“Very well: you proclaim the sovereignty of might. Guard then carefully that might; for if in a few months it escapes you, you will be in evil case to complain. Such is human nature!”  (Chateaubriand)

SCENE: ON THE HIGH MORAL GROUND OF INTUITION:

HIGH PRIEST: We are gathered here today beside the Altar of Intuition on High Moral Ground to make our Humble Petition in the Spirit of Unity to the Presiding Officer of This Great Superpower of Ours.

PRIESTS: Hail, Lord Mighty Almighty, the Might is with Thee!

BROTHERS: Might is Right! Might is Right! Might is Right! Unite in Hate! Unite in Hate! Unite in Hate! Roll out the Big Gun, Roll out the Big Gun! Roll out the Big Gun! Hail to the United Hates of America!

CHORUS: Moo, moo, moo... baa, baa, baa... moo, moo, moo... baa, baa, baa... moo, moo, moo... let us go along and be safe... what channel is this, by the way?

HIGH PRIEST (to priests): Reveal the Bull Dung that it may be offered to Lord Mighty Almighty on the Altar of Intuition and go up in Holy Smoke.

PRIEST A: Our Superpower is the only Superpower, the Acne of Civilization.

PRIEST B: You mean Acme I think.

PRIEST A: Huh?

CHORUS: Moo, moo, moo... what is true ? What should we do? Has anyone seen the latest poll?

A PRIEST: Any attack on Our Great Superpower is an attack on Civilization itself.

CHORUS: Baa, baa, baa... rah, rah, rah, Go Military, Go!

BROTHERS: That is Right and Might is Right. Unite in Hate, Unite in Hate! Unite in Hate!

PRIEST C: Anyone who disagrees is wrong, as every casual observer intuitively knows.

BROTHERS: Right, right, right, fight, fight, fight!

PRIEST D: They hate us because they are dead wrong, so let them die! They are jealous of our wealth and power, that is all there is to the absolute truth.

BROTHERS: Right, right, right, fight, fight, fight!

CHORUS: We have done no wrong, we never have nor will we ever, for we are always right and never wrong, moo, moo, moo, baa, baa, baa...

BROTHERS: Right, right, right, you've done no wrong, you've done no wrong, we must fight, fight, fight!

CHORUS: We hate the enemy. Only traitors love the enemy.

BROTHERS: Unite in Hate, Hate the Enemy, Might is Right! The Enemy is wrong! The Enemy is guilty.

HIGH PRIEST (to a priest holding torch): Light the Bull Dung and let the Holy Smoke cloud the Altar of Intuition. (priest sets fire to the Bull Dung)

CHORUS: Holy Smokes! How beautiful! Our intuition is good.

BROTHERS: (behind the smoke screen): Bombs away, boys and girls! Kill! Kill! Kill!

HIGH PRIEST: Let us now bow our heads in humble group love and offer up our petition to Lord Mighty Almighty, Mister President.

CHORUS: Who needs a god in heaven when the President is in the White House?

HIGH PRIEST: Our President in the White House, hallowed be thy name, the Might is with Thee. Lead us into the Valley of Death to fight the War on Terrorism....

Smoke Screen

March 2002