____________________________________________________________________

Due to Barbara’s, in my opinion, overwhelming family responsibilities along with the physical distance, to say nothing of our, in my opinion, overwhelming age difference, I know our love can never be more than here, more than now.

I’m an odd duck for a man.

I miss being married.

I miss the warmth of a sleeping woman alongside me.

I do not like coming home to an empty house.

God knows what I would do without, at least, my best friend, my dog to come home to.

I love the emotion of “Chick Flicks” even if, and maybe especially because, occasionally, they cause me to cry.

If I were to say, “Barbara come with me!”

Cyber Affair 14

Day Two - 4

Saturday June 18, 2009

Poetry

 As we all must do what our conscience dictates, she would not, nor would I expect or want Barbara to leave her sister and mother nor her other moral responsibilities anymore than Helen, in clear conscience, could throw the drunk out.

Let me say that, due to Barbara’s reluctance to let me see a current picture of herself,  I had the feeling that it was due to the fact that she was... Yes, I actually pictured Barbara as obese and when I saw her at the airport yesterday – was it only yesterday – Looking at my watch: 1:53. Not even a day. Further thinking, When I saw her at the airport I though she was attractive, pretty in fact,  now... Looking to my right, looking at Barbara in profile...

Sensing my eyes on her, turning her head, “What?” she whispered.

Crooking my forefinger, she brought her ear to my mouth... When I saw her at the airport yesterday, I thought she was attractive, pretty in fact, now...

Whispering in Barbara’s ear, “I think you’re beautiful!”

                                                                    ****

Late afternoon, about thirty-five minutes from calling it for the day...

“Barbara Longford!”

 “Oh, God!” she gasped.

Standing to let her pass, “Barbara, you’re beautiful,” I whispered, kissing her cheek. “Go on, baby. You’ll do great!”

Indeed looking beautiful dressed in a youthfully designed, knee length, light tan linen suite, brown blouse and brown and white, two inch heeled shoes, taking my seat again, I watched as she crossed the room to walk the three steps onto the stage.

Nervously attempting to smile, “Good afternoon,” nodding to the audience of her peers.

Now looking at the three judges, “I want to thank you for this opportunity.”

Closing her eyes, collecting herself a moment:

               “Can You Hear Me, God?”

Opening her eyes, looking straight forward:

            “Good morning, can you hear me, God?

                  I know you are very busy,

                  but I was so cold last night and I

                  want to know if you could send

                  an angel down to bring me an extra

                  blanket?”

The modulation of her voice low at first, but now gaining confidence...

                  “It’s not just for me, I have this

                   little friend who crawls under my

                   cover sometimes and he

                   is so cold too.

                   I call him Charlie, but

                   you already knew that

                   And God, if you know anyone that needs

                   a little boy, and I’m a good little boy,

                   please send them to me. I’ve been

                   waiting so long for a mommy and

                   a daddy.”

Looking about, I see that most of the audience are sitting a bit straighter in their seats watching, and listening to my Barbara

.

                   “I wish that I had a real home and a

                   real family that would love me. I

                   promise to always be a good boy

                   and I’ll eat whatever food they give

                   me and keep my room clean and

                   take baths when I have to.”

Watching closely, I notice that Barbara’s eyes remain steadily looking outward, towards the audience.

                   “And God, if you send me a mommy

                   and a daddy, can you make sure

                   that they will love Charlie, too? He

                   is very small, even for a mouse, and

                   he doesn't eat very much,

                   but you already knew that.

                   Thank you, God. I mean, Amen.”

Great! I thought as...

As though afraid clapping for another contestant might diminish audience appreciation for the recital of their own poetry, now came polite clapping, however...

        Great! I thought as, clapping loudly, “Yea, Barb!”

         Waiting a few seconds for everything to settle down:

        “As both poems are on the longer side,” Barbara said, “I’ll only recite two today.”

        Closing her eyes once again... now opening her eyes...

                                  “Thirst”

            Barbara looked at me, at only me...

                               “I crawled into an untidy bed,

                                 curled my bare body to his

                                 and lay still

                                 until his breath was

                                 at my back,”

          She  looked into me...

                                “a soft tongue cooling

                                 the sunburned skin

                                 on my neck,

                                 my round bottom pushing

                                 closer and closer into the curve

                                 of his body.”

         Barbara's eyes saw to my soul, and my tears came...

                                “Spread fingers walked

                                  the length of me,

                                  chilled skin rising in ovation.”

            Our eyes unwavering, her tears coming, hesitating, suppressing a sob...

                                 “His warm hand skimmed

                                   over the curve of my hip

                                   to a waiting well–his fingers

                                   tickled the surface and dipped

                                   long into the warm waters

                                   and he spoke close to my ear

                                   words he had never spoken,

             Halting a moment to bring her voice and emotion under control.

                                  “indescribable things

                                    said only between lovers,

                                    and turned my body to his.”

            Those about now looking from her to me: sensing our love, feeling the sadness...

                                 “ “Shhh, not a word”, he said,

                                      and took a cool sip

                                      then plunged

                                      the depths of the well

                                      until –

                                      all thirst was quenched.”

        Our eyes locked, unashamed, her tears, my tears, our tears ran.

        Silence!

        Silence...The room silent.

To be continued

©March 17, 2012 / Mark M. Lichterman

 Poetry with permission of Elizabeth J. Russo