One for the basket.
two for the belly,
three for the freezer,
and four makes jelly."
They will gather at my table for hot homemade yeast buns dripping with butter and warm jam.
I am me, whatever that be, just for today because each day I discover more pieces of who I am. It is a great mystery yet to unravel; only time will tell its secrets."
Growing up was a struggle. Survival was the word of the day, every day. There was no corner of the small farm house that did not reek of silence and rot.
"No one escaped, including the perpetrators of the calamity." Janeen says.
In 2006 Janeen came full circle; after the best of thirty years of self exile, and with great fear, she returned "home" to research and write her memoir "Entombed in Silence" for her four children and twelve grandchildren.
"My mind is less twisted since returning home to do battle with my demons."
After instigating the shattering of the "family silence" much of her family has joined her in her journey. Sadly, the three siblings her book is dedicated to are gone too soon, and three more will not embrace her.
"Some tell me I have worked a miracle," Janeen says. "The truth is, I couldn't have come this far without them. They let down their walls and let me snuggle inside their hearts. Before I returned I was like a good cake without the icing. They are my icing
My sister Wanda was fifteen when I was born; she was one of my sister-mama's, as our mother did no hands on caring for the babies. Here is An Interview With My Sister Wanda."
Her four children top the list with 12 grandchildren and one on the way right beside them.
Pete, her best friend and second husband of just 12 days before he died of cancer.
The millions of people who rise each day against the odds and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Qualifying Life Experiences:
Recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous
Therapy at Rape Crisis Center in Daytona Beach, Florida
Five mental hospital stays over a period of 35 years
Tons of introspection
Rewiting of negative childhood messages
Returning to the land of those negative messages
Discovering after a lifetime of being alone, family
Person Katherine Hepburn
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Brocton, NY USA
Beyond getting a poem printed in the West Barre, NY Methodist Church bulletin, my biggest accomplishment to date is survival.