CAR ‘STUFF’


© - Tom Hyland - 4/24/12


Hi Phyllis Jean Green:

Amen Pea ! Once upon a time, there was a big, open, empty area 'under the hood' ... you could see everything, reach everything, and fix anything!

Then, some 'Wise Guy' got the great idea of installing the engines so that plugs # 7 & 8 were back up under the fire-wall, and un-reachable ... unless you owned that 'Special Tool'!

Voltage regulators, generators, distributors, et cetera were not only within reach, but re-buildable! You could 'pull' a part out in 15 minutes, take it out to Dad's garage, lock it in a vise, re-build it, and re-install ... all in 2 hours, or less!

The same applied to all belts, hoses, radiators, water pumps, fuel pumps - what-have-you! Wayne, the mechanic, Joe, the plumber, John, the electrician, Bill, the carpenter - or even Mary Sue, the seamstress ... anyone with any mechanical ability whatsoever ... could cheaply repair their own cars ... and QUICKLY Too!

Then, generators were replaced by 'alternators' with new-fangled electrical gizmos, called 'diodes' ... Duh? What's a diode? 'Points' and 'condensers' inside the distributors were 'up-graded' to other fancier 'gizmos' - a 'new & improved' electrical system started being installed with things called 'circuit boards' - and 'computer chips' ...

I remember in 1956, when I turned 16, my very first 'Transistor' Radio - altho' RCA label - made in 'Occupied Japan'! In 1961, my 1953 Mercury Monterey, had a 'Nylon' timing gear - not Steel!

'Air breathers' with a re-usable filter, sat right on top of the carburetors, which were easily adjustable, with a spring-loaded 'set' screw. Copper 'floats' inside the carburetors were swapped out, and replaced by 'plastic' ones, that didn't last!

'Brake jobs' were a simple procedure once - in about an hour, a 'front-end' or 'rear-end' could be completed by a Teenager! A set of 'shoes' cost about $10. or less! A rusted out old 'drum' could be replaced by your Neighbor, a Buddy, or Brother-in-law, Buzz! Then, drums became 'rotors' - totally different 'animal' from the 'rotor' in your distributor! Shoes became brake 'pads' ... and on, and on, and on ....

'Planned Obsolescence' became the Catch-Phrase of the Automotive Industry! Before that - almost any 'grease-monkey' in any 'shop' anywhere, could 'fix' just about anything on any car!

Not anymore, Bunky! Your friendly 'auto mechanic' was gon’na start being as valuable as your local 'brain surgeon’ ... and making almost as much money!

Today, Almost EVERY JOB on any car, Costs $300.00 + ... Bumper - $300. - Small Dent - $300. - Side Mirror - $300. - Repair Flat - $300. - Empty Ash-Tray - $300... Et Cetera - Et Cetera - Et Cetera!

The only way 'Detroit' could have Made More Money ... Would have been to also sell jars of 'Vaseline' to its customers ...

To 'Ease' the 'Pain' of Being 'Screwed'!

Aaaaaaaaah .... A Return to Those 'Thrilling Days of YesterYear'!

Today, Instead of 'Car Stuff' .........

The British Term 'Get Stuffed!' Is More Apropos!

"Happy Motoring' !!! Tom.


© - TKH.