Short stories

The heart cries bitter tears, laments incessantly, but no one notices, no one bothers.

- What is your trouble? Why all this grief? The Reason asked.

- Oh, you know…The one I harbor inside ignores me completely, the Heart sobbed.

- Come on, poor thing; take your mind off it. Look around you and rejoice!
You are alive, the sun is shining; what else can you wish for? The Reason reasoned.

- Yes, the sun…But it hasn’t warmed me up ever since he forgot me, the Heart murmured moodily.

- Silly Heart, look around you: the rain is drenching the earth; the birds are huddling together in their nests, warming up. You should get warm,too. He won’t have mercy on you anyway, the Reason argued.

- I can’t get warm without him-why can’t you understand this? And the rain is not just drenching the earth, it is crying for me. The Heart sighed.

- While you are crying for him, he is warming other hearts. The Reason snickered.

- My only hope is that he is, perhaps, remembering me sometimes, the Heart said sadly.

- Look, the wind has picked up now. It ravages the trees, uprooting them, tossing branches all over the neighborhood! They are in their prime and could live long and happy, but they are already doomed. They will burn in the fireplaces, warming up chilled hearts. You should rejoice because the wind can’t get to you, won’t commend you to the flames, the Reason uttered.

- On the contrary, I am craving for the wind to squeeze me in its airy embrace and carry my love to him. And as for the flames in the fireplace, they are nothing compared to the raging inferno of love! the Heart cried out.

- Hey, look at the sea: the wind is pushing the waves, drowning boats, ships; the fish are moving deeper and deeper into the abyss, and the sea birds are fleeing in panic closer to the sun. You alone are not in danger, the Reason persuaded.

- I wish to drown in the waves of love, to soar toward Heaven like a bird and herald the advent of happiness that I do not have, the Heart lamented.

- You live on hope alone, that is your problem. You are too soft, unaccustomed to the harsh reality. There is no way you could thaw his icy heart, the Reason mused.

- When I hear the murmur of the tide as the waves roll up the beach, I am overfilled with this desire, the longing for staying close to him. But when the waters recede, I understand he is as distant as they are, although he is not at sea, but somewhere close by. When the leaves rustle on the trees, I can hear them whisper, ‘’We know you are in pain, so love us, and we will give you our unconditional love until the day when the autumn breeze rips us off the branches to carry us into eternity.’’ I often cry out to the birds flapping their wings in the turquoise sky, ‘’Tell him, tell the dearest of all green leaves about the poor Heart that’s yearning for him!’’ And the birds say, ‘’ Silly Heart, calm down, get up here, and join us in the sky; get some self-respect!” And I say, ‘’It’s easy to say when you are not in love.’’ But they just flap their wings up there….

- You can’t live on feelings alone, the Reason reprimanded gently.

- I agree, I lack common sense. But I am just a Heart, and I can harbor love or indifference, joy or sorrow. He rejected me, leaving me filled with pain. I often dream of jumping into the sea to soak in some strength and emerge on dry land rejuvenated, but the waves laugh at me, crashing on the beach. “He is estranged, and is getting more and more estranged. Sometimes he comes back but only to hurt more. He prides himself for ignoring your feelings, while you are agonizing in the throes of love. The love for him has entrenched itself in your core, burning you from the inside. You will burn to ashes, and you implore God to put out the fire, but it just keeps burning brighter and hotter. You have become the prisoner of your own feelings, locked up in the solitary confinement of your love, and your days have become darker than nights. Your love lifted you up to the sky, taught you to fly without wings, and you soared there, afraid to come down, to realize that he is no longer in love with you.’’

- Can you rip him out? Asked the Reason compassionately.

- But then…there will be nothing left inside of me! the Heart wept.

- Well, cry then, and your pain will be gone, the Reason conceded.

- My tears have dried up, and the birds have returned from the south, passed over me without a word. The rain keeps drumming on the rooftops, reminding me of him. I try to forget him, but I can’t escape the dreams in which he comes to me every night only to depart by dawn. I am not only a Heart, but the heart of a woman who was the first one to believe in Shakespear’s words about the Beauty; if Beauty were to exist on Earth, it would only be of black color.

- Shakespear was smart, said the Reason contemplatively.

- He was unhappy. In his misery I behold myself, only a wounded heart is capable of producing beautiful poetry. Many a beautiful women shone under the sun like diamonds-all have gone into earth like raindrops, all but one. The Black Lady rejected Shakespeare and earned eternity.

- There’s some truth in your words, Heart. Happy people don’t write of
the pain, the Reason muttered wonderingly, then switching the subject abruptly, exclaimed, Look at the skies-the sun has come out and chased the rain away!

- I used to be much happier, the Heart responded sadly. In those days the sun was warmer and the sky was clearer; the birds were singing more merrily, and the air was saturated with love. Today it’s different: the sun may be shining, but its light is cold; I don’t hear birds sing even if they are singing, and there is a chill in the air. In those days, pierced by the warm rays of spring sun, my soul longed for the sunshine. Sometimes it was so hot, as if the sun just awoke from its winter hibernation and was in a rush to share all its warmth with the Earth, frozen during the winter. Although winters were mild then, it was warm as usual, except the trees stood bare, their green foliage gone, waiting for the spring to blossom again, to share their fabulous fragrance with the entire world. Underneath those blossoming trees my soul was running ahead of me. White, pink, red blossoms followed me everywhere, bowing before me as the wind touched them, wishing me happiness. My soul was yearning for the grandest love and was heading toward the most excruciating pain, but it had no knowledge of it then. I saw him robed in black, but failed to realize it was the color of misery. I was thinking God had joined his heart and myself together. But why did he invade me, having closed his own heart? the Heart lamented.

- You won’t last too long with such pain inside you, the Reason cautioned.

- I will rise from the ashes, turn into a star in the sky, and will shine above him forever! The Heart cried out.

- The stars are too far from Earth, the clouds will obscure the sky, and he won’t see you. The Reason smiled.

- I am not closer to him being here on Earth, the Heart argued. I will rise from the ashes, I will become a flower in his garden and my fragrance will penetrate his heart. He will marvel at me, touch me, cherish and love me, and then, perhaps, he will recall a poor Heart he once rejected.

- He will simply cut you and hand you over to his new lover, the Reason sneered.

- Oh, how cruel of you! You men are so cruel and merciless! The Heart moaned, sobbing tearlessly.


By Liana Margiva.
Translated from Russian by Anatol Kardiukov. Copyright 2002.