Join Free! | Login 

   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: Ron Cox, iDeborah Frontiera, iLeslie Garcia, iLinda LeBlanc, iOralya Ueberroth, iIsabella Koldras, iDerek Flower, i
  Home > Humor > Articles
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Ian R Thorpe

  + Follow Me   

· 387 titles
· 1,401 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
Member Since: Before 2003

   My Blog
   Contact Author
   Read Reviews

Subscribe to the Ian R Thorpe Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"

· Age Of Certainty

· Age Of Certainty

· Blöd Ties

· The Best Of Boggart Blog (vol 1)

· Dimensions of Mystery

· A Two Faced Poet

· Millennium Dawn (anthology)

· A Stroke of Luck

Short Stories
· Bloodaxe Corner

· The Kiss

· Psycho Benefit Fraud

· The Vegetarian Shoemaker Of Barking

· Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #7

· Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #3 (Adult Humour)

· The King of the Ribble Delta Blues Singers (humour)

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 19

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 18

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 17

· Freedom Of Speech And Information - Why It Is So Important

· The Science Fraud: Many Scientific Research Papers Are Pure Gobbledegook

· Maybe You Should Think About Getting a Tinfoil Hat After all

· Merry Atheistmas

· High Brasil: Fairy Tale Or Atlantis

· Captive Minds And Intellectual Cowardice

· Is The Universe Helping Us Think

· Deliberately Wrecking Our Environment

· Why War Is Inevitable

· Helping The Mind Cope With Stress

· We Made Love

· The Hands Of Old People

· Time Travellers

· The Pompous Toad

· Bye Bye Blackbird (parody)

· Sleepless Nights Of A Little boy

· Fitness Fanatics Blues

· The Goddess - Anima Mundi

· Spider

· Different Clothes

         More poetry...
· Seasons Greetings

· Poetry Life and Times Interviews Janet Caldwell

· Ian Thorpe on Christian Radio. Unbelieveable

· Season's Greetings

· July Poetry Life and Times

· Poetry Life and Times

· Ian's Audio online at last (specially for halloween)

Ian R Thorpe, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

Books by Ian R Thorpe
The ideas proposed by government officials to persuade children to eat more healthily just keep getting whackier. The justification is it will save the NHS money by improving health and recucing obesity but the amount spent on promoting healthy eating will cause spending cuts elsewhere.


 This article first appeared on Boggart Blog, the authors top ranked UK humour blog.

A Scottish Education Authority, we learn, has introduced a scheme that will encourage children to take up a more healthy diet by awarding points for each healthy meal they eat. When pupils have earned enough points they can buy livestock, medical supplies or classroom equipment for third world villages and schools.

What a lousy idea. We can just see Scottish children giving up their pizza, pies and deep fried Lard in order to eat salads and buy pigs and pencils for someone on the other side of the world. Members of the Politically Correct Police may accuse us Boggart Bloggers of having a jaundiced view of childhood but we were all children ourselves once and remember what shallow, self – interested little monsters we were.

If educationalists really want to get children eating more healthily the bribes on offer will have to appeal not to altruism but to materialism. Even the offspring of the most politically correct parents are going to be more willing to eat a hundred and fifty salads or vegetarian chillis if there is an iPod to be had at the end of the ordeal.

A hundred and fifty salads represents a universe of suffering to a child reared on deep fried pizza and fish suppers*. To ask them to go through such an ordeal just to send forty chickens to a village in Africa is too much. There is also the problem of understanding; children respond to tangible reward. Were anybody able to endure the ordeal of gathering the necessary three thousand two hundred points (thirty two thousand nine hundred vegetarian meals) they would surely feel entitled to demand "Where’s ma fucking Yak, Jimmy?

Getting children in the third world to eat healthily would be more practical. The diet is already healthy and simply giving them enough of it would be sufficient reward. Yaks, goats and chickens might be a goal worth attaining in such environments but in the western world most children would be more inspired by the promise of skateboards, Playstations, mountain bikes, Remote Control Pirate Ships (like the one I got for my 60th birthday**) and electronic gadgets. There are exceptions of course, young Ethiopia Zeitgeist – Taylor, homeschooled child of a couple of meeja professionals would still valiantly much his way throuch several million portions of crudities with hummus dips to get his hands on the first cloned Woolly Mammoth but in general the sceme is a loser.

* fish supper is the usual Scottish way of referring to fish and chips. Anyone who thinks Scottish kids do not get a varied enough diet should remember they can also order chicken supper, meat pie super, deep fried pizza supper, sausage supper and deep fried Mars Bar supper. How much variety do nutritionists want?

**I mention this just to prove I am qualified to write about children.

Human Mothers To Have Intelligent Mouse Babies

Check out the Boggart Blog archives for more satirical posts







Web Site University Education Is Wothless

Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Popular Humor Articles
  1. There Is a Their There
  2. Conniving My Retirement
  3. It's the Old Spice Guy: Look at Him, Now L
  4. Dad's Treasure
  5. The Toilet Seat Delima
  6. Really Dumb Joke 9
  7. J. Carson as R. Reagan
  8. penwose Speaks
  9. Lost C. Burnett Skit
  10. Merry Atheistmas

You can also search authors by alphabetical listing: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen

© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.