French Toast Eggs
edited: Sunday, November 23, 2003
By anne cunningham
Posted: Sunday, November 23, 2003
Become a Fan
A fun family, all hands on deck, recipe for brunch or brinner.
WHAT YOU WILL NEED:
-A crowd. Children work best. Or anyone who is a "kid at heart."
bread to cube- Set aside, one stack of bread, cubed. The size of the stack is in direct relationship to the number of onlookers who will soon become consumers. Homemade or a day old bread is best because it is somewhat stiffer and holds the cubed shape better when cutting the whole stack. Wheat, white or any other variation works well.
-Eggs, Grade A extra-large. The number will vary. You will need to eye up the cubes and decide how much egg batter you will need to coat (but not drown)the cubes. The cubes, remember, you guesstimated in correspondence with the number of consumers.
-Spices to taste: Sugar (brown or white or both), cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla, etc.
-Chilled butter. Keep in fridge until needed.
YOU ARE READY TO BEGIN:
1-Let the crowd, who has likely gathered, help crack the eggs. You will be surprised how many volunteers you will get if you ask for help on this. Too many cooks could never spoil this pudding, but none will stay around to help you clean the kitchen. Keep this in mind, or you will be cranky later.
2-Set aside ten minutes to get all the shells out of the cracked mass of eggs. Leave a few in because that will give someone good reason later to say, "Hey, is that an egg shell or did I break a tooth?"
3-Add a splash of vanilla to the egg mixture along with nutmeg, cinnamon and sugar ... to taste.
4-Beat mixture again or allow one of the kids to beat the eggs a second time. If there is a fight over who is getting to whip the eggs, whisk the volunteers into the far corners of the room, using your "wonder whisk" as the magic wand it truly is. In hard core cases, you may have to threaten to beat them like the eggs, but this is usually not the case.
5-Remove chilled butter from the fridge.
6-Find a really big wooden spoon for scooping and other events to come. Warm it inside the oven mitt, you already have lodged in your left armpit.
7-Place a good frying pan next to the stove in readiness.
TAKE A DEEP CLEANSING BREATH AND CONTINUE:
1-Fire up the front burner to HIGH right off. Turn on the stove fan.
2-Place one child at the patio door to open in case the smoke alarm goes off, and place another child under the smoke alarm on the step stool to hit the reset button after the alarm has stopped.
3-Ask the other guests, please, not to scream.
4-If there is a third child or guest, place them at the telephone stand, reminding them it is 9-1-1 and not "9-eleven," as many a home has burned to the ground while a child searched for the "11" on the key pad.
READY AIM FIRE:
1-Put the pan on the red HOT burner with one hand.
2-With the other hand, and a wooden spoon, scoop out a giant mound of butter into the frying enough, large enough to saute the cubes you have set aside. There should be butter enough to coat and brown, not to float the cubes.
3-The butter will melt down quickly, so stir like mad with the wooden spoon. (Encourage onlookers to do so from a distance. Butter could "spit" because pan should be good and HOT
4-With your third hand, grab the cutting board with the pile of cubed bread and slide it all off into the frying pan.
5-Steady the frying pan with your fourth hand, stir madly and toss the cubes with your fifth, until all cubes are coated in butter and browning at a quick pace.
6-When the cubes have reached what you would call the "toasted crouton state," with your sixth hand, grab the bowl of whipped eggs and pour over the crisped cubettes. The eggs will sear to the bread cubes as you toss. Smaller bits of eggs will jump and dance in the hot pan, transforming into "teeny egg bits." Like a confectioner, you will be able to eye up this stage of the game as well.
7-Continue to brown and warm evenly, tossing madly and wiping your brow with your seventh hand.
8-If there seems to be time, and the smoke alarm isn't going off, take a bow.
9-Before you stand up again, and with your eighth hand, shut off the front burner and remove the pan from the stove.
10-Keep tossing the mixture as you carefully move towards the plates that hopefully someone has lined up.
11-Topple all the golden cubes onto the plates, pretending to eye it up so no one gets more or less, but really spilling it all out haphazardly because there is a bigger lesson in the fact that "life is not fair."
12-If it comes out right, what lands on the plates will be a mixture of browned and yellowed cubes, crunchy on the outside, soft and bready within, and also little bits of crisp and browned sweetened egg.
13-Drizzle syrup over the whole mess, pour the juice and consider the event a success if nobody at the table is talking and all mouths are full. If this is the case, pat yourself on the back with all eight of the hands that you really don't have ... because you are a mere mortal mom or dad with only two flippers just like everyone else.
14-Enjoy! (the most important step)
Want to review or comment on this article?
Click here to login!
Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!