Yes--self published or not, we writers all seem to end up in the same boat when it comes to promoting our books. I guess it's because of the vast number of books out there--quite overwhelming to think about. That's why I don't think about it. At least--not in a way that crushes my motivation altogether.

Not a talented saleswoman by nature, I've tried to get exposure for my book with an online presence--a thoughtfully designed Website, Twitter, a blog, etc. It takes a lot of time and energy, something that is so precious in a writer's day, but I know it's an important part of the writing process if you want your work to be seen! And it can be effective, believe it or not, if you treat it as an ongoing mission.

Each of us is better at one thing than another--some fear book signings and speaking in front of groups, others embrace it.  If you're fortunate enough to have the time and funds to travel, there are wonderful group events going on in many parts of the country that allow chances to meet other writers and highly respected representatives in the field. Although those things can and will certainly help to inspire and promote, there are so many other relatively new and innovating ways.
I'm always awed by those who seem to master those things so easily and effectively. Todd Fonseca, another AD author, is a shining example. Maybe you've seen his site:  

http://tagmybookonamazon.wordpress.com/

As a writer you can appreciate his enthusiasm and drive for his craft. But he seems to go way above and beyond just his own journey of self-promotion, eagerly helping other writers along the way with leading edge information, tips--even reviews. Yes, in the end it does help to further his own exposure, but that he truly cares about other writers and their work is not to be doubted.

Of course, not all of us can do what he does, and on such a large scale. My point is that if we make the effort to look, there is a bounty of helpful information out there, in whatever form--it just takes a little effort to find it, and if you're lucky you'll happen upon a wealth of information already compiled for you. Then you can take what seems valuable for you, apply it as needed, and maybe even help someone else along the way, too. 

It's nice to know and correspond with other writers, no matter their aspirations or the genre of their work. We can all learn something from each other. Self promotion may be a very competitive task, but we don't have to go it completely alone.