Todd suddenly shouted, “Christ, I love this country! I can do whatever the fuck I want, and nobody will do a thing about it!” He stopped walking and faced Marvin. “Just imagine what would have happened if I’d pulled that stunt anywhere else in the world. Some goon would have been out the door immediately to kick the living shit out of me. But not in Japan. Nobody has the balls to do anything here. We have free reign to do whatever the hell we please.”

By this time, they had arrived in a livelier area of Susukino. The street on which they were walking was teeming with young couples. Todd suddenly said to Marvin, “Watch this.” Doing as he was told, Marvin watched as Todd approached a young man and woman who were walking toward them holding hands. He stood in front of them, effectively blocking their path. Silently, he first looked at the woman, and then directed his gaze to the man’s groin area. With his right hand, he formed a fist, and then slowly extended his thumb and index finger, placing them approximately one inch from each other. Still without saying anything, he looked again at the woman, smiled, and shook his head sympathetically. The couple looked at each other and said a few words in Japanese which Marvin was unable to comprehend. They brushed past Todd and hurried away. Todd turned to Marvin and grinned. “See, they won’t do a thing!” he crowed.

Marvin’s admiration for Todd increased even further. “That is hilarious! I’ve got to try that too.” Marvin spotted another couple coming from the opposite direction and followed Todd’s example. Similar to the previous couple, the young man and woman looked at each other, exchanged words briefly, and walked past him quickly. Although Marvin was unable to follow the conversation, he was able to make out a few words. The woman had clearly said hentai, and in response, it sounded as if the man had uttered kawatta mono. After he managed to stop laughing, Marvin asked Todd the meaning of the words.

“The chick called you a pervert, and the man basically said you were a retard,” Todd informed him. This seemed like useful vocabulary and Marvin stored them away in his mind for later use.

The two continued this activity for a while, laughing uproariously each time the couple they had confronted scurried away.

“You know every dude is going to be thinking about this later when it’s time to get it on,” Todd said. “And the girls will be too. I bet there are going to be a lot of disappointing performances tonight. We should come back here tomorrow night and make ourselves available for all these unsatisfied ladies.”

After a little while, Todd appeared to lose interest in belittling the size of the Japanese version of that which made one a man. “Let’s see if we can’t make things a little more interesting,” he said. He looked about, searching among the throngs in the street for someone who would best allow him to further test his theory of Japanese passivity. At length, he appeared to find a subject that met his requirements. The person in question was a woman who looked to be in her early twenties. Walking alone, she was carrying a purse in her left hand, and in her right she was holding a cell phone to her ear. Engrossed in conversation, she was paying little attention to her surroundings, and did not at first notice when Todd started walking alongside her, just off to her left. It was not until they had walked a good ten meters together that she became aware of the man at her side. Still on the phone, she glanced at Todd, a confused look on her face. Her brow furrowed as if struggling to recall if she had once made the acquaintance of the foreigner next to her. Coming to the conclusion that she had not, the look of puzzlement was quickly replaced by one of apprehension, and she started walking faster, only to see Todd match her pace step for step. Apprehension gave way to terror, and she increased her speed further, now moving at a brisk trot. However, she was unable to shake the man alongside her. Just as it appeared she was about to break into a full sprint, Todd suddenly thrust out his right leg in front of the frightened woman. Tripping over the leg, she sprawled forward wildly. Struggling unsuccessfully to regain her balance, she let go of her purse and phone, the latter of which flew through the air, landing several feet away with a crash. The contents of her purse spilled out onto the ground, joined by the woman herself a split second later. Stunned, she remained motionless for a moment, unable to comprehend exactly what had just occurred. At last, she slowly stood up and checked herself for scrapes. Discovering none, she collected the various fallen items and returned them to her purse. She walked over to where her phone was lying and picked it up. Miraculously, it appeared to still be in working order. Finally, steadfastly avoiding glancing at Todd, she staggered away. Todd looked at Marvin triumphantly.

“What can I say?” he said, “We can get away with anything in this country. She didn’t even have the nerve to look at me!”

Marvin said nothing for a moment. Finally, he gushed, “Dude, you are a legend. I bow down to you. I’ve pulled some crazy stunts in my day, but tripping random people in the street. That is just fucking awesome!” Shaking his head in amazement, he added, “And she just walked away without saying a thing. I can’t believe it.”

As a matter of fact, the woman’s response should have come as no surprise to Marvin. He had read about this very topic in The Land Be¥ond. In it, the author had explained clearly the Japanese distaste for conflict:

 

 

Todd’s actions merely confirmed the author’s point: the Japanese would do anything in their means to avoid conflict.

Delighted with his success, Todd scoured the people around him, looking for somebody with whom he could repeat his performance. This time, however, he said the unsuspecting victim should be male. “And,” he added excitedly, “it has to be somebody big. Huge, even. Just to show the women here that even their studs are no match for the foreigners.”

The search didn’t take long. In just a matter of moments, he spied a young man walking in their direction who appeared to fit his criteria. “There’s our man,” he said. “Come meet your daddy.”

Looking closely at the soon-to-be victim, Marvin thought that labeling him ‘huge’ was being perhaps a tad generous. He stood no more than five feet, ten inches, and his build, while not altogether slight, certainly would never be mistaken as Herculean. They watched as the man strode quickly past them, looking at his watch often, as if he had some business he was in a hurry to attend to.

“Hey, it would be cool if you could give him a wedgie or something,” Marvin called out as Todd hurried to catch up to the man.

Turning back briefly, Todd replied, “Grab the dude’s undies? Are you kidding me? I don’t bat for the other side.” He caught up to the man and proceeded to walk alongside him. Marvin watched, his anticipation increasing each moment.

Similar to the previous victim, the man glanced sidelong at Todd, and picked up the pace. And, just as before, Todd matched his every step. He waited a little longer this time, in order to build the suspense, and then once again thrust his leg out. The man tripped over the leg, and stumbled forward for about five meters before finally regaining his balance.

Although the results were not quite as spectacular as they had been with the young woman, Marvin burst into laughter all the same. Todd did as well, snorting so hard that tears came to his eyes. “Did you see the look on his face?” he said, the words coming out in gasps due to him laughing so uncontrollably.

“Fuck yeah, I did! It looked like he was going to shi—”

Marvin stopped abruptly in mid-sentence, and looked beyond Todd. Curious as to why Marvin hadn’t completed his sentence, Todd followed his gaze and turned around to see the cause of his friend’s sudden silence. He paled.

Unlike the first recipient of Todd’s prank, the man hadn’t walked away. On the contrary, he had approached Todd while he was in the throes of laughter and was now standing silently next to his tormenter. The expression on his face was of pure menace.

“Ok, wait a moment,” Todd stammered. “It was just a joke, you know. There was no harm—”

He was unable to finish the sentence because the man chose that moment to deliver a vicious swing that landed squarely on Todd’s nose. There was a distinct cracking sound, followed instantly by blood gushing out from both nostrils. Todd reeled from the impact, staggering backwards. The man followed closely, managing to land two more solid punches—one for each eye—before Todd collapsed to the ground. Lying there, he remained motionless, much like the woman he had tripped just a few minutes earlier, not making a sound save for a faint mewing. The man stood over him for a moment with his arms crossed. He looked at Todd scornfully, and finally crouched down as if to examine the extent of the damage he had caused. When he was just inches away from Todd’s prone body, he moved his face close to Todd’s, almost as if leaning in for a kiss. What he did, however, was something entirely less romantic. With almost pinpoint accuracy, he spat, the spittle shooting directly into Todd’s half open mouth. He then stood back up, turned around and walked away. Throughout the entire ordeal, he had not spoken a word.

During the course of these events, a considerable crowd had gathered. It stood in collective hushed silence for a full minute after the man had departed the scene. It was not until an attractive young woman, gazing in the direction the man had taken, blurted out, “Kakko ii,” that the spell was broken. Hearing the intensity in the woman’s voice as she spoke, Marvin made a mental note to ask Michael later the meaning of what she had said.

He turned his attention to Todd, who had managed to struggle to his feet, a dazed expression on his face. Although the bleeding had by now stopped, his nose was already nearly twice its normal size. In addition, the area around his eyes was showing signs of puffiness. Marvin surmised that they would both be swollen shut by the next morning. “Dude, are you all right?” he asked. “He smacked you around pretty good.”

“I think the fucker might have broken my nose,” Todd groaned. His voice had a distinct nasal quality to it. He touched his nose gingerly. “Fuck that hurts.” He looked at his shirt, forever stained with the blood from his nose. “I liked this shirt, too.” He coughed, wincing at the movement. “I’m going to have to get my ass to a hospital.” He looked at Marvin and blinked, struggling to focus. “Let this be a lesson to all of us,” he croaked. “Never turn your back on the Japs. They’re ruthless, and always looking for any excuse to go after the foreigners.” This statement seemed to contradict his previous comments about Japanese passivity, but Marvin decided now was not the time to point this out.

Todd said there was a hospital near his apartment that was open late. Fortunately, he lived near the Susukino area, so he could walk there from their present location. As they parted ways, Marvin offered words of sympathy: “He sucker-punched you, dude. No way he could’ve done it if you’d been ready. Typical Japanese.”