POWER LANGUAGE (WOMEN BODY LANGUAGE) HOW TO GET AND USE POWER ASSERTIVELY By Harbinder 1. A recent research study found out that women all over United States enroll for courses and seminars that supposedly teach them how they can be assertive and use power in workplace and in everyday lives. We see power plays as traditionally and predominantly male domain and their prerogative. Are you among those many women who generally spend their hard-earned money taking courses that promise them miraculously to learn how to climb the success ladder right to top ,and fast through popular theories of corporate gamesmanship and latest motivational techniques in a male dominated business world, and surprisingly they learn these, BUT END UP as top –notch graduates of these seminars still using stock phrases asking far from real or experienced, abstract questions ? … Women, as it happens, are aware of the power plays men use to get ahead in career or business ,and willingly spend money on expensive seminars, organized workshops or courses to learn them BUT JUST FORGET THAT MERELY LEARNING TECHNIQUES without first getting attuned to the real and practical problem LADEN BUSINESS PRACTICES ,and as a result START PLAYING the same manipulative games that men occasionally engage in. 2. INSPITE OF THESE training – programmes that are excellently well managed and self-sufficiently complete talent-spotters THE ONES WHO ACTUALLY move up the career ladder are those of you who concentrate on developing their already acquired innate skills and talent ,inner traits like dependability, trust –building, patience, confidence, determination or sheer grit or even gut, which in expert parlance is termed learning your ropes well. What it boils down to is to make you wonder as to what is it that sets YOU APART FROM OTHERS (MEN).... is it YOUR WALK, your POSTURE, gestures, the time you hold other person’s gaze OR SIMPLY the way you shake HANDS , or HOW YOU ENTER your BOSS’ CABIN. 3. Tapping these skills and the talent that lies latent or dormant can help you to afar greater extent in acquiring power and balance it with class and poise to use it to their advantage, and it can’t be TAUGHT by any expert or through some seminar. You have to learn that the manipulative power you are to master for use in life and the creative power you have are different and consequently you are likely to be judged by your creative power.According to a survey about half of all American women work in jobs outside the home, the available Department Of Commerce statistics show that only about seven percent of these women earn $15,ooo to $20,ooo or more annually while forty percent of all men working make salaries higher than this and hold seventy –eight percent of all managerial jobs. 4. Today half of all American women work. Tomorrow it may be higher. Eventually a shift or conflict may come in their relationship resulting in power–struggle between men and women , BUT IT WILL not COME EASY as no group in power is willing to give up its share of power easily.... making you want to take steps to be at par with your counterpart maintaining and retaining the fine balance in personal life situations....ESPECIALLY PROFESSIONALLY. IT WOULD BE a good decision to enroll in courses (mentioned above)/seminars to help you out in those conflicting and contrary situations where THIS DISPARITY OF IDEAS becomes evident. Another good idea is to read voraciously on this subject or acquaint yourself with the autobiographies or power-speak books written by women in power like Hillary Clinton’s Living History-Carly Fiorina-Oprah Winfrey: books on Body Language by Allan Pease and Barbara Pease-Power of Subconscious (26 to 46 Ways to become Successful),Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill-Julius Fast-Gale Sheehy-OR even Shere Hite (Report on sexual difference and its uniqueness). You must also watch such persons speak and act on TV News Shows/Chat Programmes to learn some aspects by observing their behavior intently. 5.Meditation or calming techniques is another option you can try by joining such classes wherever they are available. There are also neuron doubling and IQ increasing methods in which your memory enhances making the brain grow magically in organisations like Mensa and you can easily join it’s How To Get Smarter In A Week program. Afterall power lies in Knowledge really. Afterthought: A BASIC UNDERSTANDING (MEN AND WOMEN THINK- “DIFFERENTLY’’)....They might not agree but men and women do think “differently”. A study found there are subtle genetic variations in their brains. Hundreds of genes are identified by researchers and geneticians which keep on switching on and off in their respective brains, a finding suggesting many behaviour patterns accepted as typical of each sex to be founded on nature and nurture. ACCORDING TO…the researchers, a good many mental traits and skills differ between men and women. They are empathy, aggression, risk-taking, navigation and the qualities valued most in a sexual partner. Moreover, men and women also differ in their approach to finding sexual partners. Men generally place a higher value on youth and good looks , while women are often more attracted by status, the study found. Based on this you may enlighten yourself as to how you should prepare yourself for behavioral changes to cope up smartly with ever growing need for POWER and the struggle that ensues living with men in peace. To conclude in PART-2. HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE DURING POWER-SHIFT :ACQUIRED CREATIVE POWER: The number of American women working outside home is getting higher day by day bringing on a shift or conflict in their relationship wandith imminent signs of power-struggle between men and women as it gets harder to give up on the power you have been holding on or clinging to for so long living together.This scenario in which you(women) go out and work and the household work gets delegated to your husband(men)may naturally lead to a shift or schism when a wife/you bring home a paycheck and declare/s she/you too has/have a right to a say in any family decisions.On the other hand if a non-working woman has such aright it may be due to her husband’s love or generosity. Perspectively as a working wife you do not have to depend on male/your husband ‘s –generosity as you are well aware of the taste of power and do have a growing realization that giving it up would not be an easy proposition , demanding of you to very carefully balance your assigned role(by parents or society) of a mother and children-raiser and homemaker with the authority and power that you have acquired after years of doing the job you got after a hard work and running your department steadily brings a”change” over you that you start liking after all that “YES,JOHN” routine.If you are a typical carried-off type chances are , you may end-up divorced or socially-miscast and neglecting your husband or kids in the long run.To avoid this dead-end , the (woman ) you can NEGOTIATE , as long as you still find trust between the two of you.It can be realized by him (THE MAN) how her(THE WOMAN’’S) ”Your “ work changed (her) you making you a different person who is assertive, sure of yourself, very determined,not weak,perceptive to changes around her ….in YOUR CONTEXT… A subtle shift in family power suddenly happens ,A SHIFT THAT is going on all over the U.S. and can be seen as a part of the great changes that have come over the World(CIVILISATIONAL) by FORCES that may be Global,National,Geo-political, Individual,Bio-ecological AS ENVISIONED by author Alvin Toffler in his book The POWER SHIFT.In the simple husband as a bread-winner, the power naturally resides with husband and all decisions revolve around his needs ,job and comfort.In such a situation he makes it harder to you(women) by not only refusing to share the housework , becomes sloppy and over-demanding and sees YOUR(wife’s) work as a rejection of his dominion or sovereignity RATHER THAN as help to the family and healthy power-sharing. The ultimate solution in any situation where both of you work must agreeably BE AN EQUAL SPLIT in power with the RESPONSIBILITY and DECISION-MAKING MORE EQUAL ,with “EVERYTHING MADE NEGOTIABLE’’ ,MUTUALLY AGREED UPON IN CONCENSUS , your insistence on his respecting your bit of say in matters you previously remained silent on….all this JUST YO MAKE YOUR WORK contrasted with a situation where the marriage breaks –UP and YOU(THE WIFE) ARE/ IS LEFT ALONE ON YOUR/HER OWN TO MAKE THE ENDS MEET WITHOUT any means of support,or FINANCIAL POWER. MAKE SURE YOU KEEP the communications line open ..REGULARLY DISCUSSING with him about HOW YOU FEEL in the present situation AND SUGGESTING A CHANGE IN ROLE WITHOUT DIRECTLY MAKING a statement of YOUR DESIRE AND NEED for control and your FAIR SHARE of power….before You consult a counsellor OR ASK A PSYCHOTHERAPIST for a SOLUTION TO your problem