The Sarbanes Oxley Act was enacted as a backlash against companies practicing willful wrong- doing.  It can be boiled down to one sentence “Do the right thing!”  The SEC can and will prosecute, to the full extent of the law, any corporation or corporate officer lying, hiding material facts, or signing financial documents that attempt to mislead the public.  I think it is high time a similar law is enacted to hold elected officials to the same standards they are demanding from businesses.

Consider the changes that would have to occur in government proceedings if this was put into law.  No elected official would be able to obfuscate the facts with rhetoric, half truths, and unsubstantiated ranting.  No one would be able to vote for or against a bill unless they had clear and convincing knowledge of the facts behind the bill.  Just as corporations must face Anti-Trust and Collusion Laws, elected officials would have to account for why they chose to vote one way or another.  “Good Old Bob asked me to” would no longer be a viable reason.  Log rolling would go back to the fair grounds where it belongs, back scratching and mutual grooming rituals would disappear back into bedrooms.

Yesterday’s proceedings in the Illinois House clearly demonstrate why such a law is necessary.  Discussion of an amendment to make horse slaughter illegal for human consumption degenerated into a shouting match with accusations that horse people force seniors to eat cat food, claims that the horse industry condemns people to live in squalor (therefore needing to be punished by having their horses killed), and whispers about non-existent half naked pictures.  It’s ironic that the ones most concerned, the horse owners themselves, were alleged to use unfair tactics in supporting a bill that affected them personally and profoundly.  The anti-bill people, stating it was a sign of mental instability, angrily shouted down anything that could be construed as emotion from the pro-bill side.  All calm, non-emotive reasons were swept under the carpet of legislative disdain and a good time was had by all at the public skewering of the wishes of the people.  After all, they love horses, and everyone knows what that means (insert dirty snicker here).

I do have a few questions for the good Representatives of Illinois though.  

1. Why are seniors eating cat food in Illinois when Spam, tuna, macaroni and cheese, peanut butter and jelly, beans and rice are all much cheaper than cat food?
   
   
2. What do horses have to do with people’s rooms?  Are they sharing them with horses and that’s why there is squalor?  What part of “that makes no sense” did I miss?
   
   
3. Where are these half naked pictures?  Could someone produce one please and explain what it has to do with horses?
   
   
4. If horse owners have no say about horses, does that mean that dog owners will have no say when the Chinese open a Golden Retriever processing plant in Chicago like the one they have in Beijing.  Foreign trade is foreign trade and as the good representative stated “it would be wrong to legislate what people can eat.”
   
   
5. We have slaughter plants in Texas and still have abused, starving horses, many more than any other state.  Following the corollary proposed by the Illinois legislature, maybe there is a link between slaughter and neglect, maybe slaughter plants breed neglect.  That makes as much sense as an Illinois Representative screaming, “without slaughter plants horses will wander the streets panhandling food.”
   
   
6. When Rep. Charles Morrow angrily declaimed in the House "I find it insulting that we're now governing by celebrity," it made me wonder if he refuses to eat the “Breakfast of Champions” because celebrities are featured on the box.  Does he also scream about all those public service ads against drugs and driving drunk because celebrities are the spokespersons?  I have to question the viability of his contention since he appears to count on his own celebrity status when it comes to re-election to his office.
   
   
7. How much are they paying those forty jobs?  1.1 million in payroll taxes on 40 jobs (a reason to allow the plant as continuously quoted in the papers) averages more than 100,000 a person.  If that is the true salary, then they are doing something other than slaughtering horses at that plant to generate the revenue necessary to support that payroll.  What are they really shipping overseas? 
   
   Yesterday’s proceedings have taught me one thing though.  Rationality, facts, and reason are the kiss of death for getting a bill passed.  Making horse noises, lewd jokes, and forcing seniors to eat expensive cat food are what work in Illinois.  God help the conservatives of this world.  The Illinois House of Representatives is full of celebrity hating emotional teenagers it appears.  Maybe it is time to apply “Do the right thing” to our elected officials before they start eying our dogs as a new source of income. 
   
   Carol M Chapman
   Hitchcock, Texas