Share    Print   Save  Become a Fan

Hima Goblin

Hi every peeples,

Guess ya know that I spent sum time in the hospital in July ‘cause I didn’t have enuff Hima Goblins, but did ya ever wonder where Hima Goblins came from and what they did? Well, here’s the story:





Once upon a time…well, aktually, it waz more than a few upon a times, but the story starts off better with “Once upon a time….”

Once, upon a time, there waz a poor little goblin named Harry. He waz a funny sort of a goblin. While most goblins are ugly and scary, this little guy waz cute and cuddly. Oh, sure, he had pointy ears and a pointy nose. He even had the bumpity green skin like most of his brudders, but there waz sumthin’ 'bout him that made Harry cute and cuddly. I can’t imagine what, but it waz there.

Maybe, it waz the way he smiled when he saw the neighborhood human children playing. I guess it cud have been the way he always pulled in his long razor-sharp fingernails when he played with the humans or, it cuda been the way he always hid his teeth so he wudn’t scare the little kids when he climbed out from under the kids’ beds.

Whatever it waz, he waz cute and he wazn’t zactly like his brudders and that got him in lotsa trubble. Fak, all his ten of his brudders (and even his jerky little sister) picked on him and called him bad names all the time. You, know, things like “human lover” and “person pleaser” and other stuff like that.

Still, he waz a happy kind of goblin. Never had a bad word to say ‘bout any goblin, person or even gremlin (the goblins’ meaner, but cuter cuzin’s). Then, one day, poor Harry waz on his way home when sumgoblin grabbed him from behind and threw a blinding white sack over his head. See, goblins worked in the dark, so they cudn’t us a black sack, but white sacks fixed it so they cudn’t see. Then, four goblins grabbed Harry, yanked him off his feet and carried him rather ruffly to Goblinton Hall. That’s where the King lived.

When the goblins reached the hall, they dropped Harry headfirst on the floor and then jerked him back up on his feet. As his hands were being tied behind his back, Harry said, “Ya know, you cud have just dropped me on my feet. You didn’t really have to go to all the truble of dropping me on my head then picking me up again. By the way, anyone got an As…” The hood flew off his head and as he saw the great, ugly, King Terigoblin with his teeth bared at him, Harry’s voice trailed off, “…prin?”

“Harry Goblin,” came the booming voice of the King, “you are accused of betraying Goblinkind. Is this true?”

“Uh…I mean…w-w-well, I can’t possibly see how I cud have betrayed Goblinkind, your greatness…I mean your terribleness. I-I-I haven’t dun anything that I can think of that wud have hurt anyone. Uh, I wudn’t even hurt a human, much less a goblin,” Harry began.

“SEE,” came a shrill voice from behind Harry. “He is a traitor of the worst kind your ugliness. Wuldn’t hurt a human, indeed!!!! What kind of goblin wud care about a human?”

Harry cudn’t believe his pointy ears. It waz his own mother who waz accusing him of being a traitor. Why wud she say that about him?

“I HAVE HEARD ENUFF,” boomed the king’s voice. “Our laws require us to harm humans and any other creature of the Light. Harry Goblin, you are guilty by your own words. What do you have to say before I tell ya what I am gonna do with ya?”

“Uh…well..,” Harry began, but the king cut him off.

“I don’t want to hear it traitor,” boomed the king. “By the laws of our land, which I just made up cents no goblin has ever been this bad, I command that you be banished to the Light!!!!!!”

A collective GASP arose from the crowd. No goblin had ever been so severely punished before.

“Furthermore, I hereby pronounce you to be a ‘non-goblin’ and decree any goblin may attack you at anytime when they see you in the land of darkness.” With that, the goblins grabbed Harry and carried him to the edge of Goblinton, where they threw Harry through the gate and into the blinding white light of the human world. He closed his eyes, but still the white light burned thru his eyelids. He buried his face in the dirt to escape the painful light.

Only when night came, could Harry think to open his eyes again. Oh, dear. What will I do now? Harry wondered. See, a goblin may not need food or water to live, but he must have a purpose. Otherwise, he would die? I know,I will protect children from my brudders.

Harry went in search of a child to protect and came upon the room of a little boy named Chad. At three-years-old, Chad waz just old enuff for Harry’s brudders to start tormenting him when the lites went out at night.

After prayers that nite, Chad quickly fell asleep and his mother turned out the lights. Cruk, Harry’s oldest brudder snuck out from underneath Chad’s bed and waz just about to jump on him when Harry appeared between the two.

“Out of my way, non-goblin, or I’ll tear you apart,” Cruk growled.

Harry noticed Cruk did not appear to be kiddin’. “Not on your life Cruk. You will not harm this boy!!” Harry wazn’t kiddin’ either and Cruk found out how strong a good goblin cud be when takin’ care of a child.

Beaten and bloody, Cruk returned home, but the next nite waz different. The next nite, Cruk, his brudders and Harry’s jerky little sister came back. While Cruk and a cuple of his brudders beat Harry up, the rest tormented Chad. It waz so bad that Chad cudn’t sleep in his room for the next month.

Harry realized that he cudn’t fite all of goblinkind and quit his kid protectin’ job after he made Cruk promise to return to the “one kid, one goblin” rule. This left Harry with nuthin’ to do and sure death if he cudn’t find sumthin’ else to keep him busy. So, he decided he wud help Chad’s family by helpin’ Chad’s dad.

See, Chad’s dad made shoes, which waz very hard work. Harry figured if elves cud help other cobblers at nite, a goblin surely cud help Chad’s dad. The only problem waz that elves were made to put things together and, while goblins were real gud at doin’ things, what they were gud at doin’ waz breakin’ things. The next mornin’, every shoe in the shop waz torn up. Chad’s dad nearly died from all the catchin’ up he had to do.

Harry’s idea wazn’t completely bad, tho. See, Chad’s mom made cookies to sell in the shop. Sumtimes the cookies were gud and sumtimes they were bad. No one cud figure out why the cookies weren’t always gud until Harry noticed the spices didn’t always get spread evenly in the cookies. Harry decided this waz a job he cud do – make the spices go everywhere in the cookie that they shud.

It worked for a while, until one day when Harry saw that a freshly baked cookie wazn’t quite rite. As he got small and started puttin’ the spices in the rite place, Chad grabbed the cookie and ate it…Harry and all.

As he tumbled down to Chad’s tummy, Harry got real scared. What would he do now. He waz stuck in a little boy with nuthin’ to do.

Just then, Harry fell into the big lake in Chad’s tummy and started to float to a place called Blood Stream. That’s this little river that goes lots of places in the body to feed the rest of the body parts. Well, there waz this little guy called Oxy that seemed to be workin’ real hard.

“Whatcha doin’,” asked Harry.

“I am tryin’ to go to all the sells in this body and give them sum of the little Oxygens. That will keep them alive,” said Oxy.

“Looks like hard work,” said Harry.

“It is. First, I gotta travel a long way from a place called Lungs. Sekund, I gotta carry all these little Oxygens with my bare hands. They keep fallin’ out.”

“Here, let me help you,” said Harry and he formed his long pointy fingernails into a big bowl. All that day, he and Oxy delivered the Oxygens to the rest of Chad’s body parts. They were impressed. Never before had Heart and Liver and the rest of the parts gotten their Oxygens so quickly and so fresh. In fak, the Oygens were so fresh that they only needed half of what they needed before.

That nite, as the body parts slept, Oxy told Harry, “Hey, you're not half bad at this. I cud use a lot of guys like you around here. I bet my buddies in other bodies cud use guys like you too.”

Harry waz flattered, but said, “I thank you and I want to stay with you, but there really aren’t any more like me. I am afraid I am the only non-goblin around.”

After spendin’ all nite talkin’, Oxy and Harry came up with a plan. See, Harry knew one girl goblin who waz like him, but she did all the mean things other goblins did. She didn’t want to get in trubble. After a full day’s work the next day, Harry snuck out through a pore in Chad’s skin and snuck into Goblinton. He talked to Mary, the nice girl goblin all nite long until he talked her into comin’ with him.

The next day, Harry introduced Mary to Oxy. Oxy, being the chief of the body sells, asked Mary to marry Harry. She said, “Yes,” and Harry and Marry became husband and wife the next nite. Now goblins make little goblins real fast and by the next day, there were hundreds of little goblins around. They all worked hard and Oxy figured he had a great deal. Now all he had to do waz stay in Lungs and give the Oxygens to the Hima Goblins to carry around.

Yes, there were Hima Goblins and Hera Goblins, but it soon became clear that the body parts did not like dealing with too many different other Oxygen bringers. So, they all decided to just call themselves Hima Goblins. The Himas and Heras all looked the same to the body sells, so they were easily fooled.

Time passed, and bit by bit, the Hima Goblins became too numerous to live in just one body. So, every once in a while, when enuff Hima Goblins were borned, a bunch left to find new bodies to help. When they got into all the livin’ peeples, they started jumpin’ into little babies as they were borned. So far enuff babies is borned to keep the Hima Goblins from fillin other peeples up. The only problem is when a bunch of Hima Goblins leave a person, the person gets real tired for a while, but then more Himas are made and the person feels gud again.

The one gud thing ‘bout havin’ lots of Hima Goblins in ya is that the bad goblins can’t hurt ya anymore. See, when ya gots millions of Hima Goblins in ya, there aren’t enuff goblins in Goblinton to fite all the Hima Goblins in even one body.

Guess Harry won after all, huh?

So why did I have ta go to the hospital? Well, the thing I didn’t tell ya was that the bad goblins gets friends in the body parts sumtimes and those friends can be stronger than the Hima Goblins. When that happens, the Hima Goblins get eaten and need help fitin’ the bad goblins’ friends. That’s when ya gotta go get more blood with stronger Hima Goblins and also get sum stairoid stuff to make your own Hima Goblins stronger.

Betcha didn’t know that, did ya?