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Shawn Ness

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Member Since: Aug, 2009

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Featured Book
Always Tell A Grown Up
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An Excellent gift for your child (or a child in your neighborhood)... This is the most important book you will ever purchase for your child(ren) and is fast becoming..  
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L.A. Screams
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Mike Sullivan is a rookie cop in late nineteenth-century Los Angeles. There are only seventy officers on the squad, and they still ride horses on patrol. The city populat..  
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   Recent articles by
Shawn Ness

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2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
By Shawn Ness   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Friday, June 04, 2010
Posted: Friday, June 04, 2010

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Not sure why but I entered this year, below are the fruits of my labor.

Just for a little fun here are my two submissions (since there are no rules on having the submissions reprinted elsewhere):

Vial Puns:

Mal stormed into his boss’s office, irritated he had to work on the weekend again. Especially since he had spent weeks planning the Tent family reunion which was going to be on Saturday. The secretary paged the head honcho; Sir there is a Malcolm Tent here to see you. 
 
Detective:
She meandered into my dwelling, with her strawberry blonde hair in her hand she was carrying the remainder of her husband’s remains which remained after he had been slaughtered by the remaining members of the Deago family, I knew the Deago’s were bad news and I should have run but she was hotter than a vulcanized swing set seat in July, so I decided to remain.

 

 

 

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Don't Ask and I Won't Have to Lie by Beverly Mahone

We know LYING is wrong BUT—lying happens sometimes when it comes to what we will or will not reveal to other people—-or our own denial about who we really are…… ..  
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Shakespeare: Slammed, Smeared, Savaged and Slaughtered by Jay Dubya

Shakespeare: Slammed, Smeared, Savaged and Slaughtered (Part I) is adult literature featuring adult content and language...  
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