A piece from a play in progress.

The Harman home. Bill stands in the shadows and watches LYNN as she sleeps.

BILL: Morning, thank God for morning. Dreams, can’t bear the dreams. Don’t go there. Don’t think about it. Today I’ll change it. It’ll be all right. Everything. She’s still asleep. God, I love her. It’ll be all right for her, too. She’ll have everything she wants. Oh, my head. Need a cigarette. Damn. (Grabs a cigarette and quietly goes out to the balcony and lights up). God, it’s gorgeous here. All those goddamn palm trees.
Chicago was never like this. Too flat. Couldn’t take those winters anymore. Look at it. It’s heaven. Heaven. Lynn loves it. The kids …well, teenagers are never satisfied. I did good by them, though. Yeah. Good. It’ll kill her. No, it’s better this way. It’s all in order. (He looks in at Lynn, sleeping).

Oh God god. You toyed with me. Lied to me. I know about you. I know about you and Manny. It’s true . I got old and boring. Bill, the breadwinner. Your darling Bill whose sparkle went south. No more sparkle. Left that in Chicago with the grocery store and the solid income and properties. Fun Bill. Jesus.

Well, it is beautiful here. If you can discount the smog. God this place was gorgeous in the fifties. Just as unreal as those tiny miniature sugar oranges they used to sell in those tiny wooden crates. California, land of opportunities. Yeah, land of going into debt to buy your dream.

22 and owner of my own super market. BILL’s. BILL’s. Right smack dab in the middle of the Negro section of Chicago.
Negroes, yeah that’s what Blacks used to be called back then. Negroes. My Negro pals. My dats dems and doe’s buddies. Great clubs we used to go to. Lynn loved it, too. Style boy, they had style all right. Bill’s. It was good back then. It was good. Pa and uncles workin for me. Family. It was good. And all those cousins ... our own cousins club. The Russian Jews, redheads and blondes, freckles and blue eyes. A good life. It gave us a lot that store. It gave Lynn everything she wanted. Everything she never had. And the kids.

Lynn. 1939. She was 18, I was 22. It was the Friday night dance at B’nai Brith. Aw, she was beautiful. Black eyes black hair and that smile. Oh that smile. Lynn at that dance ... her black eyes shining, her black hair radiant ... she threw me for a loop. Ah, we were kids. But from that first dance, you couldn’t separate us with a knife.

I love this house.
I love everything about it.
And those palm trees.
I love lookin’ down on the world.
Hello world. Hello you big fucking beautiful cheating world. Look at those cars. Three shiny new blue cars.
A Jaguar for Papa Bear. A Chevy for Mama bear. And a Monza for Baby spoiled rotten bear.

I transferred the money into her account. Good.

Oh, bless me father for I have sinned.
I’m Jewish I’m not supposed to say that. But I have. Sinned. Broken the golden rule. Thou dost not buy a house and cars before thou can afford to pay for them. That’s the joke. I thought I could. I was sure at least one of those deals would come through. One big juicy … deal.

Did I have an affair?
Lynn thought I was having an affair.
No baby. You were quite enough woman for me. I just couldn’t look you in the eyes. Couldn’t fall apart in your eyes. Besides, you’re the one who was having an affair. Manny, our trusted family friend. Bill Bill … you are blind, man. Blinder than a real blind man.
Flashy charming witty Manny.
Full of life, full of fun.
We all loved him for it.
Even the kids.
Great guy.
Great fabulous guy.
And what a friend ... taught Lynn how to make floral arrangements so she could have a little extra pocket money. What a joker.
How stupid was I? Pals don’t sleep with their friend’s wife. Not my pals.

Oh Lynn. I didn’t mean to hurt you.
I had to do something. It was killing me. You two going to the races, having yourselves a good ‘ol time … while I was eating myself up trying to make more money. Diligently making cold calls, sending out calendars, driving all over town trying to build my business. What made me think I could go from being a butcher to a stock broker?
Yeah yeah, people LIKE me, trust me ... but I don’t have the edge, never had it. I’m not a business man. Never was, never will be. Too naïve. Too honest. Bill the good guy. Hard working, responsible.

What happened, baby? Me working such long hours make your life too boring?
Manny took you to the races. Bet hundreds of bucks at a time.
He has his flower shop. He makes good money. He has no wife and kids he’s responsible for. He’s got a quick tongue and he smells expensive.
Lynn, why’d you leave me behind?

I love this house.
I always wanted a house like this for us. What is it now? Just a little over a year? It’s been fun, hasn’t it?
When we put in the pool? And that automatic pool cleaner .. great gadget .. arms extend and it creeps from one end to the other suckin up debris. Love it. Love floating floating .. yes, floating.

Chicago was so flat. Winters, long grey cold. Chains on the tires. Kids skating on the street right outside the house. We sure had a fine house back there. Two stories and a full finished basement. A big fireplace in the rec room. Knotty pine walls with a long working bar. Cooked chickens down there, watched the fights on tv, gave great parties. Had family over all the time, your aunts, cousins, uncles, our friends, the kids’ friends. And the playroom just for the kids. Looked like FAO friggin’ Schwarz.

Look at those palm trees. And those bougainvillea. We never had pink like that in Chicago. So lush. So bright.
(beat)I was somebody back there! I was somebody. Bill’s Supermarket. And Bill’s father and uncles around him, working for him, with him, always there, always right there when you needed them. Oh God.

Baby, Baby sing me a song. Sing me my favorite. Just for Daddy.
C’mon baby. You sing so beautiful.

(sings). “I believe for every drop of rain that falls
a flower grows …”

Sing baby, sing for daddy.

(sings) “I believe that somewhere in the great somewhere a candle glows.”

My baby on Time for Tots, Chicago’s little local talent show. My little Becky made me so proud. What’d they give her for being on that tv show? A coupon for one gallon of ice cream? And what’d she sing?

(sings) “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie,
That’s Amore.”

That’s Amore.

Oh god. Chicago. But, damn. Held up at gunpoint. Twice. I thought my heart was gonna stop. That last time, I started to hate that store. Hate that neighborhood. Hate what I was doing every day from the time I was a kid. I was 35 but, hell I’d been in the food business since I was in knee pants.

Danny Thomas lived down there.
Fred Astaire across the street.
Beverly Hills. So beautiful here.

Even before the plane landed I knew I was a goner. California looked so good to me then. I thought I died and went to heaven. That first day, here with Lynn to visit her Aunt Jass. Tanned Aunt Jass. Rosie cheeks and tanned skin. White teeth and a grin that let you know she was keeping company in her bed at night. Good for you, Aunt Jass. Don’t let being a divorcee stop you.

Yeah, something about California plumped a person up. Like those big fat juicy oranges. Orange groves everywhere. You could smell em’ from miles away. Not anymore. Not for a long time. Smog took care of that. So did urban sprawl. Let’s hear it for the big fat BUCK. Let’s hear it for BIG get rich quick schemes. Let’s hear it for get rich quick schemes that blow up in your face!!!

God damn it.
I hate not being BILL anymore. BILL the owner of BILL’s.
Just a hard working mutual fund salesman, now.
Hardworking, no more big house in Chicago. The first house here? Had to let it go …get into an income property to help with it all. Neighbors upstairs. Okay, so the duplex was nice, for a duplex. THIS is California. This is where you can make anything happen. Where all you have to do is work hard and it all falls into place.

The house in Beverly HIlls just kept getting further and farther away.
And Lynn, you kept getting closer and closer to our good old pal, Manny. Our trusted family friend. God, how blind could I be? Blinnnnnder than blind.

How the hell was I suppose to compete with that? Nice Bill, good Bill, he tries so hard, Bill. Always struggling to keep everything afloat, Bill.
You said, “Manny, offered me a job, Sweetie. He’s going to teach me how to make floral arrangements. I’ll make extra money working in his shop and, you know, it might even be fun.”
Oh it was fun all right.
You learned to eat cracked crab and how to pick horses at the race track. Manny and his floral arrangements.
Race track arrangements in the middle of the afternoon.
Sure I was invited. But I was working, baby, working for you, for us. For the kids.
Oh, he was a charmer all right. Manny and his stunts.
Even the kids thought he was somethin’. What a personality. Such a joker. He was fucking you wasn’t he, Lynn? He was fucking my wife.

Well, not anymore. Nope. I found a way to take your mind off Manneeeee.
BILL, YOUR Bill, went out and bought you your dream house. You loved this house the minute you saw it. Beverly Hills to boot. Not just Beverly Hills adjacent, where the duplex was. Right across the street from Fred Astaire's old place and Danny Thomas'. Yes, my black-eyed raven, you’ve got your dream house, but ...

The Emerald mine .. the gold mine .. the shopping plaza.I thought at least one of them would come through. At least one of them HAD to come through.
But nothing. It was too late.
I had sold the duplex, the house went through escrow. We were all moved in. You were buying new furniture.
We had three shiny new cars sitting in the driveway.

Every day I held my breath, every minute, every second I waited for that phone to ring … for a voice at the other end tell me: Bill, we’ve struck oil. Or Bill, the diamond mine ... it’s even greater than we thought. One of those deals had to come through. But no … one by one they fell apart. And every month the mortgage, all the payments ... paying for my folks ... building building. Our friends, so happy for us. My clients, so impressed with our good fortune.
I couldn’t tell you about it.
I couldn’t tell anybody about it.
How stupid could I be?
Buying all this without having enough money to pay for it.
I had to do something.
I moved some money around.
I never played with money that wasn’t mine.
But I was so sure that at least one of those deals would come through.
But no. Noooo. God punished me for being a schmuck. Punished me for being a loser. And now what? Where would I come up with enough money to pay it all back?
I can’t bear it.
I can’t bear it.
I’m such a loser.
Such a goddamn loser.
You’d hate me.
You’d never look at me and love me again.
I couldn’t bear that, Lynn.
I couldn’t bear it.
I can’t bear it.

What a gorgeous day.
A beautiful day.
You’ll be all right, Lynn.
The cars are paid for.
Life insurance is paid for.

I tried, Lynn.
I moved you to California away from that furrier you were having an affair with. Yes, I knew about it. What? Just because he was your best friend’s father I shouldn’t be suspicious? He was a rich sophisticated European who thought you were the sexiest thing on two feet and you loved every minute of it. Oh Lynn... I could smell him in your smile for Christ’s sake.

I just couldn’t make you love me again, could I? (Takes a deep drag of his cigarette.)

I'll take a shower, put on my new silk suit, chug back a handful of sleeping pills, drive my Jag along Sunset to the beach and fly that baby straight off the pier.

(Takes another drag on his cigarette and then puts it out with his heel.)

Chicago was so flat.