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Short story by Liana Margiva
Today, I found out that you were looking for part-time girlfriends. It is not relevant how I got the news, but I was crushed, totally devastated. I was looking for you in Heaven, but found you on solid Earth. So, you are looking for new acquaintances, an exciting rendezvous? What kind of women are you looking for? What special gift must she possess to be fancied by you? How many dates does it take for you to dump a girlfriend? Do you zoom through all relationships, or am I the sole exception?
I beg your pardon, I forgot to introduce myself. The point is, we are in fact, acquainted, but you have no interest in me. I am in love with you, facing your utter indifference. I will not reveal my name to you, I want you to figure it out for yourself.
All the time, except when I was asleep, I was expecting you to start looking for me, while you ( as it has become crystal clear to me since) were expecting some other woman to show interest in you. You didn’t say goodbye to me when I was leaving. You were extremely busy and I was not on your immediate agenda. You were expecting a phone call from some other woman, any other woman but me!
For fourteen long months, I was dying from my affection for you; for fourteen long months a heavy load was pressing on my heart, slowly crushing it, stopping just short of killing me. Today, when I finally realized how desperately you are seeking new relationships, this load fell off.
Although I have been utterly miserable since we met, I am still grateful to the Almighty for that meeting. My dull life was finally illuminated by the boundless and pure love, which was (of course) marred by your aversion for me. I was simply looking (in vain) for a spot I could occupy inside your soul.
You will never understand what you were to me, and that no woman will ever desire you more than I did. A day will come, you just wait and see, when you will bitterly regret your attitude toward me. A day will come when your soul will become barren, when all women will look the same to you, when you’ll desire not insincere, make-believe care, but true warmth of a woman deeply in love with you and you alone.
The problem is, you won’t be able to find her. I will be far, far away by then. I will abandon you just as you left me, I will run away from you, because I won’t have the strength to wait for you any longer.
So, now you want to say something? Save your breath. I know all your responses in advance. Those responses are like the snow drifts of a first snow, they shine and sparkle lovely in the moonlight only to disappear once the sun comes out.
Your feelings for me had vanished. Every time we said goodbye to each other, you would forget me-correction-you would forget that I existed somewhere, waiting for you.
You are staying with those who will never be able to love you as much as I do, but you couldn’t care less! You don’t like sad, melancholy people? How can I be happy if you don’t love me? You like to have fun, but how can I explain to my heart that I will always be rejected by you? You celebrate life, when life has abandoned me.
Don’t tell me that I only have myself to blame, I never asked God for this! You are far away from me now, but I keep watching you from home. My soul follows you, but you failed to notice it. Perhaps, your soul was busy following someone else. I stay by your side from the instant you wake up, and only at night, when you entertain your quests, I depart.
Sometimes in my mind, I picture your house, hear your laugh, and see different women by your side. My heart contracts, shuts down, and it doesn’t want to see you in the arms of other women; but I force it to look at you. May it know who it loves, who it craves, and then it begins to cry and mourn!
Do you know what it means when your heart cries? No, you cannot understand it, for he who spends his nights with different women cannot possibly comprehend how one’s heart can cry for one and only. For you.
I wish you hadn’t wanted to meet me then, and I wish I hadn’t been able to get you interested in me at that time. Alas, like a complete idiot, I did get you interested, and you were right in the long run. Only an idiot can be totally consumed with passion for a man who doesn’t even remember her name!
Oh, you want to tell me something again? Don’t even try it. I will never forgive you for your treason. In fact, had I known from the start about your affaires d’amour, I would never have fallen in love with you.
Alas, on that remote, rainy night when we first met, you invaded my poor soul, to stay there forever. It was only later I realized on that rainy night, that the sky itself was mourning my destiny. It rattled with thunder and sent down angry bolts of lightning, commiserating. I rebelled against it, hid you deep in my heart, not knowing that you’d never want to stay there no matter how hard I begged.
I was happy with you for a fleeting moment, for which I paid dearly. I died when you abandoned me, so please teach me now to live with a dead soul.
I will not give you my name, no way. I want you to suffer too, looking for me amongst the women you share your nights with. On second thought, forgive me for my sudden cruelty. I cannot, nor will I ever, not for a brief instant, disturb your peace. Stop looking for me, you do not care for me anymore. I can never be found among those you share your merry life with!
Your woman in love.
Haven’t you guessed who I am yet? Or, perhaps, you have someone else on your mind?
By Liana Margiva.
Translated from Russian by Anatol Kardiukov.
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|Reviewed by Joyce Bell
|EXCEPTIONAL....AND A KEEPER! YOUR PHRASES ARE HAUNTINGLY AND SO SADLY...BEAUTIFUL. THANKS FOR SHARING AND GOD BLESS, LOVE,
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
|Reviewed by Inspire Hope
|A very interesting story Liana!
Be encouraged, and may the Lord always
provide for you, and sustain you!
Thank you for sharing your wonderful gift!
|Reviewed by Dawn Anderson
|Liana, this is so interesting in that you have these combating feelings of want and rejection, and I think there are many of us who can identify with this woman. And your writing style, as always, is incredible!|
|Reviewed by Tommy Thomas
|Strange Woman is a very intriguing story. It shares the thoughts of when a woman becomes one out of many and the indentity thereof becomes unknown to a lover who wants to later know who she is. Very interesting.|
|Reviewed by dan Rosenhagen
|It was only later I realized on that rainy night, that the sky itself was mourning my destiny.
How sincere and lonely a forsaken heart. If not for its pain giving birth of wisdom, then for what reason would there be?
I just loved you words ....thank you for sharing your wise heart. dan
|Reviewed by Andre Bendavi ben-YEHU
A story of wanting-rejecting and longing in “STRANGE WOMAN” showing a picture of the heart of a desperate lover, make this an important literary piece for psychoanalitical studies. I did like the imagery and the poetic rhythm through the lines of “STRANGE WOMAN”.
You write with a beautiful and enjoyable style. Please keep posting Your works in prose and verses.
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU