As the sunshine of my day starts to set into the deepest part of a vast ocean, an ocean which now, no longer seems to have an easterly sky, where its warm, brilliant rays of love can rise from – I pray with all my heart to find the power to some how dry this ocean, before it permanently swallows and extinguishes the only sunshine I’ve ever known. Ironically, these very prayers fill my eyes with tears, so abundant even the dams of realization are unable to contain them as they rampantly drip from my cheeks, increasing the tide of this cursed ocean.

 

As with all sunsets, in the last few moments, before moving swiftly into the ocean, a final breath of life illuminates the skies with all the beauty and brilliance of its lights. Gazing upon this brings stillness and a peace of mind, enabling one to reflect the precious moments which had occurred during the day.

 

With thoughts of this day, now rushing through my mind, smiles and tears co-exist. From the first moment I awoke, hearing the words “talk to me”, and trying so hard to figure out a way to see the words, which I held so close to my heart. That very morning, my dreams came true as we walked, hand in hand gazing upon swirls of rubies and diamonds from the highest roof top.

 

As the morning ended, tears again sought the high ground, only to be stifled by the thoughts of a hidden piece of gold and the wind blowing through our hair. Once woken by the ringing of a phone bringing a love song to a long day. Flowers seemed to appear everywhere, while you were hard at work, balancing on the edge, they were draped over your new home as your life was being moved, even in the middle of the night, as your door was being opened, they would also appear in the middle of a windy field, on a special day the whole world knew about, these pedals of love would then later that day, be there to brighten our room. This happened just before we were consumed by a mixture of cold sweetness and the heart of a fire. The memory of your child like smile on that Christmas day, in the middle of the summer’s heat, will stay long past this day’s end.

 

As the memories of this day are drawn closer to its end, the tears once again return with a loving smile of a visit to an enchanted land of fantasy and make believe, and where words of “riding through a body” and “water” brought on a whole new meaning, where life’s stress seemed to slide through our toes and vanish into the sands, only to have the tide wash them away.

 

All during this day, we shared a love so intense, so strong; I felt the flood gates open time after time. A love I have never had before, nor can it ever be matched.

 

“Sunshine,” as you read this, I will be watching the final moment of your sunset from far above you, destined for a place which I’m not sure I belong. But, as you disappear into life’s ocean, I will always remember you and the love we shared. You will be etched on me forever. I hope and pray that perhaps somewhere, sometime our paths may once again meet under a veil which could allow us to explore our world, which we were only allowed to peek into. I also wish that somehow, someway we could continue some type of communication, to share with each other the days our new lives may bring. This however must be your decision. You know how and where to find me, please don’t ever forget how. No matter what the reasons may be or how much time has past, I will be waiting to hear your voice call my name, so once again I might be able to answer you with “as you wish, my love.” However, if your choice is never to see or at the least speak ever again, I will understand and leave you with this one departing wish. “May the happiest days of your past, be the saddest days of your future.”

 

As I promised from the beginning, all you needed to do is tell me to leave and the ‘magic’ will disappear from your life, as fast as it appeared. Please don’t ever forget me, as I shall never forget you…………….

 

Copyright ©, 2009 – Deborah Tornillo