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Patrick A Granfors

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Marinating on my TV
By Patrick A Granfors
Last edited: Sunday, July 17, 2011
Posted: Friday, July 15, 2011



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Patrick A Granfors

• Best Onion Soup Ever
• Fabulous Eight Bean Soup
• Consequences
• Mighty Fine Stuffed Cabbage Rolls
• Phobos-Grunt Re-entry
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I give up

While watching my much anticipated new flat screen TV last night having waited for several years for prices to come down and for sizes to go up, not to mention the dizzying array of new features available requiring a rocket scientist to run the remote control especially since I don’t text message and have the dexterity of the average sloth as well as some of the physical attributes, it came to my attention that despite the crystal clear 1080-i HD 3D picture that the TV provided, the programming was pretty much the same and that the removal of the video haze with respect to my previous antique and, to said programming was pretty much analogous to trying to wash a dog turd and expecting it to become clean.

 

Not that the networks don’t try to entice you with clever special effects and the purported highly unusual filmed circumstances of reality television which has in fact become so common that I never realized how screwed up reality really is, and that the boundaries of fiction have become so blurred that the script writers all threw up their hands and left the subject matter to the incapable hands of anybody who happens to own a video camera and the laxative companies who have a direct interest in the outcome of the public’s seemingly infallible interest in a broad range of series that could only be loosely described as entertainment.

 

 

Programs such as beauty contests for exceptionally bratty toddlers who are driven by their ditzy neurotic mothers in pursuit of trinket awards after spending thousands dollars in entries and costumes. These are the same toddlers who in just a few short years appear on a different show where fat women try to choose a wedding dress as their idiot fiancées fight with the rest of the wedding party over whether or not the bride’s cleavage conflicts with her butt roll before storming off the set and onto the set of “Bridezillas” perpetuating the myth that a wedding is a happy occasion, which somehow gets lost in the glow of watching swamp people try to catch alligators and with people filling up their homes with 40 years worth of junkyard collecting and garbage lamenting the fact that the health department frowns on such behavior because it competes with the time that they need to stay two steps ahead of the fifteen different TV hosts pandering food prepared by food trucks, drive-ins, and ethnic restaurants serving goat eyes.

 

A profound wasteland has emerged, a vast litter box full of hard candy, although I suspect it was there all along just for the looking. I don’t know why I expected more.

 

 

 

Copyright 2011 Patrick Granfors

 

 

 

 

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Reviewed by Gene Williamson 9/8/2011
I suppose it can be said that tv programming is a reflection
of us. If so, we need help. Reality tv is--unreal. The best
way to beat the tube is to read a good book. -gene.
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 7/18/2011
I hear you, Patrick! We gave up cable a year ago on March 22/10...nothing but garbage on TV anymore....now we have only 3 channels and are still able to watch what very little programming we actually enjoyed. We spend way more time communicating and doing other things....can't STAND reality tv!!!!!!

Anna
Reviewed by Mark Lichterman 7/16/2011
And you can get all of this wonderful stuff in glorious three dimension. Or whatever there is of this stuff in 3D.
For the past five months I've been into nothing... well, hardly nothing but DVDs of HBO and Showtrime series. Presently into the first season of The Sopranos.
Mark
Reviewed by Lonnie Hicks 7/15/2011
So true. 500 channels and nothing on.
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 7/15/2011
Amen, and I say that in a most sacrilegious way. I got rid of the cable, don't own a round thing that goes outside and captures some kind of waves in the sky and sends them to my television. I do not miss it. I never watched a stupid "reality" show in my life, and the news media makes me vomit. Do I miss out on those amazing five million channels on cable? Does it sound like it? Our country is lost.
Reviewed by Paul Berube 7/15/2011
So very, very true, Patrick. Great article, my friend.
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