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harbinder singh panesar

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HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE DURING POWER-SHIFT
by harbinder singh panesar   
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Last edited: Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Posted: Tuesday, May 18, 2010

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harbinder singh panesar

Power Language (women body language)
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A glimpse into the post marital discord or psychological strife which may result from relative lack of intimacy in a marriage when little children could be the cause of boundless egos of you and your spouse....

 

 

HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE DURING POWER-SHIFT :ACQUIRED CREATIVE POWER: The number of American women working outside home is getting higher day by day bringing on a shift or conflict in their relationship wandith imminent signs of power-struggle between men and women  as it gets harder to give up on the power you have been holding on or clinging to for so long living together.This scenario in which you(women) go out and work and the household work gets delegated to your husband(men)may naturally lead to a shift or schism when a wife/you bring home a paycheck  and declare/s she/you too has/have a right to a say in any family decisions.On the other hand if a non-working woman has such aright it may be due to her husband’s love or generosity. Perspectively as a working wife you do not have to depend on male/your husband ‘s –generosity as you are well aware of the taste of power and do have a growing realization that giving it up would not be an easy proposition , demanding of you to very carefully balance your assigned role(by parents or society) of a mother and children-raiser and homemaker with the authority and power that you have acquired after years of doing the job you got after a hard work and running your department steadily brings a”change” over you that you start liking after all that “YES,JOHN” routine.If  you are a typical carried-off type chances are , you may end-up divorced or socially-miscast and neglecting your husband or kids in the long run.To avoid this dead-end , the (woman ) you can NEGOTIATE , as long as you still find trust between the two of you.It can be realized by him (THE MAN) how her(THE WOMAN’’S) ”Your “ work changed (her) you making you a different person who is assertive, sure of yourself, very determined,not weak,perceptive to changes around her ….in YOUR CONTEXT… A subtle shift in family power suddenly happens ,A SHIFT THAT  is going on all over the U.S. and can be seen as a part of the great changes that have come over the World(CIVILISATIONAL)  by FORCES that may be Global,National,Geo-political, Individual,Bio-ecological AS ENVISIONED by author Alvin Toffler in his book The POWER SHIFT.In the simple husband as a bread-winner, the power naturally resides with husband and all decisions revolve around his needs ,job and comfort.In such a situation he makes it harder to you(women)  by not only refusing to share the housework , becomes sloppy and over-demanding and sees YOUR(wife’s) work as a rejection of his dominion or sovereignity RATHER THAN as help to the family and healthy power-sharing. The ultimate solution in any situation where both of you work must agreeably BE AN EQUAL SPLIT in power with the RESPONSIBILITY and DECISION-MAKING  MORE EQUAL ,with “EVERYTHING MADE NEGOTIABLE’’ ,MUTUALLY AGREED UPON IN CONCENSUS , your insistence on his respecting your bit of say in matters you previously remained silent on….all this JUST YO MAKE YOUR WORK contrasted with a situation where the marriage breaks –UP and YOU(THE WIFE) ARE/ IS LEFT ALONE ON YOUR/HER OWN TO MAKE THE ENDS MEET WITHOUT any means of support,or FINANCIAL POWER. MAKE SURE YOU KEEP the communications line open ..REGULARLY DISCUSSING  with him about HOW YOU FEEL in the present situation  AND SUGGESTING A CHANGE IN ROLE WITHOUT DIRECTLY MAKING a statement of YOUR DESIRE AND NEED for control and your FAIR SHARE of power….before You consult a counsellor  OR ASK A   PSYCHOTHERAPIST for a SOLUTION TO your problem

 

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