The aroma of pastries traveled on to the sidewalk in Newport, Rhode Island.  Children pressed their hands against the glass cases of the candy shop. There were a few families walking past the quaint shops in town while the fresh, salty air tickled everyone's faces. Out on Bellevue Avenue that morning there were a few landscapers trimming the bushes while some of the other workers swept the driveway and porch at Mrs. Astor’s Beechwood Mansion. The plush, emerald green lawn met the sky-blue waters and the branches of the trees swayed in front of the beautiful arches of the mansion.  It seemed like a typical day in Newport, Rhode Island. However, it was Mimi’s wedding day in Newport. She took me on a journey back to her wedding day in 1979. Mimi’s father, Joe, and mother, Nymph, and the rest of the Barbera, Giardinelli, Lucchese, and Dado families were fixing their hair, and slipping into their wedding finery.  The men straightened their ties and waited patiently for the wedding ceremony to begin. Mimi walked through the mansion slowly on the shiny, hardwood floors, through the ballroom toward the lawn overlooking the ocean where everyone was assembled. Both sets of grandparents preceded Mimi down the aisle, first Mary and Ralph Barbera then Lena and James Dado, assisted by Mimi's Aunt Rosalie. Then both Joe and Nymph walked their daughter down the aisle. Although Mimi is now divorced, she remembers Mrs. Astor's Beechwood on that day and that her parents were happy that she married a man who was able to provide her with a good life. They had two beautiful children, Ali and Adam, who are Mimi’s most precious gifts in her life. Also, Mimi was grateful that she was able to have a close relationship with her grandparents until she was in her 30’s.

We looked out the window and noticed the puddles forming on the Post Road in Westport, CT. As we drank our coffee, Mimi’s Sicilian eyes radiated so much love for her family, appreciation of Italian culture, and the gift of creativity which she inherited from her family.  Although Mimi’s parents were born in America, her paternal grandparents were born in Italy.  Mimi talked about her travels through Italy, and I was able to see the shoreline of Sicily in my mind.  The waters of Sicily caressed the jagged rocks of Sicily while Mimi’s paternal grandfather, Raffaele (Ralph) Barbera, and grandmother, Maria (Mary) Giardinelli-Barbera came to America in 1924.  Raffaele was from Granmichaele, Sicily, located near Palermo.  Her paternal grandmother was from Catania.  Her maternal grandparents were born in the United States. Rosario Dado, her grandfather became known as James because when he enlisted in the U.S.Army at 15 the clerk couldn't spell 'Rosario', so 'James' was substituted. Mimi’s maternal grandmother, Angelina (Lena) Lucchese-Dado was born in New York City.

Mimi’s passionate, Sicilian eyes widened as she spoke from her heart. While I listened to Mimi’s words, I heard the sound of the doorbell ringing back at her parents’ house and the voices of her grandparents saying “Mimi, come here, I want to give you a hug!” Mimi said, “I was the first grandchild in my family.” Her grandparents fussed over her and expressed their love and affection for her. As Mimi talked about her grandparents, I envisioned all of the toys that her grandparents had given to her. Mimi really was the apple of her grandparents’ eye.  One Easter, they had given Mimi a rabbit, which Mimi named “Peter.” She gently petted the rabbit and took care of it.  She opened the door after school and could not wait to see Peter.

One day, the family decided that Peter would have a better life on her cousin’s farm. Although Mimi was attached to the rabbit, she knew that Peter would have an opportunity to enjoy the beautiful farm, roll on the long blades of grass, and nibble on fresh carrot sticks. She wanted Peter to roam freely in the country.  One afternoon, Mimi sat at her cousin’s house with her hands folded on her lap. Mimi was a well mannered child and waited patiently for the food to be served. Once in a while she fussed with her dress. Her eyes lit up when the plates of pasta were served. “I thought the pink sauce tasted a little funny, but I never really questioned it,” Mimi said. Suddenly, Mimi’s cousin said, “Remember Peter? Well, you are eating him.”  Of course, it was mortifying for Mimi to be told that she was eating Peter.  It reminded me of the chickens at nonna’s house. I had a relationship with those chickens when I was a kid. I would stroke their white feathers and I even named them, Ralphie, Rinaldi, and Pasquale.  Every night, I would close the door of the chicken coop at 8:00pm, and then I would go with my grandfather to open the chicken coop early in the morning during my visits.  One day, my nonna served fresh chicken and vegetable soup. I picked up the big spoon and just started to taste the soup when my mother told me the chickens were juicy and fresh. Oh no! I knew what that meant! I was eating Pasquale and Ralphie! Tears poured down my face!  I was able to relate to Mimi's memory!

Mimi’s family, just like many other Italian American families had a creative way of fixing things.  “We had a multi-tiered garden that was about four feet from ground level. My Mom knew exactly how she wanted a staircase built to reach the garden, but an uncle, who was a mason, had his own ideas." As a result, the steps were never built. “We had to use wooden milk cartons as steps to access the garden!” Mimi said. . I laughed because it reminded me of the creative way my papa had built me a seesaw. He used a concrete block in the middle and a long, wooden plank. It worked the same way as a regular seesaw, but mine looked different from everyone else's in the neighborhood.

“What else do you remember about your family?” I asked Mimi.  She said that she remembers the aroma of her grandmother's kitchen and still loves everything produced in her mother's kitchen. It is a memory etched in her heart forever, especially the scent of pasta with sardines, fennel, anchovies; a brown sauce with raisins which filled the air! I envisioned Mimi getting up on her tip toes, grabbing the big wooden spoon, and tasting the sauce. “I ate the sauce right from the pot!” Mimi said. Sometimes she nibbled on arancini (fried rice balls).  However, her Italian American memories do not end there. It is more than the food.” My father is a talented artist; he can draw, paint, sculpt and construct anything. He has amazing natural abilities.”

Mimi’s brother, Joseph, loved to cook! He pushed the metal step stool across the floor. Joseph tried not to make any noise, but the stool squeaked as he moved it toward the stove. The scent of the gas stove traveled through the house as Joseph opened up the kitchen cabinets. He poked his head into the cabinets as he searched for a spatula. He stared at the rubber handle and then slowly placed the butter on the bottom of the pan to make scrambled eggs.  Just as Joseph put his plate on the counter and the silverware rattled inside of the drawer, he heard the sound of his mother’s slippers on the kitchen floor as she said, “What are you doing at this hour? “uh oh,” Joseph thought, “I am in trouble!”  Mimi said, “My brother knew how to cook at a young age.”   The eggs, butter, and spatula were lying on the counter, and Joseph looked up at his mother with innocent eyes as he said, “I am hungry so I am making myself something to eat!” Joseph’s love for cooking continued throughout his adult life as he owned several restaurants.

Mimi said that her “riches” are the love that her parents, grandparents, and relatives had shown to her throughout her life. She said, “My parents are the best parents and they gave me the riches of the world; music, art, and cultural heritage.  Although Mimi carries on many of the traditions, some of the roles changed in her own family. Mimi and her children always cooked together and when necessary the children were capable of preparing dinner and having everything ready when she arrived home from a late day of work.

Mimi is a successful interior designer, and the owner of Mimi’s Designs, Inc. in Fairfield County, CT. She is proud of her successes and attributes her creativity to her ancestors, who were lacemakers, designers, instrument makers, and musicians. Mimi remembers her grandmother, Lena (Angelina), sitting on her favorite chair while she sewed clothes and crocheted.  “My grandmother Lena was a stunning woman, who stitched the finest pleats and was capable of doing anything. Lena was humble and sweet. My other grandmother, Mary, was tenacious and had a great sense of humor. Both grandmothers enjoyed cultivating flowers and had beautiful gardens. I think of them when I work in my garden." Mimi smiled and told me that “Both grandmothers were seamstresses and worked together.” They introduced Mimi’s mother, Ninfa (which translates as Nymph in English) to her father, Joseph.

Mimi’s passion flowed from her heart as she spoke about being an interior designer and owner of Mimi Designs.  She said that “Every day is different and each day there is a new challenge as I take on a new project. I love being challenged by my work and innovations, trends, and technology.  I asked her, “How do you know what a client is going to like?”  She said that “she always spends time getting to know her clients, what is important to them, what they feel comfortable with." For example, if it is new construction, she looks at the current home to get an idea of her clients' tastes and styles. It is a process and an evolution.  All of her Italian relatives’ talents flow into every vein in her heart each day.

“Did you ever travel in Italy?” I asked.  Mimi said that she had traveled from Northern to Southern Italy. On one trip to her great uncle's home in Catania she remembered that each of her relatives had a job to do when she arrived at the house. “One opened the shutters in her room, while the other pulled out the crisp, white, linen sheets; another fluffed her pillows for her and placed the comforter on the bed. Everyone fussed over Mimi. That memory will last forever. 

On that same trip, one afternoon, Mimi grabbed her purse and put on her comfortable shoes for a trip to a jewelry store owned by a friend of her great uncle.  The coral beads, silver and gold bracelets were neatly on display against the red velvet pads in the cases.  She will always remember the charming man in Catania, as he looked at her and said, “Mimi, your eyes could stop every clock in Catania!” We both laughed and agreed that Italian men know just the right thing to say to a woman.

Mimi told me that she felt at home while she traveled through Venice.  I was able to envision Mimi riding in a gondola and admiring Venice.   I remember the exquisite architecture, feeding the pigeons, and the way the wind felt as I rode in the gondola.

Mimi is a caring, honest, warm, intelligent and cultured woman with finesse and style.  Although she is passionate about her career as an interior designer, her priority has always been her children, Ali and Adam.  She leaned across the table and showed me pictures of her children. They have her Sicilian eyes. I think her son can be on a billboard for soccer cleats or sportswear, while her daughter can be a model for Armani Code perfume. 

It had stopped raining and I was getting ready to drive home. As I looked out at the Post Road in Westport and noticed a family buying ice cream across the street, I asked Mimi, “What is your message to your kids in regard to Italian American traditions?" She said, “Most importantly, keep family as your focus; give yourself to your children.  Have fun with your family, share your day, your meals, your happy moments and your challenges. Keep our family recipes alive, preserve and cherish all of the beautiful things our family made. Take your children to Italy. And remember, that when I am not here look into each other's eyes, and you will find me.”

During my ride home, I thought about how fortunate I am to hear about the ways in which Italian Americans stay close to their roots and appreciate their culture.   Sometime, the funniest and simplest memories are etched in our hearts.  We will always keep our traditions burning inside of our hearts.  If I could choose a song which explains my perception of Mimi, it would be the Helen Reddy song," look how much I have gained, if I have to, I can do anything, I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman."   Although she is a modern woman, she keeps her traditions alive and realizes the riches that matter most are love of family, culture and preserving our heritage.

 I look forward to seeing Mimi again, and meeting her parents. I am sure they have great stories to tell.