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NOTE; Much of the material/information in this article, has been obtained from the following;
1) The American MeatBall Association; (300 million US members); (tops in the world)
2) The National Society of Jerks; (200 million US members); Males have not cornered the market on being a JERK; there are plenty of female JERKS as well. (tops in the world);
There are three things certain in life...
3) An abundance of JERKS/MeatBalls around you for the rest of your life, to make your life miserable...
For our friends and neighbors around the world, who may not be familiar with these words, I will describe;
jerk; (description); naive; foolish; an inconsequential person;
meatball; (description); an awkward, clumsy or ineffectual person
"We don't have enough scientific research in finding a cure for jerks OR meatballs." Bill Watterson
BILL OF RIGHTS;
(for jerks and meatballs)
1) You have the right to act like a jack-ass and/or a horses-ass whenever you like;
2) You have the right to wear your multi-colorful beanie, with the propellor on top;
3) You have the right to be the biggest whiner and crybaby on the face of the Earth...regardless of your age;
4) You have the right to act a FOOL whenever the urge comes to you;
5) You have the right to display the attitude of your choice, whether the public likes it or not;
6) You have the right to be the most selfish person in the world...after all...isn't that what life is about?
7) You have the right to act like you're the smartest person in the world...when, in fact, the public knows differently.
8) You have the right to act like you're 'God's Gift To Women.'
9) You have the right to act like you're 'God's Gift To Men.'
10) You have the right, to act as if the entire universe revolves around YOU.
Trivia; For our friends around the world;
In America...a jerk is a joke...except, in the state of New Jersey...where a jerk is a joik.
"Anyone who dies with more than $1.15 to their name...is a jerk." Errol Flynn
I think psychologists have problems with these people...because they are so difficult to understand, etc.
And, finally...here in America, we all live in a country of choices...you're either a JERK or you're a MEATBALL...the choice is yours. (WHAT A COUNTRY)
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Copyright; 2013; Jerry Aragon; The Humor Doctor