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R A Beeman

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The Judas Within Me
By R A Beeman   
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Last edited: Saturday, March 27, 2004
Posted: Saturday, March 27, 2004

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Deep inside all of us a little Judas exists.

     I often wonder how Judas felt when he betrayed the Christ. Was his remorse as real as his pain? I often find myself dealing with my Judas from within. The power of deceit and deception will grow stronger if I never take care of the root of the problem. The immensity of betrayal my be compared to taking a last breath in a relationship that has thrived trials, tribulations, divorce and the loss of children.
     Should we deceive one or more to protect a love so lost? I don't know nor do I sometimes care. However, I can never know what time will behold and that is the reason I can take my last breath and take with me forever a love that will last beyond the grave. Each of us has a Judas in some form or another. Maybe he doesn't center on betrayal or deception. It could be something totally different.
     I, however, believe that communication is a wonderful tool used so little in relationships that could solve the Judas Syndrome because it is one of the four great cornerstones of life.
     As I build my life around the four cornerstones that I believe in, I have learned and witnessed that some foundations crumble because one or more of the corners did not live up to the weight applied.
     My corners are not the same corners Judas had, but the relevance remains the same. He had the one, true cornerstone who holds my tongue and takes away the afflictions that betray my very body. Did Judas have the laughter that holds up more than just the weight that I apply, but the weight of others who rely on a smile and a laugh when they need it the most? For me to be silly in word, thought, or deed brings happiness to those who know me. Laughter is truly a tonic for the soul and should never be taken lightly. If my use of laughter slips, then the Judas within me shall surely seek out and destroy.
     Judas never knew the true trust that others had place in him. This trust was so powerful that to betray it would mean death to those who break the bond. One death on the cross and one on another tree where the end results were the same. One death, a glorious end, another death, only Judas knows. Trust, also, is the cement that binds the corners together to form an interlocking foundation that holds true to the test of time.
     Judas had the chemistry that bonded together men of like thought. A relationship without like ideas, concepts, and attitudes will only last a season. Time is both the enemy and the friend to those who strive to meet the goals that all couples should set. Chemistry is not always a perfect science, but when we blend the right things together, right things will then emerge new. 
     Finally, Judas had the true and living Christ in the flesh as his mentor and friend. He saw what His hands had done. He knew who He was, and yet he still betrayed the one he loved the most. I stand by faith alone and without love in my heart; I to would be this same Judas. Even though he tried to make amends of his deed, the die was cast and the end would still be the same. Time will deal with the Judas within me and time will deal with the Judas who remains silent within us all.

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Reviewed by Rita Keller (Reader) 1/3/2008
Very indepth thinking of oneself. I am sure we all have a little bit of Judas within us all. You are a great write.
Reviewed by Elaine Carey 4/1/2004
Insightful write...

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