Join Free! | Login 

   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: Armineh Ohanian, iByron Edgington, iAlbert Russo, iJerry Engler, iMichael Charles Messineo, iChrisTopher Stone, iEdward Patterson, i
  Home > Humor > Stories
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Mark M Lichterman

  + Follow Me   

· 1,765 titles
· 5,371 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
Member Since: Jun, 2008

   My Blog
   Success Story
   Contact Author
   Read Reviews

· Becoming

· For Better or Worse

· The Climbing Boy

Short Stories
· BK1: Becoming; 1944#5

· BK1: Becoming; 1944#4

· BK1:Becoming;1944#3

· BK1:Becoming;1944#2

· BK1: Becoming; 1942#2&1944#1

· BK1:Becoming;1942 # 1 (Xrated)

· BK1: Becoming; 1941#2

· BK1Becoming: 1941 #1

· BK1:Becoming; 1940#3

· BK1: Becoming:1940#2

· A Jewish Boycott

· Betrayal in Benghazi

· Did You Know?

· The 2000 Year Old Man

· Social Security History

· Lost C. Burnett Skit


· J. Carson as R. Reagan

· The Pale Blue Dot

· Listen Old Timers

· Really, What If

· Words, I Need Words!

· Sex Now

· Smoke in The Wind

· Young

· Elderly Woman

· As Man And Woman

· Without A Woody?

· Nostalgia

· A Near Christmas Day

         More poetry...
· For Better or Worse now on Kindle

· Becoming Video Trailer

· Book Fair. Who's coming?

· Article in Ventura County Star 8/17/08

Mark M Lichterman, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

Books by Mark M Lichterman
Nude, Night, Naughty 4
By Mark M Lichterman
Posted: Monday, July 30, 2012
Last edited: Saturday, August 04, 2012
This short story is rated "PG13" by the Author.
Share    Print   Save   Become a Fan
Recent stories by Mark M Lichterman
· The Midnight Skulker40
· BK1: Becoming;1944#7
· BK1: Becoming: 1944 # 6
· BK1: Becoming; 1944#5
· BK1: Becoming; 1944#4
· USO Dance: Chris
· Sunset
           >> View all 957
Packing a “Subway” of a foot-long for him and a half foot-long for her, along with an ice packed “Igloo” containing four bottles of Corona along with an unpopped bottle of Pinot Gricio...

"Naughty 4" can be found following
"Naughty 3" ______________________________________



Nude-Night-Naughty 3 & 4


“Yeah,” you say, “but who’s interested in this real estate and finance stuff?”


Well, says I, I’m a writer and as a writer I must let you the reader know the “how” the “where” and the “why” and follow the sequence of events and the circumstances that caused and led up to the banning of, “senior citizen” Shannon Lynne and, “geezer” Mitchell Lipensky from Westlake Lake. Which, in thinking about it, as home owners paying monthly homeowners dues, they were part… admittedly a very small part of the owners of Westlake Lake.


Just a hint to hold your interest as – or if for nothing more than to appease my “writer” status, I’ll get into the “how” and the… Well you know what I’m talking about – Anyway, as a hint to hold your interest; the “senior citizen” and the “geezer” getting kicked off the lake did have a little… just a smidgen of sex involved.


That said…


During the recession of the mid to late seventies, when real estate interest rates were up to seventeen percent and as Mitchell Lipensky worked primarily with low end financial people whom, at this time, couldn’t qualify for a home, much less pay seventeen percent interest, his business nose-dived, and it nose-dived to such an extent that Marsha and Mitchell were forced to put their home on the market in order to save it from foreclosure.


Now along comes Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Westgarden who smelled a deal so,    “creative financing” in full swing: Through their broker, of course, the Westgardens offered ten thousand below the listed price – because part of their deal was – Because their daughter and her family would be in need of lovely house in a good neighborhood within a month, the Westgarden’s wanted a two week escrow and, they in turn, would pay all escrow and commissions. However… Big “however”, there would be no cash payment at the close of escrow because the present owners were asked to carry back an eighteen thousand – which, at the selling price, would be all of the money needed for the Lipensky’ to put down an another house, so – the Westgarden’ wanted an eighteen thousand “second trust deed” at 8% interest for three years.


“Let’s see,” said Mitchell to Marsha: Ten grand below “asking”. A two week escrow — which terrified Marsha — And, other than the full commission, after the broker’s share, of course, both ends of the commission his, the only money Mitchell, presently, would receive from the sale of his house was his end of the commission that, actually, when you think about it, was really his money after all.  


“So,” said Mitchell. “We’d better take it…”


“So,” answered his wife, “before the bank does.”


“What are we going to do?” Marsha asked after the initial Deposit Receipt signing. Where are we going to live?”


“Hmmm?” thought Mitchell. “I’ve an Idea.”


Okay, once again enter Mr. and Mrs. Alvin Berkowitz whom are presently going absolutely nuts at having to pay two, seventeen percent (17%) monthly payments, and so, calls are made by him twice-weekly to hear the progression of the sale of the Berkowitz townhouse – which wasn’t. No progression, that is – in lovely, though by now very far away, Westlake Village. California. And so…


“Hmmm?” thought Mitchell. “I’ve an Idea.”


“Yeah?” said his wife.


“How’d you like to live in Westlake Village?”


So, again, I ask: See where this is going?


Nude-Night-Naughty 4


So, okay, already, here’s what happened on that balmy summer night of August 12, 2008 when Mitchell Lipensky and Shannon Lynne were banned from Westlake Lake…


Packing a “Subway” of  a foot-long for him and a half foot-long for her, along with an  ice packed “Igloo” containing four bottles of Corona along with a unpopped bottle of Pinot Gricio, senior citizen Shannon Lynne and Geezer Mitchell Lipensky decided to take their boat out…


Hold on!! Boat? “Their boat?” Well, yeah! Guess there’s still some stuff to explain.


Yeah, I know! But I’ll try to keep it short, so…  


Immediately following the initial Real Estate Deposit Receipt signing in 1978; “Where are we going to live?”


“I’ve an Idea.” Mitchell said to his wife.


And, “Yeah?” said his wife.


“How’d you like to live in Westlake Village?”


Knowing about, “ ‘Berkowitz’?” she questioned.




“Yeah, I’d love to live in Westlake. But how? We can’t buy shit without a down payment!”


“Yeah, well, like I said: I’ve an idea.” Mitchell reiterated.


Within a half-hour, the copy of the Deposit Receipt for the sale of his house on his broker’s desk, “I want to make an offer on the ‘Berkowitz’ place,” Mitchell said, “but we've practically no money for a down payment,” slapping his hand onto the paperwork for the sale of his house, “because our moneys’ tied-up in ‘Westgarden’s’ second, so I need your help in putting a…” creatively financed, “deal together.” And…


Within another hour, on ‘long distance’, Mr. Berkowitz. Hi! It’s Mitch Lipensky.”


“Yeah, Mitch.” No longer believing, “you got anything?” Berkowitz asked dejectedly.


“Well, yes, I do. I do have an offer.”  


Not bothering to hold his hand over the receiver, “Honey,” he yelled, causing Mitchell to move the receiver from his ear. “It’s Lipensky and he has an offer!”


“Well,” once hearing muted duel breathing, “actually it’s me. My wife and me! We’re making an offer on your townhouse.”


Asked cautiously, “You?”


“Yes. Me and my wife.”


“Okay, go ahead. We’re, uh, Mrs. Berkowitz and myself, we’re listening.”


“We are offering to buy your house at the full listed price…” Hearing a sharp intake of breath, “However, we, my wife and I, will place one thousand dollars into Escrow and the deed of trust is to remain in your name, in escrow, for three years or, dependent upon my wife and myself, sooner. During this period, we will pay your P.I.T.I;  your principle, interest, taxes and insurance. However, including the thousand dollars held in escrow, we want one hundred dollars per month going towards our down-payment, which will be accredited at close of escrow. In the event we do not have financing…”— imagining the recession to be through by then — “…or for any reason we do not close escrow, we will forfeit our thousand dollars and whatever has accrued during the term of this escrow.” Taking a deep breath, he stopped speaking. 

Marsha and Mitchell moved into the house….


Marsha and Mitchell Lipensky moved into their new ‘home’ in Westlake Village – with but one thousand dollars held in escrow, actually paying less P.I.T.I. monthly than on their old house – in September of nineteen seventy-eight.


Burton and Shannon Lynne moved directly next door in December of nineteen-eighty.


So, can you see where this is going? Maybe.



To be continued

©July 30,  2012 / Mark M. Lichterman








Web Site:  

Reader Reviews for "Nude, Night, Naughty 4"

Want to review or comment on this short story?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Membership?
Click here to Join!

Reviewed by Laura Fall 8/2/2012
A Terrific story my friend and as always a very enjoyable read Laura
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 7/31/2012
Great story, Mark; well done!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Texas, Karen Lynn. :D

Popular Humor Stories
1. Better Late Than Never. ...
2. Duped Net: The Big Brawl
3. Poetic Injustice
4. Nude-Night-Naughty 6
5. The DMV Funnies
6. A Reluctant Father Christmas
7. Rose is dead
8. A Man and His Dog
9. Dealing With The Children. ...
10. Byron Luckipaw, the cat who established th

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.