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Tom Adelstein

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A Single 60 year-old Male Dating Profile You'll Never See
by Tom Adelstein   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Wednesday, May 01, 2013
Posted: Sunday, August 05, 2012

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This is not reverse psychology.

People that frequent singles sites will tell you that old guys want to date young babes. That's a fact that old guys won't admit to, because of the pressure from woman in their 40's through 60's. Some say that younger woman are reducing the dating pool.

You also know people don't tell the truth in certain situations. For example, what you say when a Police Officer pulls you over for speeding. When you meet someone of the opposite sex in a bar and he or she asks you what you do for a living. When you eat dinner at Aunt Amy's.

When a guy in his 60's writes his profile for, OKCupid, Zoosk or Plenty of Fish, what would telling the truth look like? Try This:


I'm concerned about young women suggesting they would have an interest in an older man. In my opinion, it's a bad idea. 


 Not long ago, I dated a woman 21 years younger than me. She wanted to have a serious relationship. I couldn't get over the age difference and after a few months, she resisted but finally agreed with me and admitted she made a mistake. 


I have no idea why she had reluctance in the first place. One night she had too much wine and began crying. She blurted out: "He's too old for me, people look at us, he's not rich."


Those were the thoughts she hid. 


If you are young and want to be with an older man consider that people will give you weird looks. It doesn't seem to matter where you go. If you don't believe you would feel self-conscious, you will.


We went to places she'd never gone. For example, the Dallas Symphony - orchestra seats, piano side row AA. We still saw disparaging looks from the patrons -enlightened patrons.


Here's what you won't here from an older guy to start. "I've been married four times, I have an two estranged daughters each from different marriages. Two of my wives had extra-marital affairs and I didn't say anything. I felt justified in having my own. 


One day, my thrid wife came home to an empty house. I snuck out on a weekend she went to visit friends.


I snore and to stop it, I wear a C-PAP. It doesn't help intimacy. It doesn't keep the snoring away, but sometimes the mask falls off and sometimes it make enough noise to keep my partner from sleeping. The mask makes me look like I belng to the BORG.


Men my age or approaching my age have physical problems and it comes with time - not avoidable. People don't discuss it, even among themselves, but it's there.


I ran for 30 years - 6 miles daily and 13 miles on weekends. I lifted weights as a body builder, had a remarkably healthy diet, meditated for 1-2+ hours daily for a big part of my life (and do so now), received Sugi treatments daily for five years- basically did everything possible to guarantee longevity.


My joints hurt constantly unless I take pain killers. If I drink, the pain killers make me drunk quickly. I can slow dance, but that's all.


At my age, our bodies begin to disintegration process and so far, nothing reverses that process. It may keep my hair dark, my teeth nice and my eyes from getting cataracts, but that's about all. I have caps on my four upper front teeth.


I wouldn't have done anything different, even if I knew what I would face. The reach for longevity doesn't work. For example, one of the many problems with hormones - men lose 1% of their testosterone through normal aging each year after age 30, which affects other vital hormone production as well. Though treatments exist, imagine having to take monthly injections.


That doesn't have anything to do with Erectile Dysfunction. It affects other areas of the body. ED can be a problem, even with the miracle drugs, stimulation is required. If you wonder why I don't chase you around the room and have spontaneous sex, that's why.


I took injections and other treatments - growth hormone and testosterone but it's not natural and organic.


Men lose their spontaneous libido in their fifties. You cannot get around that. It's normal. Taking drugs like Viagra doesn't replace one's libido. Older men act like they have a normal libido, but they don't. People talk about these incredible viral men, but it's BS. Don't fall for it.


Men begin to fall apart in the late 60's. I mean fall apart. We have to learn pain management. It helps, but pain is a part is a part of mature life. We adapt to it and fail to notice it constantly, but you neverknow why it's going to happen. Drugs make one lose his erejction. 


Memory cells die. I never drank alcohol or took street drugs. But, I have to make sure that I put everything in a certain place or I forget where I put them. That's so common. Guys, my age, talk about it among ourselves, but you wouldn't hear a man looking for a "young thing" say it. For example, you won't hear them say, I do to the cabinet, but forget why I'm there -- same with closets and drives to the supermarket.


My mind works, but not as well. I have eidetic memory, but it doesn't function quite like it did. It allows me to write and I recently had an international bestseller. That's what my life is about -writing. I have that ability, but other people I know don't have much going for them. They're bored. When I was younger, the author-aura attracted people. They don't care any more. No one says, there goes that bestselling author - what's his name?


They don't even say that. Recently. I had a date with a younger women who was 14 when the 9/11 attack occured. She had no idea why we went to war in the middle east or the big deal with Islamic men.


I can go on. If you hook-up with an older man, at some point while you are still young, men will begin to need increasing medical attention. I magine, you're in a formal evening gown sitting net to a hospital bed and you miss the Ambassador's ball.


My family members are long-livers. My grandfather died at 88 when life expectancy was 59. My father had ten heart attacks and survived them. He was a World War II veteran and smoked. He was a strong man, but he still suffered. It's not fun to watch them in their "at home" hospital beds with all the pills and breathing aparatus around them.


These are just things to think about. I don't know many men that would just come out and tell you this. It's the truth though. You don't want to take this on.


You can do better than going out with an older man.


I've known many enlightened younger men.


Think about this: In my 40's, I was a catch. I had one million dollars in my checking acount. I could explain the philosophical tenets of the Tao of Lao Tse and could recite much of it.


I studied with Param Sant Sat Guru's in India, lived on an Ashram, became a CPA to support my enlightenment habit, knew numerous American Guru's like Werner Erhard. I was a studio musician at age 14, became an Investment Banker and made unfathomable money, became a seriously published author.


I helped invent ecommerce on the Internet, had a Presidential Appointment to the Library of Congress - had a portfolio of art - my art. I was a polymath. I dated one movie start and aspiring support actress.


If I could be all of that in my 40's, then people like me must exist today. Even if you only got a guy with a professional degree, that's good stuff. It's better than an old guy.


 Whatever I accomplished twenty years ago, doesn't matter any more. When one begins to age, then it's just past glory.


Don't listen to older guy's stories of past fame. Even the "most interesting man alive" is past his prime.


People will tell you that exceptions exist. How would they know? By reading something. Uma and Charlie Chaplin did not have it as well as the publicity would have you believe. He was in a wheel chair for a significant part of their marriage. 


From "When Harry Met Sally":


Sally: No, but why didn't he want to marry me?

What's the matter with me?

Harry: Aw, nothing.

Sally: I'm difficult.

Harry: You're challenging.

Sally: I'm too structured, I'm completely closed off.

Harry: But in a good way.

Sally: No, no, no I drove him away, and I'm going to be forty.

Harry: When?

Sally: Someday.

Harry: In eight years.

Sally: But it's there. It's just sitting there like

this big dead end. And it's not the same for men. Charlie Chaplain

had babies when he was seventy three.

Harry: Yeah but he was too old to pick them up.


To answer your question:


Men always try to reel women in. They'll say what they have to. They also use the "friendship"card. Here's an example:


"I'm looking for a friend. That's about it. I'm open to, but not necessarily seeking a romantic relationship. If you would rather go to Rome than Monaco and enjoy dating, then we'll really get along. I'm not a sports fanatic, I like the mountains, the outdoors and have no fear of New York City.


Now, that write-up is a chick magnet if I've ever seen one.






Web Site: The Lonely Author

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Reviewed by Rae Brooks 6/29/2014
While I don't peruse online dating sites, you are probably right on about the dating profile posted. For some, " stripping yourself down" to expose the truth about not only your life, but your wonderfully aging life (as I see it for all of us in this age bracket) is extremely difficult.

However, we all depends on the fear one has with aging that determines the honesty one puts forth, whether it's during a first encounter face to face or an online encounter but then you realize this. Kudos for this. Rae

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