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Richard Lee King

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Slow-Poke Drivers
by Richard Lee King   
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
Last edited: Friday, September 02, 2011
Posted: Friday, September 02, 2011

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If you're going to drive below the speed limit, get your butt over in the slow lane.


People should learn to be more considerate, especially old people. I’m 67 and I consider myself to be one of them, but so many of them drive like idiots. Oh, I know that being an idiot is not limited to us old people, but when you start out as an idiot, then start getting older, there just isn’t much hope. 
Here’s an example…. You’re driving down the boulevard (a divided two lane street) and traffic seems to be moving exceptionally slow. You’re running late and you’re in the left lane….. (the lane normally considered to be the fast lane) and there is a line of about a half a dozen cars in front of you, but you can see that it’s clear for a long ways in front of that lead car. The thing is, this fast lane seems to be moving slower than the slow lane. You put up with the poking along for a while, then you decide to slip over into the other lane trying to get around the slow poke.  (I’ve never seen a statistic to support it, but it’s my belief that slow-poke drivers are responsible for more traffic accidents than any other single cause and it’s because everyone else over reacts.) Invariably, when you finally get around the jam up, you’ll find that it’s some old codger driving well below the speed limit without enough brains or consideration to get over into the slow lane. 
PEOPLE!!!! They call it the FAST LANE for a reason!!! That sign saying slower vehicles stay in the right lane is there for a reason. If you’re going to poke ass along below the speed limit, it’s there for you!!!   Please have enough common sense and courtesy to get over where you belong.   
But that’s not what I wanted to discuss today. I wanted to talk about the fact that so many of us old farts find that we have to be out on the streets during RUSH HOUR. We’ve been retired forever, we have all day to do what ever it is that’s so important to get us out on these roads, but we find that the only convenient time to do it is during the hours when all those poor working stiffs are trying to get to, or from work,,,,, We’re probably rushing off to the restaurant to be the earliest early bird in the hope that there might be a PRE-early bird special. Either that or it’s during lunch time for all those working stiffs and we simply have to go to lunch at the exact same time as we always have, no matter that we haven’t worked in years.
That’s maddening enough, but couple it with the fact that we probably don’t know exactly where we are supposed to turn, so again we’re poke assing along, holding up traffic trying to make a left turn from the center lane, or some other ignorant move. On top of that, we’ve had our turn signal on for the last three blocks, so by now the drivers behind us know that we don’t have a clue and they’re chomping at the bit trying to find an opening in the traffic to switch lanes and get out from behind us.   That’s about the time we spike our breaks, realizing that this is our turn coming up and it’s almost too late to get over into the turn lane.
I could go on, but I’ve probably already made enough enemy’s for one day. Besides it’s almost rush hour and Sweetie and I have to get to that PRE-EARLY BIRDS special.


Copyright © 2011 Richard Lee King.  All Rights Reserved.
Author of: Nice & Naughty, A Pursuit of Life & The Price of Freedom

Web Site: Website: Life is Poetic

Reader Reviews for "Slow-Poke Drivers"

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Reviewed by Donna Chandler 9/3/2011
I feel your pain!

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 9/2/2011
I have often wish for an automatic weapon affixed to the hood of my Taurus. My pet peeve is people who seem to believe they actually have to STOP in the middle of a right-hand turn before actually making that turn. That is when I REALLY wish for that automatic weapon affixed to the hood of my Taurus.
Reviewed by Felix Perry 9/2/2011
Driving can really be frustrating. A certain road I drive almost daily has a speed limit way too slow for the normal conditions but after getting a ticket there twice I learned my lesson and slowed down. Ironically today I was going calmly along at the posted speed only to look up to see a cop behind me right on my bumper and I mean like a foot away. I stayed at the posted limit and before long there were a string of cars behind us. The cop must have grown tired of going so slow for he finally pulled off and parked.
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