“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
I am on confidant in what I know and believe. I am acutely aware of my long list of flaws. As I get older, the ability to leverage my strengths grows steadily sharper. My bedrock beliefs rest heavily upon a foundation of Judeo-Christian values. The philosophers Immanuel Kant, Aristotle, Descartes, John Stuart Mill and Jean Paul Sartre influenced my youthful mind. Without subscribing whole heartedly to any man's doctrine, I posses an eclectic viewpoint collected from utilitarianism, existentialism, Social Darwinism and empiricism. I also possess a Kantian sense of duty.
Duty and Ethics
Ethics is simply a matter of doing the right thing. I base my personal standard of conduct on philosopher Immanuel Kant's theory of ethics, which is the “doing something out of a desire to do it and doing something out of a feeling of moral obligation (duty) to do it are two different states” (Angeles, P.A. 1981, p. 82). While performing testing analysis during my graduate degree program, the scores indicated that I had a high orientation to “doing duty and showing respect for authority” (Whetton & Cameron, 1998, p. 56).
Ayn Rand, the renowned author of The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged was also one of the most prominent philosophers of the twentieth century. During an appearance on an afternoon talk show, she stated, “A bloody trail of wars and revolutions to enforce self-sacrifice, and an endless struggle in society to achieve equality among people was born out the theory of duty.” Rand particularly took issue with German Philosopher Kant. She believed his adherence to the importance of obligation had led millions of people down a false path of self-sacrifice.
Rand subscribed to the philosophy of Objectivism, which she defined as “rational selfishness”, or seeking to gratify ones own needs over the requirements of all others. By doing this, Rand believed there would be no more soldiers marching off to fight wars for greedy old politicians. To this, I answer thank god millions of men and women did not shrink from self-sacrifice while Adolph Hitler ravaged the globe with his notion of rational selfishness. I believe this illustration supports Kant's belief ethics is born out of moral obligation to do the right thing; and to serve the utilitarian needs of society.
Ayn Rand was opposed to big, centralized government, which included Nazism, fascism and communism. Nevertheless, she did not believe they were worth destroying by force. Though untested by battle, I would like to think that if confronted by forces who would seek to subjugate me; I could fight to annihilate them.
Rand supported the theory of rational and ethical egoism, which means that it is moral to act in one's own self interest. I have no issue with this viewpoint, frequently acting in the capacity of practitioner. Rand was not overly fond of altruism, which is the act of being selfless with another human being. Contrary to her belief, though I rarely practice self-sacrifice, I highly recommend it.
Rand also rejected all forms of religion. I have heard numerous scientific and evolution based arguments against believing in a deity. Though I do not embrace Mahatma Gandhi's notion of god, I think he said one of the most brilliant things I have ever heard regarding the topic: “There are subjects where reason cannot take us far, and we have to accept things on faith. Faith then does not contradict reason but transcends it.”
Does God Exist?
Since the time early man began to gaze into the heavens, they have longed to know their creator. Notable philosophers David Hume, Descartes and Thomas Aquinas all outlined ontological arguments for the existence of a being greater than man. While taking my first philosophy class in college, I was introduced to Anselm of Canterbury. This medieval thinker was not only one of the first to argue the existence of god; I believe his argument is the best. I would like to offer you the Reader's Digest version.
1. Our understanding of God is a being than which no greater can be conceived.
2. The idea of God exists in the mind.
3. A being, which exists both in the mind, and in reality, is greater than a being that exists only in the mind.
4. If God only exists in the mind, then we can conceive of a greater being-that which exists in reality.
5. We cannot be imagining something that is greater than God.
6. Therefore, God exists.
The Devil in my Den
One pitch-black night, after returning from playing a gig, I began developing the outline for completing my book. The entire power grid for the neighborhood had gone down, so I typed by candlelight until about 1:00 PM. As I continued writing, I began to tire, finally dozing off in the chair. Upon the witching hour, I was startled awake. As my eyes focused, the tiny silhouette of a little cartoon devil appeared behind the flickering candle.
Little Devil
Bitch do you need me to get you some Red Bull or Geritol? You got to stop swilling that decaf.
Me
I reached out to choke the little bastard, but he flew around the room like a hummingbird.
Little Devil
The small Satin shook his head. “You are slow, old man. Why you hating, I'm here to help you with your book.” Just as, those words left his mouth, a cartoon angel appeared out of miniature celestial light.
Tiny Angel
“Don't listen to him!” the angel shouted folding her diminutive arms. “He wants to throw you in the lake of fire.”
Little Devil
The small demon cackled. “Lake of fire, there ain't no such thing you washed out cow.”
Tiny Angel
My sleepy Phillip, you know I'm right. Heaven and hell are real. If you listen to little Satan, you will lose your soul.
Little Devil
Small Satan waived his arms, and suddenly he was wearing a gold lame suit. He shouted “Hit me,” and a horn section popped four times. He began to dance and sing I Feel Good at the speed of lightening. He scowled at the Tiny Angel. “Bitch, do I look like I ain't got no soul?” He turned to me grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “I'm on the level. I am here to help you.”
Tiny Angel
He is offering the kind of help that leads to hellfire and damnation.
Me
“I would like to hear what the little guy has to say.” I looked over at the sweet seraph shrugging my shoulders. “Why shouldn’t I hear him out?”
Little Devil
“That’s more like it.” He nodded in acknowledgement. “The boss would like a private word with you.”
Me
“The boss?” I inquired.
Little Devil
“Yeah, the boss,” he answered motioning toward the French doors of my office. “You have to invite him in.”
Me
I rolled my eyes. “You mean like a vampire.”
Little Devil
“Yeah, like a vampire,” he answered sarcastically.
Tiny Angel
“No, no, no, no,” she said shaking her hand at me. “You do not invite the Prince of Darkness into your den.”
Me
“I’ll see your boss,” I said looking over at Little Devil. “Send Mister Scratch the hell on in.”
Little Devil
“He doesn’t like that nickname.” Just s the words left his mouth, a strikingly handsome man dressed in a red Armani suit appeared from a silver cloud.
Me
Mister Mephistopheles I presume?
Satan
“I go by many names. Some people call me Mister Scratch or Mephistopheles as you just did, or Lucifer and Old Nick. You may call me Mister Mephisto.” Satan looked over at Little Devil, flipping his hand. “You may go minion.” Satan’s errand boy bowed his head and burrowed into the floor. Moments later, there was no trace of him or damage to the floor. The Tiny Angel hung her head down and sighed. Within a few seconds, she disappeared. “Good, now we can get down to business.”
Me
What makes you think I would ever do business with you Mister Mephisto?
Satan
Come now Mister Hardy, you haven’t heard my proposition yet. I am here to help you. You claim to be writing the greatest self help book ever. Yet, I find your manuscript to be didactic and arrogant. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t wish to help you. How could it hurt to get a little bit of literary criticism?
Me
“Oh yeah, what do you know about writing books?” Suddenly I regretted asking such a pedestrian question.
Satan
“You would be surprised what famous writers have sought my counsel; let alone an unknown such as yourself.” Old Nick smiled. “No offense of course.”
Me
No offense taken. Sorry if I didn’t give the devil his due.
Satan
What a clever use of an old cliché. Mister Hardy, your problem is that you always think too small. In the last chapter, you half jokingly said that high and mighty god helps you navigate the calamities of the world. Perhaps, you have not been aware that I'm the one who has taken an interest in you. I know you have confidence in your meager abilities. Why, if your arms were a bit longer, I think you’d pat yourself on the back. It’s a pity, because I think with some guidance, you could be so much more.
Me
“So, the ruler of the underworld wants to be my mentor?” My guest sat down in the chair next to me. He reached into his coat pocket for a cigar. He carefully toasted his stogie and began taking a few puffs.
Satan
“My doctor says these things are going to kill me.” The Devil took a few more drags of his premium cigar. “Sorry, does the smoke bother you.”
Me
Nope, it only bothers me that you didn’t offer me one.
Satan
“Oh, sorry, where are my manners.” The well attired demon pulled another cigar out and gently handed it to me. He quickly snapped his fingers and lit my smoke with his forefinger. He snapped his fingers again, and a bottle of brandy appeared with two glasses. “Care for the best Napoleon Brandy?”
Me
Don’t mind if I do.
Satan
The devil quickly accommodated, handing me a snifter. “To your health sir,” he said raising his glass.
Me
I too raised my glass and then took a sip. “Damn, that's good.
Satan
That is the best Napoleon brandy Mister Hardy.
Me
Yeah, I heard you the first time; I got it.
Satan
No Mister Hardy, I don’t believe you do. This particular brandy is from Bonaparte’s wine cellar. He was one of my clients. Perhaps you would like to meet him?
Me
I was shocked at Lucifer’s question. “What do you mean? I’m about two centuries too late, am I not?”
Satan
“Frankly you surprise me Mister Hardy, I know it’s a bit late, but I thought you had more wit than that.” Mister Scratch poured himself another glass of brandy. “By your own admission, you said your beliefs are steeped in Judeo-Christian principles. Well, I am here tonight to challenge what you know, what you believe. You consider yourself quite the scrapper. Are you ready to know the truth?”
Me
I took a puff of the cigar, “Cohiba Robusto from Havana right?”
Satan
There is no embargo where I live Mister Hardy.
Me
“No, you are quite right Mister Scratch; I do not have your breadth of experience. I have been around for a blink of an eye. You, on the other hand, have been around for an eternity so to speak.”
Satan
I was round when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain; made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands to seal his...
Me
I interrupted incredulously. “You’re quoting Mick Jagger!”
Satan
The devil laughed uproariously. “Catchy isn’t it? That’s right mortal; I have silk ties older than you.”
Me
Perhaps the difference between us is that I learn from my mistakes. You…well you’ve been using the same tactics since the Garden of Eden.
Satan
There you go underscoring my point Mister Hardy; always over estimating your sadly miniscule knowledge. Would you care to compare resumes with me?
Me
Yeah, yeah; a census taker tried to test me; and I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. I’ve cheated and read ahead to the end of the book. In Revelations, don’t you get thrown in the lake of fire?”
Satan
“Lake of fire, lake of fire”, the devil said in a whiny voice. “Between you and the cherub, you sound like a couple of parrots.” Only seconds later, the tiny angel appeared again.
Tiny Angel
That's right, evil fiend. When the son of man casts you in the flames, you and the fancy suit will be incinerated.
Me
I took my cigar and pointed at the devil. “Yeah Old Nick, what do you say to that?”
Satan
The prince of darkness extended his bony hand, shooting a powerful electrical charge that sent Tiny Angel reeling into the living room. He looked over at me, speaking in a low tone. “The Bible is a bunch of fairy stories written for marks like you. I wouldn’t hang my hat on a book conceived by a gang of vagabonds who followed some schizophrenic rabbi.”
Me
“Dude, go easy with that finger action. You’re going to wake up my wife with those lightning bolts. Then, heaven or hell won’t save us. I pointed over to the virtuous messenger. “That wasn’t very nice what you did to Tiny Angel.”
Satan
Mister Scratch pretended to play the violin. “Oh boohoo, since when did you ever listen to her?”
Me
I raised my voice a bit. “You now that’s bullshit. I always try to do the right thing; you know I seek the categorical imperative.” No sooner, had I finished my thought, when a wobbly Tiny Angel poked her head in the den.
Tiny Angel
The pint sized seraphim straightened up and dusted off. “He’s right you know. Last year, when Phillip realized the home store undercharged him on a kitchen knife set, he took back the receipt and paid the balance.”
Me
I nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I did do that. What say you to that Mister Mephisto?
Satan
Sure you did; after you deliberated on it for a day or two. Don't tell me that you weren’t tempted by profiting from someone else’s loss. You’ve thought about taking bribes before too.
Tiny Angel
I don’t believe...
Me
I motioned my arm to shoosh her. “I got this. Yes, I’ve thought about trading in my SUV in for a hybrid too. Anytime I’ve have had unethical thoughts, I’m sure your little minions were in the room egging me on. I just didn’t know it.” I took another swig of brandy. “The bottom line is I’ve never have taken a bribe demon; and never will. You see; I’m for sale; not to you or anybody.”
Tiny Angel
The winged messenger folded her arms and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you see devil, he isn’t for sale.” The master of Hades blew a fireball, which rolled Tiny Angel back into the living room.
Me
“Dude, what did I say about the noise?” I placed my forefinger to my closed lips. What surprised me is the devil’s face became red with embarrassment.
Satan
“Sorry, sorry. Look, let’s not lose sight of the bigger picture.” Mister Scratch walked behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. “With you, I don’t think it’s a question of whether or not you would sell yourself, or heaven forbid your soul...”
Me
I interrupted Satan. “Don’t even think about it; I am not selling my soul.”
Satan
“Hear me out young man. Hear me out. With you, I think it’s a question of price. Why should you risk going to jail for something with minimal return? But I know you better than you know yourself.” The devil spun my chair around so that I was facing him. “I think for the right amount of money or power you would do just about anything.”
Me
“You’re quite right. I am capable of being very shrewd, vindictive and manipulative. I've stated in this book that I admire Machiavelli, and I used him to prove my points about planning. But I would act only in a cause that is moral or just. Ultimately, I look to your boss, you know, the heavenly father.” I puffed my cigar, blowing a smoke ring towards Lucifer. “Whether fairy story or not; I have faith in god’s grace.”
Satan
Satan put his feet up on my desk. “You think you’re smart enough to take me on? My office is decorated with the skulls of guys who had way bigger brains than yours. What do you think happened to your precious Machiavelli? Where do you think he wound up?” Mister Mephisto slammed his fist down on the desk. “He’s living in my zip code boy! If you want, I can introduce you to him too. As far as the concept of grace, that’s a pipe dream conjured up by the so-called apostles. They were men like you who were afraid of their own mortality. Let me give you a clue boychick, I have dominion over the earth. I am the best hope you to have for an afterlife. There is no Jehovah watching over the planet you fool.”
Me
Well then, that’s it. If there is no god, then it stands to reason that there is no devil.
Satan
Old Nick’s face became as pale as Jacob Marley’s ghost. “What?”
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