UPDATE; May, 2013;
Traffic; To Authors Den (writing site); from August, 2006 to the PRESENT; 483,318

Back during the Stone Age of 2001, I wrote a screen play, which I thought was pretty good, but I guess nobody else thought so. The piece was entitled, "The Not So Excellent Adventure."  It was about 3 aliens from the planet Krouton, who came to investigate the Earth.  During that time, I wrote dozens of query letters, and chased agents all over the place, until I was blue in the face...but, NO MORE.  I won't go down this dismal road again...

Policy #1:
I will Not mail out any paper query letters; NO electronic query letters, either...For me, the day of reading guidelines is OVER...

I'm a veteran...and one day, I was at the VA Medical Center, for a doctor's visit.  I met with a social worker, who told me that he had written a book, and although he tried for years, he could not get it published in the United States.  So, he had to go out of the country, to get his book published.  If this happens to me, I'm not going to do this...

In 2013, there has to be a different and better way to do this in this electronic age...as I am NOT chasing all these people around, who call themselves agents; editors; publishers; and marketing experts, etc.  All we need here, is a hand-ful of vice-presidents of something...(scary, eh?) 

Policy #2; I refuse to chase literary agents and publishers all over creation, until I'm blue in the face...and get nothing for my efforts...

WORK IN PROGRESS...

MAY, 2013

All four of my books contain the following;  interesting; imagination; taking chances with ideas; created a style of my own;  written from the 'horses mouth,' (experience);  If I tell the reader, that I've come face to face with death...after suffering a stroke...I can tell you (from experience) that I've been there...I've done that...

Interesting:  If a person reads a newspaper or magazine article or goes to see a movie, he or she must find it interesting...or they will find something to do. 

Years ago, during the Stone Age, when I came online, and after being in the humor business for over 50 years, I knew there would be plenty of humor. 

Website name; humordoctormd 

But, I wanted something more than that.  I wanted my website to be interesting as well.  To do that, I had to write articles, that I thought were important to me and my visitors.  In 2013, I now have 374 articles on hand, and I am so pleased and thankful to the readers out there, that made this happen.

SiteMap; (374 articles);
I posted this piece on Christmas Eve of 2011, and after a 16 month journey, this piece took the lead (hits/views) in April, 2013.  I couldn't be happier, because this is my bread and butter piece, as it contains all my 374 articles in over 40 categories. 

Imagination;
For over 40 years, people have told me, that I have an imagination.   I'll let the reader decide;  after all, the visitor will decide who will succeed and who will fail;  The following, is probably the silliest page I've ever composed.  It's a scene at the Gift Shop at the Funny Farm, where the visitor can get a designer straight-jacket in your favorite colors;

Funny Farm Gift Shop;

Take a look at a few other pages, that took a little imagination;

Boot Camp; Welcome to Fort Knocks;

The Idea Factory; Take a look at this colorful page in Red, White and Blue

 Taking chances with ideas;
Whether it be in the wood business for over 30 years, or now in writing...I've always taken chances with my work and ideas.  Over the years, I've won a few and I've lost a few, etc.  But, I don't hesitate to take a chance with an idea.  The reader can just look at the titles of my articles, and will notice that I take chances with many of them.

Policy #3; If you're a liar; a cheater; a person who 'cooks the books' to favor you; no ethics; no integrity...cannot be trusted...don't bother to show up and don't contact me with your schemes.  I'm NOT interested...

Writing courses;  In my 40's, I went back to the books, and I completed three writing courses, to try to improve my writing skills, and include; Writer's Digest course; The National Writers Club course; a creative writing course at the University of New Mexico;  It took me about 18 months to complete these courses...

Subsidy Publishers?  NO way, Jose; I expect all four of my books to be on the Best Seller List, so I don't want subsidy publishers getting in the way.  It's called CONFIDENCE...

Creating a style of my own;
Here again, the reader can visit all parts of my website and writing site, and will notice the style I have developed over the years.  I think 'style' is the most important element that goes into any art work or writing piece.  If a person does something in a unique and different way, he or she will probably get noticed.  And, that's why R.K. Rowling of the Harry Potter series got noticed...she has a unique and different style...a great imagination...and the rest is history...she is a wealthy woman today. 

Humor;
Most people don't do humor, so that lessons the competition for me.  I've been in the humor business for over since I was eleven years old, so I've been around a long time.  All four books will have bits and pieces of humor, such as the following;

One day, I was driving home from work, and I was stopped at a red light.  While I was waiting for the light to change, I noticed an outdoor portable sign in front of a dry cleaning establishment across the street which read;

'Drop Your Pants Here'

Helping others;
So many people have helped me along the way, so I have to help people along the way as well.  And, I can do that in many ways.  One of the ways, is to inform the reader where I went along the way, and the things I did to get noticed.  For example, when I started writing seriously in August, 2006, I started posting my articles on an article directory called EzineArticles.com.  I think this is a good way for anyone to start for writers of any age.  There are 'live' editors here, and your articles will either get accepted or rejected.  If you're good enough, this is where you can get your start in getting your articles published around the world on the Internet. 

Over the years, over 100 different articles of mine have been published on more than 500 website on the Internet, and the list can be seen at the following link; (2 pages)

Articles Published Page;

Being a learner and a doer;
Technology today, is changing all the time, and most of us can't keep up, so a person on the Internet, has to be a learner and a doer, to keep up with the latest.  To do this for me, I have to subscribe to computer magazines and read books that are appropriate for what I'm doing.  Following, are a list of the books I have read or are reading to learn about what's going on in this fast-moving world; Books include;

* Show Me About Book Publishing by Judith Briles; Rick Frishman and John Kremer; (sounds like a law firm, doesn't it?)
* Guide To Avoiding Plagiarism; by Rosemarie Menager and Lyn Paulos; (sounds like 2/3 of a law firm, doesn't it?)
* Book Proposals and Query Letters; The complete Idiot's Guide;  by Marilyn Allen and Coleen O'shea
(You have to  wonder if this pair argues...as to who the idiot is);
* The Copyright Handbook;  What Every Writer Needs to Know; by Stephen Fishman;
* How to Start and Run Your Own Corporation; S-Corporations for Small Business Owners; by Peter I. Hupalo;
* Essential Computer Security; Everyone's Guide to E-Mail; Internet and Wireless Security; by Tony Bradley;
* Anatomy of a Business Plan; by Linda Pinson;
* The Right-Brain Business Plan; A Creative Map for Success; by Jennifer Lee;
* LInkedIN For Dummies; by Joel Elad MBA;
* Social Media Marketing;  All-in-One For Dummies; by Jan Zimmerman and Deborah Ng; (excuse me, but I don't think her last name is complete);
Guide To Book Publishers; Editors; and Literary Agents (2013)  Jeff Herman; Who they are; what they want; and how to win them over. 
* Let's Trade; A book about bartering; by Nancy Jensen; (Boy, I got screwed in this trade!  You call this a book?  I call it a pamplet at most.  
* Barter Book; How To Protect Yourself When Bartering; by Mike Young, Esq.

Magazines include;
The Writer Magazine;
Writer's Digest; 
PC World

Computer Labs; Located about two miles down the street;  Central New Mexico Community College; (30,000 students);  I have had a guest membership at this college for about five years.  I go there to use the computers in the Computer Lab.  If I ever have a question about computers, I'll always find the answer here.  Across the street, is the location of the Universtiy of New Mexico (30,000 students);  The people at these two Labs know a lot more about computers than I do. 

If I don't find the answer to my computer problem, I just go across the street, and I know I will find the answer at one place or the other. 

Top 50 Articles; hits/views;
I've always thought the title of any writing piece is the most important element of that writing piece, whether is be a movie; an article; poem, etc.  The title is the 'hook' of the piece and should generate curiousity about the piece.  By showing this list, the reader can see some of the titles at the top of the list, and the reader can also see the type of topics I choose to write about, etc. 

 Universal audience; 
Take a look at my four book titles below...they are all universal audience-oriented...which makes for a wider audience and for an interest in an international marketplace and community, etc. 

Title #1;  House Call;
The Positive and Healing Power of Humor;
Everyone around the world is interested in humor; laughter;  medical is also of interest to everyone around the world, because all of us want to stay well.  Nobody likes being sick.

Title #2;  STROKE; Take Care of Yourself or Else...Medical is universal, as everyone in the world is interested in staying well all their lives; 

Title #3; PROUDLY...MADE IN THE USA;
(self-improvement);  Idea development; creativity; and problem-solving are world-wide as well. (universal audience)  

Title #4; There Ain't NO Free Lunch, Chump!  
There are so many people out there, who think that everything a person accomplishes...just falls out of the sky or grows on trees!  These are people I like to call "the little minds of the world"    They don't realize how long it takes to complete a project; and the cost of it or both. 

These are negative people, in my view, and become jealous and resentful when they see others accomplish so much.  I stay away from these people and quickly show them the door...These are people who can never talk about what they CAN do; they can only talk about what they CAN'T do, and excell in the put-down of others, etc.  These worthless people are excuse-makers all their lives...

Negative people are all over the world...and everyone has to put up with them, etc.  Another book that I classify as universal audience. 

'Toot Your Horn' With Dignity and Gratitude;
For about a year now, I've been keeping track of how my articles are doing, as far as getting exposure, etc.  Back in March, 2012, 95 of my articles were featured on the writing site, which is my high; the Featured Page; the Top Ten in various categories; and the AD Top 100 List;  My low for this time, was 9 articles in December, 2012. 

 Authors Den Top 100 List;
I placed this List here, so the reader, if interested, can go to the List and see if any of my articles are posted here.  (scroll down page)  At this writing, I have six articles on this list. 

 The book proposals will be written on my website, and will NOT be seen by the public. 

*                      *                   *

I started writing seriously in August, 2006, and since that time, I have written and posted 374 articles.  The titles and electronic query's of each of my books are as follows; (Work in Progress)

1) Book title; House Call; (DRAFT)
The Positive and Healing Power of Humor; 

"Attitude is everything...so THINK POSITIVE.  We've all heard the following cliche dozens of times, 'Laughter is the best medicine.'   In my work over the years, I've used hundreds of quotes, including in this book, and my favorite humor quote is as follows;

"We humans are good examples, that God has a sense of humor."  Sabatito Bungo

It is said, that humor is like the sunshine...it brightens all the day...

Anyone can go out on the Internet, and pick up a few jokes for your next party or event.  And yes, this book is about laughs and funny stuff...but, this book is also about humor-related material such as the medical benefits of humor, etc. 

Have you ever wondered why comedians live so long?  I think I know the answer; Because humor helps to reduce stress in their lives, and everyone knows that stress can cause a heart attack; stroke or other ailments.  Therefore, the book is about the positive and healing power of humor, etc.

This book is also about humor-related topics...that is...how you can get more humor in you life; learn how to be funny like me; while learning the things I do to stay healthy, etc.

Getting and staying well, is the focus of this book...after all, the reader can't do much of anything if you're sick all the time.  You MUST stay healthy to make a living for yourself and provide for your family etc.  

I think two of the most important qualities a person can have, is a positive attitude, and an open mind for change for the better.  Therefore...maybe a lifestyle change is in order...then so be it...stay healthy...

*                          *                      *               

2) Book title;  STROKE; Take Care of Yourself...OR Else;  (DRAFT)   I've been there...I've done that...so, the reader should pay attention.

On May 23, 2012, I came face to face with death, in the form of a stroke, and five minutes later, I was in an ambulance, headed for the hospital, where I spent one month.  When I arrived at the hospital, I couldn't stand up on my own, therefore, I couldn't walk, either.  Like a one year old baby, I had to go the the Rehab Center, to learn how to walk all over again. 

I wrote this book to SCARE PEOPLE into taking care of themselves...and, I have the experience to write it, because I've been there...I've done that, etc! 

About a year ago, I wrote an article on the hazards of diabetes, and the benefits of cinnamon, which is an enemy of blood sugar. (glucose)  It didn't take long, before I got the following email from a fellow who wrote;

"Thanks for the scare.  I'm going out to  buy some cinnamon right away."  Author unknown

After I got out of the hospital, I created a list of the positive things because of the stroke that I suffered.  For example; Before the stroke, I was getting too lazy; too complacent; too much couch-potato in my life.  The stroke knocked all that out of me, and helped to put me back on track, etc. 

Frankly, I think everyone over the age of 21, should have a mild stroke and spend a month in the hospital.  After they see that there are more people more devistated than them, they will take better care of themselves.  Therefore, this book is intended to scare people into taking better care of themselves. 

 3) Book title;  The Idea Factory...toot...toot...  (DRAFT) Creativity/idea development; (self-improvement); Everyone is creative in their own way...

The unsightly Berlin Wall, came tumbling down in 1989, effectively, ending the dangerous Cold War between the (then) Soviet Union and the United States.

After the Wall's demise, reporters from the West were allowed to enter Eastern Europe to report what they found.  They found old delapidated houses and rusty old businesses...and the landscape looked as if time had stood still.

Here, in the United States, and because of freedom for its citizens, and the ability to exchange ideas with one another, and because of the ingenuity and creativity displayed by Americans, the United States has prospered.  So, much, so that the United States has become the greatest and most powerful country in the world.  And, that's what this book is about...IDEAS and PROBLEM SOLVING. 

Simplicity; All my life, I have subscribed to the KISS Principle; Keep It Simple, STUPID.  A few years ago, I bought a book on ideas and creativity, and the book was written by a Ph.D at Stanford University.  Big mistake.  I just got through the first chapter, when I couldn't understant much of anything in the book whey I threw it away.  This book was so technical, that I think it was written for other Ph.D's.  It surely was not written for the general public.  I'm glad I bought the book, because I learned from it...the keep things simple, if I would ever write my own book. 

4) Book title;  Monkey See; Monkey Do; (DRAFT)
 learning from others; Query letter follows;

"What is one of the best ways to learn?  From others, right?  Learning from their experiences...both good and bad; their education; skills; talents; wisdom; and most of all, from their ideas!  And, that's what this book is about...learning from others...and more precisely, learning from their IDEAS.  And, that's what this book is about...IDEAS and PROBLEM SOLVING. 

 And, finally...

Here in America, we all live in a country of choices.  There will be those, who have interest and will visit my writing site.  And, there are those, who have NO interest and will NOT visit my writing site...the choice is theirs. 

Blarney Stone; (description); a stone in Blarney Castle near Cork, Ireland....which is said to impart skill in flattery to anyone who kisses it;

And, to all those people who decide NOT to visit my writing site, I can only say what the Irish people say so eloquently...'you can kiss my Blarney Stone!

WORK IN PROGRESS...

May, 2013

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Copyright; 2013; Jerry Aragon; The Humor Doctor