I can't remember what all I told you exactly. Age does that to you. Start today afresh. Live in the moment. Fluidity helps us with the sand always shifting in our paths. It is needful to expect the unexpected to survive. Too old is not too undesirable in the 21st Century. Age is just a number. Unbracket your self-image from tradition. Learn to live and love the real you. Not many could have survived. Tears optional. Healing. OK.
Tactfully, I had to let go of everything. Family, friends, my past, as much as pratically possible. I care for Bridget because she is dear to me and she will die otherwise. Besides, she said she would do it for me. OTHERWISE my old life and relationships are dead to me. I test the waters to see if the old people in my life, family, friends, acquaintenances respond in like kind. If not, then they are dead. If they do indicate by actions that they are interested in being a part of my life, then I consider it a new relationship, starting over and evaluate them and apply the same rules to those I would meet on the Internet, trust no one. Trust no one at least until your common sense tells you to do it, and then only a little at a time. That doesn't mean everybody gets the same treatment either. You have to apply yourself to each relationship on its on merit. Do you understand? Individually, on a case-by-case basis with everything and everyone, as manager of your own life you have to run your own business. Take no prisoners!
In the mean time, stop looking for a man (or a woman) and just live your life filling it up from within. External satisfaction is dependent on the weather and the reasons and rathers of others, or what delicacy is available when you crave it. If you are attracted to it and find the fruit desirable fine, eat it. It is better to be the best you possible and then good things will come your way. Pick easily from the low hanging vine and the grapes will taste even sweeter.
You will have the option of rejecting or accepting them on your own terms. Also, feel free to change your mind. Your decisions are not always tied to a lifetime contract, especially when the conditions change that originally were what made you agree to things in the first place.
Be a whole person and your attractiveness will be tough to deny. Continue to learn about yourself and build your confidence and brand power, like the economy of the times demand. A good product will sell itself. Be that product by being the best person you can be for you. If you like you then others will too. Trust yourself. Trust God. Then stop worrying and let it go. When the music stops at the end of the day, you do too.
I have to travel down my own road. Maybe our paths will cross. I wish you peace and happiness in your journey!