In every situation there is something you can celebrate.Life is one big celebration because of that because even seemingly negative experiences bring wonderful lessons that add spice to the journey

Everyday at a flower shop you meet different people, and get to life just a moment of their life as they buy that bouquet of flowers from you. You meet all kinds of people; some looking for beauty, some looking for something that makes the message easier to pass along, others looking for forgiveness in nature. But sometimes you meet a different kind of person that gets you thinking and brings new appreciation for symbolism of a flower. Such was the day when Anna walked through the door into my flower shop; she wore a face like a little gal excited about something new she just discovered. My guess at this point was she was in love. Standing in the corner looking at some baby breath I try to guess her age and settle on 22. I walk up to her and say hello, the face that looked up surprises me.......Its not one that of some striking beauty but one that speaks of such resilience and calmness of victory and that I say is beautiful. "Are you looking for anything special?" I asked and she answers "yes I want the most beautiful bouquet of flowers ever created" I smile and say well you would need a whole garden Typical of us florist I want to know what the occasion is, and who this flowers are for? They are for me, now she looks up at me and seems to drift away as if to tell her story from a more comfortable place. You see today I celebrate the day of my re-birth. Re-birth. What do you mean? Today is the third year since I lay in my bed and took the decision that there was too much of living I wanted to do to die. That decision started me on a new life; different way of living and continues to hold on till now and so I celebrate my second birthday. I was sick, a disease that started in the mind. I wanted to to die and in the beginning didn't even realize it myself. I just kept getting into this situations and trends that would totally destroy me. I was scared of life more than I was of death. I would move from one bad habit to another....Alcohol, anorexia, drugs, dysfunctional relationships. Then one day iI tried to get up and couldn't bring myself to, I didn't want to get out of bed.......... And the next day I didn't get up and didn't eat anything. Living alone no one realized what was happening until after a week without seeing me either at office or out at the parties. By then I was fully into a acute depression, I had not moved in three days not beyond the bathroom.......I lay in a stuffy room and had started to be delusional. They took me to the hospital and I went into psychiatric ward for two weeks, I still had enough sense in me to know how to pretend to be OK. I didn't want to be there. According to doctors, it was mild depression. Two days after I was released from hospital I was back in my bed not moving and not talking to anyone. I had my medication so everyone thought, she will be OK, let not pressure her. Two weeks later it becomes too much for them to bear and again I went back into the hospital this time I had to go through counseling; they wouldn't let me out until I started to talk. It took a month before I could, and even then I wasn't sure what to say. All I knew is I had to speak to get out of that place, I didn't belong there. Still they didn't let me go. One day sitted among other patients one of the doctors was doing his usual rounds and he decides to come and talk to me. I watch him walking towards me and think 'he is not my doctor why is he coming towards me'. He says hello pulls a chair and sits next to me. I didn't respond, but he starts to talk about his day and how tired he was and how he wished he could curl up and rest, go to sleep. That is what I want to do, I scream in my head, but you people wont leave me alone. He went on then asked me if I had worked before to which I say yes, did you like it? No. How long did you work in that company? 5 years. Why couldn't you stop? because I was scared I couldn't start again. What am I saying and why am I saying this to him? Even as I ask myself this I feel myself opening up. Needing to say more, but I stop. Am not the kind of person who is scared, or afraid. why would I be scared. I was just waiting for the right moment. When I would get something that matched what I had....but what I had was not good. I didn't like it. so why do I not want to go and change.......what if I don't get what I want, what do I want anyway? Why the fuck had I talked to this doctor, why couldn't I silence my mind. What I have now is what I want, it has to be? Am happy, I have to be happy with what am doing? will get used to it later. I curl up in bed and try to sleep but my mind wont stop, I have thousand of questions running through my head now. Do I live my life according to me or other people? If this is not what I really want how do I find out what I want. Am feeling tired, but I cant sleep, I start to cry. twelve hours later am still crying and the night nurse decides maybe its time for a sedative. I sleep not restfully but I sleep all the same. Seeming startled Anna, looks at me and at her watch and realizes she has to go.......She picks up some baby breath, pink fuschia, white lilies, red roses and asks me to pack them for her. I remark about how strange the selection and she says roses for love; white lilies a new life; fuschia for beauty and freshness and babybreath ......delicacy of life little moments. I never got to hear the rest of the story but I imagine that laying in that hospital bed Anna had found answers that surprised her and has had to fight to create this new life she celebrates. Well happy second birth to everyone who can stand and say that used to be me........