There are people who burn so fiercely for the light that their vibration cannot be contained within the mundane.
I recently watched a movie called ‘Insignificance’. The story began by showing a movie star in a white dress standing over a street grating repeating take after take of having her dress blown upward by the hot air venting through the grating - finally to produce the famous shot that has since become an icon of pop culture. Afterwards, while being chauffeured back to her hotel, the actress instructed the driver to stop at a variety store where she proceeded to buy a toy car, a flashlight and other sundry items. She then directed the chauffeur to drop her off in front of a hotel where she knew that a famous physicist was staying.
It was 3am & the physicist was preparing for a conference to be presented next day. He invited her in without knowing whom she really was; he was naturally curious why this beautiful woman was knocking on his door at 3am. She proceeded to use the items to describe & explain his own theory of relativity. He was fascinated that she understood his thesis so well & furthermore that she could explain it so simply.
During this period, he was being harassed by the McCarthy Commission for fear his information might go to the Communists. After all, the nuclear attack on Japan was still fresh in the minds of many & fear was palpable. Meanwhile, here in his room is this beautiful young woman with the little girl voice cutting to the very simplicity of all this complex fear. He was perplexed.
She explained that she wanted to unite that which she knew intuitively with its logical foundation. She wanted the pain of her intuition to be anchored in logic. She wanted to join the two so that she may feel less alienated & alone. She wanted science to bring her in from the cold.
An angry knock comes to the door. It was her irate husband who had tracked her down. She allows him entrance only after he promised not to physically abuse the physicist. She explained to him that they were merely discussing the nature of time & relativity. He replied angrily, “At 4 am?” He complained that she never stays home, that she was forever sneaking off with different men, that it seemed to him that either she wanted to be with thousands at once or to be completely alone. He did not understand. He was a famous baseball star himself, also adored by many but he did not feel as she did. They mutually agreed that if she was to have a baby it might help to settle her down. He admitted that he was no match for her intellectually & that he knew that she found him boring. And so, in the innocence of his love for her he suggested that he would give up his career, stay home with the child & read books that she could quiz him on when she came home.
She wanted everything & nothing; the physicist & the baseball player; the yin & the yang. She wanted to unite her opposites to wholeness & she would not settle - could not settle! She was as the flying insect heading into the flame & there was no way that she could stop it. She was pure & she had no defenses. Finally, in absolute frustration the husband asked her, “What do you want, what do you really want?” She looked at him through the anguish & pain of her desolate tears & repeated, “I just want to go! I just want to go!”
what a wonderful twist on the sad story of a beautiful star and her brightly burming need to be accepted...oh that it could have been...
so glad i stumbled upon you and your 'brightly shining ' works....will continue to explore...pmedlin