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Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
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Recent stories by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
The Others
Karen Lynn's Story: Johnny's Jottings: Crawfish Festival, 2008
A World of Hurt
Ronee's Loves
Venkatesh Arjuwal: Journal Entry, THOSE EYES
Mom, Don't Make Me Go
MRI, A Hospital Horror Tale (Part the Second)
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A Survivor's Story: Brown Recluse Envenomation
A Survivor's Story: Necrotizing Fasciitis
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MRI, A Hospital Horror Tale (Conclusion)
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           >> View all 25
Arthur Itis
By Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Last edited: Wednesday, June 05, 2002
Posted: Saturday, June 01, 2002

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My name is Arthur.

Arthur Itis.

I have a story to tell about how I met this woman and how we've come to establish a permanent relationship. (It suits me fine, doesn't thrill her too much...too bad, I'm here to stay!!)

I'd had a chance encounter with a young woman in 1985 and decided to make my move, unbeknownst to her. (I'm sneaky that way.) She didn't find out about me until June of 1986; by then, I'd moved in and had secured a flat. There was no way I was planning on relocating...except from one flat to anther in the same complex; I rather enjoy the accomodations at this one.

She'd injured her back in 1983. Surgery cured her, until she reinjured it a year later. Clumsy thing...doesn't she know that when she was the weakest, I'd move in permanently??

So, I took up residence and established a home. I first settled in her back, then decided to try out the hips, knees, feet, then moved to the upstairs flats--neck and shoulders.

I interrupt her sleep at night. I cause one or more of her joints to "lock up" (that's what SHE calls it, anyway), instantly awakening her with sharp, stabbing pains. She can't get comfortable. During the day, I cause throbbing, aching pains in her joints (and have gotten some of my friends, Burr Sitis and Digenera Tive Disc DiSease) to move in as well.

She takes Naproxyn to quell the storm (for the pain), but all it does is calms us down for a little while. When the Naproxyn wears away, we come back twice as strong. Ha, Ha...she can only take one pill every twelve hours!!


 

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Reviewed by Andrew Ellis 9/17/2007
My grandmother lived with us and I was her favorite grandchild.She always spoke about "Arthur". I had a brother Arthur and an uncle Arthur (her son) and she had arthritis. Listening to her phone conversations kept me confused about these "Arthurs" until I was half grown. Thanks for reviving my old memories.
Reviewed by Missy Cross 8/1/2007
HAHAHAHA

How is it that jerk manages to maintain soooo many residences at once? Without paying taxes...

This is a good one! Thanks for the laugh.
Reviewed by Steve Chering 5/13/2007
Perfect story.I can relate to it in many ways. Having ran up and down a ladder for over 20 years you can imagine the aches and hurts most nights.But we carry on huh? now at 52 I walk up and down the ladder,ha,ha not because I cant, but because it is the best thing to do now. But my love is now..writing.I absolutely love it. And I absolutely loved your piece. Steve,
Reviewed by MaryGrace Patterson 4/14/2007
A DIFFERENT LOOK AT AN OLD PROBLEM.....M
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 3/21/2007
good message
Reviewed by A PAX 10/6/2004
too bad he cannot be evicted!!!
like with a court order or something!! darn!
Reviewed by Pier Tyler 7/27/2004
He sneaked in via my knees...
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 6/3/2002
A rather humorous outtake on a common heath ailment (i should know; YOU shared Arthur Itis with me!). great job, karla! love, your twinkie. (((HUGS)))

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