When you became engaged you began your life together. You planned the wedding and probably agonized over every little detail of the blessed event. During the planning phases and all of the excitement you dreamed and planned your future together. Although in the back of your mind you knew it was possible, you never dreamed this day would come. You thought that you would be married forever. You envisioned yourself living the life partnered with the one that you swore you would love though all stages of your life. Yet still here you are, in the midst of a divorce and you have no idea what lies ahead of you. There are many questions and decisions to sort out.
Perhaps the biggest question when dealing with a divorce is how does one adjust to being single again? The answer to this question is, very slowly. Your life is changing very quickly. Your dreams and hopes for the future and growing old with that one special person have just been tossed out the window. It would not be a good idea to accomplish every aspect of becoming single again in one shot. You did not jump into marriage the first day you met your spouse so you will not be able to leave that easily either.
Sometimes the first instinct of one who recently went through a divorce is to jump in and get out into the world again. The only problem is that they may be terrified at the thought of this. Although they realize it is a necessity in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle the mere thought of being single again sends some people into a tailspin.
There is a lot more to living single than just dating. Some examples of things that will change are:
- The meals suddenly become for one less, therefore you will need to learn to cook and buy accordingly.
- You will have to get used to sleeping alone. In some situations, the marriage may have already progressed to the point of separate beds.
- You will only have a hill for laundry and not a mountain.
- Your taxes will definitely change. This will quite possibly be the biggest change. Everything you once knew about taxes will for the most part totally change. It is best to seek professional help with this one.
- You will need a new bank account with only your name on it.
- You will no longer have to worry about how much someone is spending on your credit card.
- You will need to change your medical insurance to include just yourself and/or children if there are any.
- If you have children, you will most likely find yourself with every other weekend free.
- A positive change is that you will have total control of the remote control. This can be very important.
This list is only the tip of the iceberg. Therefore, it is important to take things slowly and ease your way into some of them. Some of these changes will be instant but with time and proper care to yourself, you will adjust to the single life and may actually learn to love it. After all, this is the time when you will begin to look for the one that you were supposed to be with all along. The one that you can share those dreams and plans with once again. Until that time comes remember to embrace your new single life but most of all, have some fun.