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Gwen Dickerson

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Member Since: Sep, 2002

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Night Evil
By Gwen Dickerson
Sunday, April 11, 2004

Rated "G" by the Author.

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A woman's frightful escape attempt from unknown entities.
Photo courtesty Stephani Pui-Mun Law
www.shadowscapes.com

Running and stumbling across this neglected field, frantic with fright, I repeatedly look behind me. Although my senses tell me that something is amiss, I can see nor hear nothing in this murky, dark evening except the singing of crickets. Perhaps I should have stayed on the road inside my car and waited for someone to help me fix my flat tire, instead of taking a short cut across this field towards the dimly lit house I see in the distance.

Earlier, I must have taken a wrong turn onto an old, unused road because after an hour, there had been not a single vehicle seen. Yet, something had bumped against my car several times. Something that I could neither see nor hear, but felt. My repeated calls of, "Who's there?" were not answered and my sense of fear escalated as the sky darkened, welcoming the approaching night.

Finally, I could no longer just sit there thinking of impending doom. With all the courage that I could muster, I opened the car door and started running as fast as I could toward the house. Thinking, perhaps I'd be safe there, safe from whoever or whatever was frightening me.

Now, it seems that the more I run, the farther away that house appears to be. "Leave me alone" I scream aloud, gasping for breath as I run. Avoiding thick brush, I am unmindful of the uneven ground. I do not see the sink hole, I only feel the sharp pain as I wretch my ankle. Howling in agony, I fall face down upon the ground, biting my lip. I can taste the gritty earth ... and the warm blood dripping from the gash that my teeth have made.

Alarmed, I am now aware of an eerie looking tree looming directly in front and above me. Its form, a twisted, swaying silhouette, dances an entrancing minuet as the wind whips through its branch-like arms. Arms that reach toward me with hand and finger-like branches, bony and beckoning, as if beseeching my embrace.

A most horrid sense of dread has now taken hold of me, squeezing my pounding heart in its icy grip. My throat is a spit-less dry desert, my body, damp and limp, sprawled upon this cold ground. Tears merge with mucus from my nostrils and flow down onto my bloody lips and chin.

Something gleams in this evening's mist and I see flashes of white teeth and strange inhuman, glowing eyes. An unfamiliar and powerful odor has infused this night's air. It seems that this odor is having a hypnotic affect upon me. I barely hear the low growls and snarls as I wonder if I'm imagining this, if this is illusion or reality.

I suddenly have my answer, as low rumbling thunder is accompanied by lightning flashes that light up this dismal landscape. My fears are validated! I see ... them! I am frozen with fright, realizing I have been stalked and encircled by this unknown evil. In this split second, my mind's perception of reality changes! Yet, it refuses to comprehend this sight. It refuses to catagorize this evil that has surrounded me! I mentally "lose it" momentarily.

A piercing scream, assails the night, a terrified sound of dread and despair. I realize somewhere within my confused mind, that this unholy scream is indeed mine. "Help me, somebody!" I blabber. I try to stand, the pain is excruciating! I fall again as an icy cold numbness spreads throughout my body. I have been stalked by unknown fiends that now hover around me. They wait ... for what, I do not know.

Pain surges through my arm, accompanied by shortness of breath and dizziness, and yet, I clearly understand that these alarming signals confirm that this night's evil has won, that I am having a heart attack! I can only pray that it finishes me before something's meal, I become.

Copyright©)2004 by Gwen Dickerson
All rights reserved

       Web Site: Gwen Dickerson's Site

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Reviewed by J Howard 4/2/2011
fun read, with the best ending- an unexpected one
Reviewed by Michael Gibbs 12/26/2008
Too scary! Well done.
Reviewed by michelle noble 12/14/2008
wow prety cool. sorta freaky to me. i loved it
Reviewed by David Boyle 10/25/2007
Hello Gwen!

Great story!
"Night Evil" is rich with mood, intensity and frightening imagery.

I look forward to another!
David
Reviewed by Charles O'Connor III 10/8/2007
I thought this was an extremely great story. Lots of atmosphere and tension but it could have been more if you wrote in present tense. Other than that I would give this 10 stars. Good Job.
When You can check out my first new story for a new anthology I am working on. All comments good and bad are welcomed.

Take Care,

Charles D. O'Connor III

Reviewed by el rey 6/27/2007
This story validates that you truly have a discerning mind... I am truly sad to inform you that your talent is in writing horror stories...Engaging story, keep up the good work...ps.i am ure biggest fan
Reviewed by Laurie Jay 3/22/2007
I like the concept of this story -- very scary -- but the language seems a bit formal for a horror story.
Reviewed by Victor Farrell 4/10/2006
Well, you got my attention!

Victor Farrell
Reviewed by Alex Nodopaka 4/9/2006
Another excellent story. Well told. I think the ending weakens the thriller...
Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher 2/18/2006
A most compelling story, almost forgot to breathe! Thanks for sharing this.
Birgit and Roger
Reviewed by Sandra Mushi 12/28/2005
And then? And then? And then? Daaarn, this is one good chilling write! I personally think this stry is excellent - the imagery is very descriptive and suspense at its best! I really love your stories!

God bless, Gwen!

Sandie.
Reviewed by Gwen Dickerson 3/26/2005
Thanks for the constructive criticism and advice, Lee. I sincerely appreciate it! I'm working hard to improve my writing skills.

Thanks, everyone! I appreciate all comments from my readers.
Reviewed by Lee Garrett 3/19/2005
The elements are all in place for an excellent story. It has one weakness, the narritive "voice" is a little distant from the events, acting to insulate the story. This comes off as a related story being told rather than sequential moments being experienced. There is a little more intimacy that you can bring between reader and main character. Take out the narritive voice telling us of past events. If they're important, start the story earlier and go through those events chronologically as they happen. Also, concentrate a little more on the main character's sensory perceptions. Rewrite this and I think you can place it with an on-line horror e-zine.
Reviewed by Dana Reed 2/17/2005
Excellent. Grabs you from the first line and doesn't let go until the very end. The author displays a wonderful sense of developing fear within the reader for the poor soul being stalked in her story.

Reviewed by Mark Rockeymoore 2/9/2005
i like the way you capture us readers and never let up, from the beginning to the end. a strong tale indeed!
Reviewed by Peter Paton 7/18/2004
You have a knack for short stories Gwen..and not so short stories too I believe !!!

Terrific write in every sense of the word .

Peter Paton
Reviewed by Fr. Kurt Messick 6/1/2004
A powerful story!
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 4/13/2004
Wonderful horrifying write as it keeps the reader in suspense until the end without getting gory.
Reviewed by Nickolaus Pacione 4/12/2004
Thank you for showing what true horror is, and this is one that is well written. Very descriptive horror tale you got going here, and this is the kind of story that is rare. You could make this one into something a little longer, as good as it is. I could see this being the framework for a longer story.




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