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When Ginnie told me her story, I was in shock,
There were so many reasons to not like
Ginnie. She was selfish, vain,quirky,and so negative, among other things. Yet
I was her best friend. I couldn't desert her.
All my other friends thought me crazy to bother with her. My family too. I agreed with them many times, yet something always made me sustain the relationship even at its worst.
I told them it was the terrible way she was raised and used by her mother, that caused her to be as she is. They told me Ginnie was a grown woman, and should have gotten over it by now, having had children herself.
They don't understand that some kinds of abuse are imprinted so deeply in the psyche it may never be erased. It is an old tape that plays continuously.The best we can hope for is to overcome it by replacing the old tape with new ones.
Ginnie's, mother had three daughters and a son without a husband,and lived in a very poor section in Georgia. They lived in a shack, and the way the mother provided food was to exchange sex for it.
As her children grew older she used each one of them. Men would pay her to let them use her daughters for sex. Her son being the youngest lucked out as things changed before he was grown.
When Ginnie told me her story, I was in shock, having never heard of such behavior, first hand. I know that sounds
naive, but my childhood was so different and special, I couldn't conceive of this really happening , thinking it was mostly exaggerated stories, people told.
I decided to go with Ginnie when she asked me to visit her hometown with her.We went to Georgia for four days. Her mother still lived in a poor district, but in a modest one bedroom house. She lived alone. Everything was old and worn, but spotlessly clean.
Strange as it may seem, Ginnie was also a spotless housekeeper. Almost as if the outer cleanliness would make up for what was hidden within. It was very sad,but I did come to know Ginny spoke the truth.
We visited her older sister, the one her mom had started with. She was only five when her mother let a man have oral sex with her for food. I know these stories seem incredible,but believe me they aren't.
Not with many of the women who stay
prisoners to their past in the shacks they themselves were raised up, in the same way. A horrific cycle that continues in some places even today.Many know it happens in foreign countries but never realize it happens here in the USA.
I kept our friendship going in the hopes that Ginnie, who tried to break the cycle, would keep her own daughter from having to carry her mothers cross. I had slowly introduced her to the bible, and did lots of deep soul searching hours, in counseling with her.
When Ginnie settled down with one man for over a year, I knew I had made the right decision, in keeping our friendship going. She credits me with getting her to respect her body, and stop going out with every man she met. ( she met a lot)After so many abortions she didn't think she could have more children.
Ginnie was completely amoral, having been raised with no religion or any guilt about what she did. She had the filthiest mouth of any person, man or woman I had ever met. she knew more about evil too, it could be frightening.
It took a long time, but eventually the things I kept sharing with Ginnie, finally began to sink in. She learned to have
self-esteem, she never had before. She was a lovely woman to look at, and no one would ever have believed what she was like, until they got to know her.
Many years have passed , Ginnie is married, her children grown, she's a very compassionate caring woman who is very active in her community and enjoys a healthy happy life.
Ginnie lives in another state and we no longer see each other or communicate directly. I'm thankful to God for His having given her a new start. Life can be very rewarding when we remember that,
"There but for the grace of God go I"
Reader Reviews for
"Ginnie's sad sex story"
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|Reviewed by Abdi-Noor Mohamed (Eagle Of Hope)
|This is extremely sad and I hope Ginnie will share the experience with other women who desperately need help. And as the torch of hope is passed on from one woman to another God will keep rewarding you with his blessings. You are a guiding light to those hearts that have been plunged in a difficult situation by poverty and destitution. If such a thing is happening in America what would you think of other countries like Somalia where eating once a day is a lyxury only affordable by those with an income. GBQ|
|Reviewed by Jerry Engler
|I just have to echo what my good friend, Richard, says below, and add that I'm very glad you were there for Ginnie. I sometimes wonder about the other kids who were around me in school who sometimes led lives of quiet desperation while I was blessed with a wonderful family. I came to your site because of the review you gave me for my poem, Spatsie love, about the discovery of sex by a little boy. The value of you saying you found the poem whimsical and humorous is double now for me that I see what else you have confronted. It takes a very special person to face the seedy side of life, and then also see the innocence of it in a different situation. I have also loved your faith poetry and the display of Psalms at the beginning of your den. Blessings to you...Jerry|
|Reviewed by Ch'erie de Perrot
|Yes it happens...With monotonous regularity....
Ty for this Eileen, we all need to rouse to the knowledge that some childrens lives are a "Bloody Torment" I hate to use that expression..but nothing else really comes to mind!
God bless you
|Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan
|a beautiful and uplifting write-pwerful in the telling of resilience and kindness alike|
|Reviewed by Christiane Lindsay
|wow that is sad|
|Reviewed by Richard Orey
|I was surfing in the AD when I ran across this article and read it, then looked to see who had written it. I felt certain this writer really understood life. And wouldn't you know: E. T. Waldron! "O, I know this writer." A quick check and I found my review of your poem "Waiting." And my review comments there I incorporate here. This article about Ginnie opens the door for us all to not be so quick in our judgments of others. And for many of us, we're ill-equipped to judge at all since we really don't know the circumstances of life of others.
Once again, Eileen, you have brought to the forefront a powerful message. Yours is truly a den to linger in. So, now, I'll do just that.
Thank you for all the wonderful work you post.
|Reviewed by Randall Barfield
|Good story with a happy ending. The things we DON'T know in this world! Enjoyed. Cheers|
|Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson
|I read this story and was moved, you can do that well. An Angel you are to follow your inner voice your heart to help someone who everyone else have given up on
this is a beautiful story and testiment
|Reviewed by Taylor Ryan
|I discovered this featured story today Eileen , when I logged in. I read more poetry when I can than short stories, but I am so glad I took the time to read this one. Having your name on it had a lot to do with my choice to read it.
The story was beautifully written...frankly factual with the perfect amount of emotion and concern. Immediately it makes me count my blessings for my own childhood experience and good fortune, and weep for the ones who know no other way than your friend. How fortunate her llife to have you in it.
|Reviewed by Ronald Hull
|Thanks for sharing this with us. I started out in a one room shack with a 17 year old mother. But I had a father and a much better upbringing. It helps me to be more understanding--not of bad behavior--but of others' circumstances.
I've traveled the world. People will do anything to survive. Rich and powerful perpetuate the abuse by allowing it and using it to their advantage. There, but for fortune, go you or I.
|Reviewed by Huda Orfali
|She was lucky to have a friend like you
heart rending story
thanks for sharing
|Reviewed by Peter Paton
You did well putting this friend on the straight and narrow !
|Reviewed by Birgit and Roger Pratcher
|This was a very touching story, stirring the emotions. But, it fits you and your heart of gold!
Birgit and Roger
|Reviewed by P. Michaels
|She was blessed to have a friend like you, for you made a difference in her life. This is a wonderful story. It's great that you stuck by her and was her friend. You help her by showing her a better way to live and maybe even helped save her soul. You followed Christ's example.
|Reviewed by Ian Thorpe
|You know Eileen, this kind of thing has always been so very common. In Britain it used to be rife until after the 1939-45 war when a socialist government created the welfare state. Unfortunately the people who have run our country for the last 25 years have turned back the clock and we are hearing such stories again.
One of the architechts of the socialist system, Aneurin Bevan said "poverty of aspiration leads to poverty of spirit." You should use that - but only if you support Hillary Clinton for Prez next time because public healthcare is absolutely essential in a civilised country.
Give my best to Ginny.
|Reviewed by Poetess of The Soul Sheila G
|Hi Eileen- VEry nice of you to stay by your friends side, come what may! :) She must have felt very comfortable, and she had to have EArned your respect and trust! Remember this saying and it may explain your shortlived friendship- A REAson, A SEason or a LiFeTime and I too am a Direct believer of God gives us only what we can handle- he will direct your paths. Everything does happen 4 a ReAson, we don't know what they are. He knows and when the time is right,we may know too.. YOur reason for all you endured could be to help Others *( as you have ) in a BiG Way... Open their Eyezzzz.... Thank you 4 this... as Sad :( as this life had to be. YOu were a good nurturer for her- she felt SAFE! Pat on the Back for your Patience with all around you and who was knocking her down.|
|Reviewed by Sandra Mushi
|I'm a very strong believer that everything happens for a reason and that He never gives us what we can not handle - such your meeting Ginnie and helping her through this horrific ordeal.
God bless you Eileen,
|Reviewed by m j hollingshead
|well done : writing and counsel|
|Reviewed by Carole Mathys
|A very haunting, sad write on a subject so many never want spoken out loud....you were a true and inspiring friend Eileen!
Peace and love, Carole
|Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
|Powerfully told, achingly felt; an excellent story. Somehow, I have a feeling this is not based on fiction--the emotions are too strongly detected in your painful retelling.
((((HUGS)))) and love, Karla. :(
|Reviewed by Betty Torain
|What a sad story, you are right. By the grace of God there go any of us. I love the ending God is faithful, He always meet us where we are. Thanks Eileen Alrisha. From the mother of the Universe.|
|Reviewed by Tami Ryan
|Amen. It happens right here in our own back yard. Thanks for speaking out, Eileen.
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|OMG this is so heartbreaking....but thank God for a friend like you she made it!!
Thanks for sharing eileen!!
|Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
|such a disturbing tale you have told here, eileen; but one that needs to be told. you have done a very good job with this story; outstanding write!
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :(
|Reviewed by Kate Clifford
|The sad thing is this really does happen. I feel the parent needs to be charged for such an offense, but also the person that has paid for it. The child given a new home.