Second Sight?
When I think of the future, I think of the gift of second sight right away. The term "second sight", however, seems to be a poor name. I think that to be correct, we would call it pre-sight. I say this because seeing my brother's death a week before it happened means that I have the ability to see events before they occur, not afterwards. To me, the word "second" implies something that happens afterwards in a sequence of events. Therefore, second sight means knowledge of something that occurs after the actual incident, a power we all have, if we have knowledge of whatever took place.
I know that the real meaning of second sight is an additional human sense, in addition to our usual God given ones, that sees with the mind some impending events...but that name bothers me. I guess the reason I don't like it, is that for some of us, this ability is considered to be a gift; for others, it is a curse.
The main focus of this discussion is about the future. When you are one of us gifted, or cursed individuals, depending how you look at it, with the ability of second sight, or what I like to call pre-sight...the future can transform dreams into uncertainty and fear of what the future holds. I am one of those who don't consider my occasional ability to know ahead of time some of the horrors that are to come as being a gift, but a curse.
I know now there is a reason for the phenomenon, at least in my case. I lived six hundred miles away from my brother. As a fiction writer, I never dream...or at least never remember dreaming about family members. I only remember dreams of places and people that my imagination supplies for me. One night however, that all changed. I dreamt that my brother was shot in the chest exactly one week prior to his death. No assailant was identified, there was only one shot, out of nowhere...and then he fell to the ground dead, a hole in the right side of his chest. I leaned over his body, weeping and holding him.
Suddenly, the dream changed, and my brother walked into my mother's house where we grew up, as if nothing happened; dreams arefunny that way. I immediately screamed out to him, relieved he was alive, and ran up to him and hugged him tight. He still had a hole in his chest that leaked a steady, but slow stream of blood; dreams are not funny that way. I was not concerned with that; however, I was just glad he was alive. I kept hugging him fiercely and didn't want to let him go. He pushed me back, just enough to look me in
the eye, and gave me "the look". You know, that look from the movies where the hero who is about to die gives his loved ones that "I have bad news" look. He kept looking at me with sorrow filled eyes, sorrow for me it seemed, and said "Well, the doctors say it's just going to take a little while longer for me to die."
Then the dream was over. I awoke in a cold sweat and immediately called my mother who lived close to him. I told her about my dream, and she instantly asked, "Who's pregnant?". In the south, there is an old wives tale that a dream of death is an indication of a pregnancy. She assured me that he was fine. She also said she would call him to make sure, and of course she was right.
One week later, he became ill, went to the doctor. He was told he had a cold and to get rest and fluids, the ever popular line of "It's probably a virus.". He was in the ER the next morning, then dead that night. The toxic group A strep infection started in his right lung, completely filling it with infection. When I received the call from my sister that morning he went to the ER, telling me that mom had called her and they were taking him there, I knew...did not suspect, but knew, by the end of the day...he would be dead. I did not tell her this, as she seemed to think it was just a bad case of bronchitis and our mother was being overly worried about it.
Later, after the funeral, my mother told me that she had been having dreams for years about walking up to a casket and seeing her only son lying inside it, exactly as he looked before he died...hair peppered with gray, but still a very good looking man. When she started dreaming this, he had no gray hair.
It seems that this ability is perhaps passed down. She has seen much more, especially when there is a problem with her children. She would know, just before I was in an accident, or just before I was attacked, and many other times too numerous to count. Now that I have children of my own, I have encountered this same phenomenon as well.
Many unscrupulous fortune tellers who steal from those who are desperate may call it a gift; a gift to make money off of lies and the misfortune of others, or just the gift of being a con artist.
There is a big difference between the real deal and the "game" of claiming to know the future. When you really know that there is an invisible wooden baseball bat just behind you; one that an extremely strong invisible being is about to wield in order to knock your head off, metaphorically speaking, of course...well, that is a curse that is hard to live with. I suppose if I were given the ability to duck that swinging bat, I may see it in a different light; but unfortunately, that isn't how it works. Or if I could summon some deep psychic power at will to avoid minor or major catastrophes from happening...then, that would be some gift indeed.
It doesn't work that way, though...here in the real world. Instead it is more of a nuisance, much like Murphy's Law, which, by the way I do believe does exist. The scientific side of me longed to study it, but given the nature of the law itself, there would be no way to prove it...right?
The creative side of me runs away from any knowledge of what the future holds. I fear the day I see another loved one perish knowing that I can do nothing to stop it. I can never outrun it; however, because it is a part of me I must accept it. It is a window; a clandestine window into the future.
It doesn't matter how I obtained this ability, or even that I have it, given that it seems to have no purpose but to haunt me. It is peculiar to me sometimes that there are so many people who are afraid of the inevitable day to day changes in life. They must live in terror about their own unknown and possibly catastrophic changes that may descend on their own lives; it seems absurd that these individuals are so afraid of known events - the normal tides of change, such as changes at their job, changes in their financial status, etc. I guess how a person deals with any change, is merely a matter of perspective. I guess my view of my situation is that I have no choice, so I will just have to "roll with it".
Anyway I will wait patiently, until the next time I hear those ghostly footsteps fall quietly behind me, just before that whoosh of air, a foul air reeking of impending doom that blows through my hair, and makes my skin crawl. I will then stand once again in the shadow of some invisible force wondering what terrors I will someday face.
A someday that will unfortunately, most likely come sooner...rather than later.
Your Author's Den Friend,
E. A. Mourn
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