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Duke LaRance

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Old Joe Drank Old Crow
by Duke LaRance

Sunday, May 13, 2012
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Duke LaRance
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           >> View all 165


 

I never did care much for vodka drunks
To me they’re just Absolut slobs
I think winos are the lowest of low
They are all real slobbering snobs
I won’t stoop to drink any foreigner’s beer
I’d much rather swill PBR
Besides, I am just too goddamned cheap
To push hard earned cash ‘cross a bar
You can take your Canadian “whisky”
Pour it where the sun don’t shine
I am an American-made man
I will choose bourbon all of the time
 
Old Joe drank Old Crow
Well into his Ancient Age
An Old Granddad in his Old Rocking Chair
It seems we were on the same page
He knew James B. Beam personally
He said Kesslers was as smooth as silk
He said as a child that if forced to decide
He’d choose Jack over mothers milk
 
Irish makes me feel queasy
Just the smell of Scotch makes me gag
Don’t offer me Bombay Sapphire, I’d
Rather suck on a dirty bar rag
The last time I drank Pepe Lopez
I did a madcap Mex hat dance
I awoke on the floor where I’d peed myself
To find someone had dumped in my pants
I’d rather not get all rum-dumb
Although Meyers’ dark ain’t all that bad
But I’d rather knock back some Maker’s Mark
It is some of the best to be had
 
 Old Joe drank Old Crow
Right up to the day he went dead
An Oly would have settled his guts
But he’d rather drink bourbon instead
Yup, Old Joe drank Old Crow
From a bottle still wrapped in a sack
Today I will honor his memory
Lounging in my old shed out back
©2012/duke larance/all rights reserved
 
 
 
 
 
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Reviewed by Erin Kelly-Moen 5/21/2012
Absolutely delightful, Duke! I was grinning and nodding and chuckling through the whole poem, and still am! Grew up in Wisconsin, PBR ruled, way back then.. Gravel pits and many Milwaukee beers tossed in, not to mention Sloe Gin!! Ha, thanks for the fun!

Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 5/14/2012
Where I come from, they all drink brandy and beer. Not being of that mold, I like a little wine and Jim Beam to wash down my evening.

I very cleverly written piece! Cheers!

Ron
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 5/13/2012
Here I thought you would turn out to be Old Joe, or I wish I could say that he is me, as drinking for me, either fortunately or unfortunately is long past...what else have you go to do way out in the boonies of Montana anywayz...? ;-) ed
Reviewed by John Flanagan 5/13/2012
I love this, Duke, love it!
and you devil you've almost tempted me
to go back on the booze..
the style, pace and energy are fine indeed
right down to that soft and tender finale

yes!

john



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