Yes, I know that feeling. The first time I felt it, I was six-years-old. I lived in my own world of make-believe. There I did whatever I wanted, and I felt special. It was my ‘me and you world’.

I had spent half of my life with only my mother and then, my dad came home from the war. Next, a new baby sister came. No one had much time for ‘me‘. I walked to church and to school alone. I was expected to keep my mother informed of all current events from school and church, which was especially hard for me to do while living in a make-believe world. Not only that, I couldn't discern which bits of news were important and which were not.

One day my Sunday school teacher let us pull names out a box. I had no idea why. I took the name home, but didn't know what to tell my parents. The name was soon lost and forgotten. Christmas trees went up at school, church and at home. Everyone seemed excited and secretive, but I hardly noticed. My make-believe world kept me busy and fulfilled all my needs.

I took my time walking two miles to school. When it snowed, I would slide my lunch bucket along the snow banks and dream of my special make-believe friends and places. By the time I arrived, I would see all the other children busy with their assignments. I would enter and take my time removing my boots and wraps.

Then one cold blistery day I arrived at school early, and my teacher watched me get out of a car that did not belong to my parents. As soon as I entered the one room school building she asked, "Who brought you to school, Patty?"

"I don't know, Teacher. He was a very nice man, though."

After school, my teacher called my mother. My parents soon learned that a neighbor drove me to school, but I did not know him as a neighbor. Believe me that fellow did nothing but pick me up and drive me to school. However that night I received the first and only paddling that I could ever remember from my father.

Dad said, "Not all people are nice. If you get into cars with people you don't know, someday you may get hurt. Don't ever to get into a car with anyone unless we say it is okay. I didn't completely understand, but I didn't get in a car with anyone after that.

Then that fateful day came when everyone brought gifts to church and put them under the tree, but I didn't have one to put there. I didn't expect a gift. Nevertheless I received one. I felt thrilled with my gift. It was a lovely set of play dishes. I felt thrilled to get them, but then I noticed that another child did not receive anything. I remember I walked home feeling a mixture of joy for myself and sadness for that other child.

"Mom, why did I receive a gift and another child did not?



Her mother replied, "Did your Sunday school teacher give you a name and tell you to give to me?"

"Yes, Mommy, but I didn't know what it was for and I forgot."

"That's why that child didn't receive a gift. You were supposed to give that name to me so I could buy a gift. If I had known you would have had a gift to put under the tree with that child‘s name on it. Then that child would have not have gone home without a gift."



I haven't ever forgotten that child. To ease my guilt, I've tried to make excuses by saying, how I was suppose to know about gift-exchanges. After all, I was six years-old. I had no older brothers or sisters, and I went to church by myself.

Back then, I wondered why I was paddled for accepting a ride when it felt good to get out of the cold and into a warm car. However, I trusted that my father knew about things that I did not know, and I grew up trusting him. When I grew older, I learned that there was also another Father, who knew more than his children, who gave all of us the Ten Commandments. If we disobey them, then we will suffer the consequences.

I also learned not to place myself first. It isn't ‘me and you‘, but ‘you and I, equal'. If what I desire will hurt you, I will not pursue or engage in it. Also, if it is for just one moment to fulfill my own selfish desire or desires, it will not be worth the consequences.