I have been married for sixteen years and I remember the passionate beginnings of our love. When my husband seemed larger than life and I reveled in each touch. I easily overlooked any minor flaws and only saw the great good within him and around him. As the years go by, our friendship has deepened and we have one of those comfortable relationships where we often know what the other is thinking without even talking. Recently, I have noticed that I have been frustrated with him. I seem to be finding many irritating habits. Yet, of course, I want him to be in my life.  Upon some deep reflecting, I thought about how when we met, I wanted to love him-I wanted to be in love with him. Then my thoughts turned to myself and I realized that I have total control over what irritates me. Then my mind turned to the truth of how virtually all of our lives are created in our own minds. I had created an irritation that had little to do with him. He is basically the same person (of course some personal growth has occurred), yet I was suddenly finding fault. The problem was not him-it was me. I can choose to overlook the small minor irritating things and see the truly good things, again. I am not saying that people should put up with horrible, abusive relationships. I am saying that we have control over ourselves and our perspectives. So if you are in a comfortable and reasonably happy relationship- you can make it even better through choosing to focus on the positive aspects of the person that you love. Remember, that all romantic moments, first begin with the thoughts that you think and are then followed by an action. Create inspirational and loving thoughts and you will then act more loving. I am reminded that love is a verb-an action. Love is something that you do.