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Alvin C. Romer

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Making the Right Decisions in Selecting a Soul Mate
By Alvin C. Romer   
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last edited: Thursday, August 13, 2009
Posted: Thursday, August 13, 2009

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How well do we make the right choices in our selection of the men and women we marry? This is both an objective and subjective view of one man's opinion...


Sometimes you are just confused as to whether you really love the person you are dating or it is mere attraction, and it is difficult to make a decision. Questions abound and you don't know how can you be so sure that you’ve picked the right one? Well, the first thing that should be done is ask yourself why you have the love for the person you’re with? A better understanding of your heart and what it says should not be understated. For instance, does your heart beat for your partner? Do you feel totally devastated when he is not around? You should know the difference between love and infatuation. Blind love is not an option and shouldn’t be part of this equation. 

More often than not there comes times when we see in our paths that one person that seemingly is for us, and we put ourselves in position to allow what we see to believe without full scrutiny. In all aspects of life we are generally judged by the choices we make, and in some cases by choices we DON’T make. Discernible options that are ours places us in precarious positions when we are not equipped to be prominent in those choices, and not positioned favorably to take advantage. With this in mind, we have to live in harmony with Christ’s mandate for holy matrimony. This is part of His Divine plan for our salvation. The gist of this essay then, are lessons derived at how we should make the right decisions, live the type of life that would exemplify good works, and allow self, family and community to be part of all of the aforementioned. The lessons gives opportunities for reconciliation and a better understanding choosing partners for life! But how can we go about the business of finding the ones apropos for good lifetime relationships?

Throughout history time has shown us what happens when we don’t go beyond status quo or look deep within in lieu of opting only for surface matters to color our palette. Having the right person in your life is liken to relating to that which is a deep metaphor for your soul to reverberate and be sharing of the things that God has envision for that person to be one with you. I will refer to thematic overview for subjective interpretation as ‘soul mates’ when referring to those that should align themselves for a congruent relationship. 

Our soul mates are not progenitive to just the opposite sex, but can come from all walks of life. All things are not equal in degrees of development. There’s differences in the emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of how we choose our friends and  acquaintances. Sometimes these relationships can be intense depending on our souls connecting from the past without allowing it to undermine the advantages of futuristic progress as opposed to possessing a regressive mind. So the question still remains, how do you choose the right partner? I’ve formulated a few tips that I find to be important to help one understand the true essence of love and help you make decisions as to choosing the right soul mate. 

Common Interests -- For a compatible relationship the couple should have common interests...interests that both find engaging.  There should be no inhibitions or compromises. When two people have different interests, one person usually ends up sacrificing their desires for the other person in order to live a happy life, or end up living completely separate lives. Therefore to avoid any future complications and creating egotistical  issues, it’s better to analyze your interests and desires for a perfect match. 

Ambitions -- Never let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t pursue goals that may be ordained from God. Healthy ambition can help any relationship prosper. I find it so necessary to preserve your individuality and make it clear that you too, have a life and ambition worth the sake of the relationship. Find out whether your partner are comfortable with dual goal-setting initiatives.  Would your partner be willing to let you have that career you have always wanted? 

Intellect -- This is important and should be one of the things that you look for in choosing your soul mate. Does the intellect levels match?  It is very difficult to communicate with a dull or insensitive person who may not be willing to reason. Ask these questions to yourself: when you talk to him/her, are the wave lengths the same? How long does it take for questions to be answered adequately? Can the both of you really talk about absolutely anything? This may sound crazy but imagine living your entire life with someone who doesn't understand you and who frustrates you to no end by lack of communication? 

Principles -- Deep-seated morals and ethics should be inherent in forming a base for truth and spiritual resolve. If one of you are resilient in this mode without your partner sharing the same sense of being, there will be problems in your relationship. Establishment in a strong belief system is paramount to stability  and must be straightened out before plunging into marriage.

The key to a better understanding in our choices is to know beyond reproach that having the ability to discern whom shall you trust, to what degree and how to manifest ‘thus sayeth the Lord’ precepts are important.  I’ve come to believe that all of our soul mates have one thing in common -- they come into our lives to teach us lessons in compassion, forgiveness and in an unconditional love of ourselves and each other. Sometimes these relationships are challenging and painful; sometimes we are victimized; and sometimes we are the very ones who are prone to show the other person how to find the path back to the Godhead.  Once we know the definitive aspects of how soul mates can be positive and progressive in our lives, we will be better off in all things spiritual! 


Web Site: The Romer Review

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