As I make myself a home
having  driven that 50 miles,
just beyond my 50 years
to my private Paradise.

I had traveled those first miles
with a different perspective. 
I contemplated my  journey
My mind wanders
to my more recent past.....
3, 4 maybe 5 years before.

You came to me, those beautiful soft
brown eyes, you looked at me
as though you could see my soul,
your eyes seemed wanton 
with a certain allure,
your body spoke a language
I have always wanted to know.

At the time, self esteem low,
I thought you were a tease,
knowing  how I have always felt .

I smiled and turned away,
so as not to let you see,
the quiver run through me
and the heat that rose.
 
As these years have passed,
3, 4 maybe 5 or more.
I've oftened wondered, what if....?

Now as I sit here taking in the beauty
of my surroundings, it is only natural
that my mind travels to the beauty of you.

I have come to know you.
just a little bit more and
I think of myself
such a fumbling fool.

With all the gentle kindness
that is truly you,
taunting is not your way.

How could I have
doubted your eyes?
My god...
Did I hurt you?  

You showed me that
sensitive vulnerable side.
I the uncertain fool.
looked the other way.

My stomach turns and
I pray for another day,
a chance of knowing you,
to experience your touch,
to feel your breath closer
than ever before.

I shiver with feelings for you
I am breathless....
wondering ....what if?

  © 2008 Carin' Spirit