I never did care much for vodka drunks
To me they’re just Absolut slobs
I think winos are the lowest of low
They are all real slobbering snobs
I won’t stoop to drink any foreigner’s beer
I’d much rather swill PBR
Besides, I am just too goddamned cheap
To push hard earned cash ‘cross a bar
You can take your Canadian “whisky”
Pour it where the sun don’t shine
I am an American-made man
I will choose bourbon all of the time
Old Joe drank Old Crow
Well into his Ancient Age
An Old Granddad in his Old Rocking Chair
It seems we were on the same page
He knew James B. Beam personally
He said Kesslers was as smooth as silk
He said as a child that if forced to decide
He’d choose Jack over mothers milk
Irish makes me feel queasy
Just the smell of Scotch makes me gag
Don’t offer me Bombay Sapphire, I’d
Rather suck on a dirty bar rag
The last time I drank Pepe Lopez
I did a madcap Mex hat dance
I awoke on the floor where I’d peed myself
To find someone had dumped in my pants
I’d rather not get all rum-dumb
Although Meyers’ dark ain’t all that bad
But I’d rather knock back some Maker’s Mark
It is some of the best to be had
Old Joe drank Old Crow
Right up to the day he went dead
An Oly would have settled his guts
But he’d rather drink bourbon instead
Yup, Old Joe drank Old Crow
From a bottle still wrapped in a sack
Today I will honor his memory
Lounging in my old shed out back
©2012/duke larance/all rights reserved
Bookmarks
Share
Print
Save