According to the latest news reports, country singer-songwriter, Willie "On The Road Again" Nelson and his sidekicks Poncho and Lefty...no wait a minute, it was his tour manager David Anderson and his sister Bobbie Nelson...were spared jail time in a court hearing held last week by pleading guilty to a misdemeanor count of marijuana possession.


The court hearing stemmed from an incident that happened on September 18, 2006 just a few miles east of Lafayette, Louisiana. According to several news reports, Nelson's bus was travelling along Interstate 10 at a lightning speed of two miles per hour, when it was stopped for a routine commercial inspection and the officer smelled what appeared to be the putrid odor of Pepi Le Pue.


The state trooper then searched the bus for the offending skunk and discovered about 1-1/2  pounds of marijuana and 91 grams of hallucinogenic mushrooms.  When confronted with the evidence and questioned about the large bag of weed and the psychedelic mushrooms, Nelson replied, "Man, I'm starved to death. You gonna eat that doughnut?"


Willie Nelson and four other passengers on the bus were cited for possession and released. In addition to being cited for possession the driver of the bus had his commercial driving privileges suspended and they all went to the nearest Waffle House where they ate happily for the next three hours while admiring all the pretty colors.


The court hearing last week resulted in Nelson and Anderson being fined $1,024 each. Both will be on probation for six months and while Nelson could have been sentenced to six months in jail, he was slapped severely across the wrist and ordered to wash his hair. He was also advised to combine both his braided locks into one long french braid down the back of his head. Nelson was heard whistling  "Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys...Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly Fond of Each Other," as he left the courthouse.


In light of this recent tragic state of affairs, Hollywood has, in a moment of sheer genius, decided to do something that has seldom been done before. They have made a movie from current events ripped straight from the headlines. The new movie promises to  be an even bigger box office hit than the movie "Snakes On A Plane". They have titled this newest cinema enema, "Roaches On A Bus".


The new box office phenomenon stars Martha Stewart and Donald Trump. Trump plays the part of the Roach and Stewart portrays the character, Martha, heiress to the Teflon potholder fortune, accused of murdering her father with a pot roast.


Critics who have reviewed "Roaches On A Bus" gave it a two thumbs up and one pointing sideways, calling it "the smokinest movie of the summer".


Nelson, 73, became famous in the 1970s as part of the outlaw country movement that included influences from rock, jazz and Julio Iglesias. Despite the rumors, Nelson says he does not plan on switching to Bluegrass. 


Nelson still remains an advocate for the legalization of potted meat. His sister, Bobbie Nelson was exonorated due to a plea agreement.  The driver of Willie Nelson's tour bus is now a passenger.