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Shawn Ness

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Member Since: Aug, 2009

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'Destiny's Journey - Book 2 of Wheels of Destiny Trilogy
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Family deception kept Jennifer O'Malley from marrying her first love ten years ago, West Point Officer, Glen Herrington. When she travels the long journey west in search ..  
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How To Stretch A Puddle
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   Recent articles by
Shawn Ness

Three Words: True Love - Part 2
Three Words: True Love - Part 3
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2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
By Shawn Ness   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Friday, June 04, 2010
Posted: Friday, June 04, 2010

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Not sure why but I entered this year, below are the fruits of my labor.

Just for a little fun here are my two submissions (since there are no rules on having the submissions reprinted elsewhere):

Vial Puns:

Mal stormed into his boss’s office, irritated he had to work on the weekend again. Especially since he had spent weeks planning the Tent family reunion which was going to be on Saturday. The secretary paged the head honcho; Sir there is a Malcolm Tent here to see you. 
 
Detective:
She meandered into my dwelling, with her strawberry blonde hair in her hand she was carrying the remainder of her husband’s remains which remained after he had been slaughtered by the remaining members of the Deago family, I knew the Deago’s were bad news and I should have run but she was hotter than a vulcanized swing set seat in July, so I decided to remain.

 

 

 

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Lucifer's Dictionary of the American Language by Burton Wolfe

Lucifer's Dictionary presents, with nasty satire, the true meanings of words as butchered by Americans of all kinds...  
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A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon and Other Ravings from the Blogosp by Edward Patterson

A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon: a cure for short attention spans..  
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