Though our approaches may vary, there is little debate as to what prayer is. It is the means by which we communicate with our heavenly Father. The question for most is not “What is prayer?” but “How shall I pray?” Even the apostles needed some guidance in this area. Thank goodness, they looked to Jesus for answers. Jesus began His workshop by telling the disciples how not to pray. He told them not to follow the example of the Pharisees who took their loud, lofty prayers wherever they could find an audience. Then there were the pagans who were big on repetitious prayers. Jesus steered the apostles away from this approach as well. The Pharisees and the pagans did have one thing in common. In each case their prayers were highly impersonal. Neither group directed their prayers upward. The Pharisees prayed to be idolized while pagans idolized carved images through prayer. Neither can be considered conversation. Idols don’t speak, nor do Pharisees listen. I fear this may be true of countless Christians. Many don’t allow God to speak, nor are they listening when they pray. A popular prayer in some groups is ”my will be done.” Though these may not be their exact words, their demands make it clear that this is what they are after. Others favor ancient formula prayers where they recite some canned gibberish over and over again. Both create distance. It is a distance that can only grieve the heart of God. To some extent I understand how He must feel, because I also have children. If my kids only came to me when they wanted something, I’d feel used and unappreciated. Then again, if they recited words not their own over and over again, and that’s all I ever heard from them, I would feel unloved. God longs for fellowship. He wants a relationship that is intimate, personal and meaningful. Prayer is not the means by which we gain favor from above. That is why pagans pray, to win some silly god’s approval. Faith has already gained us our Lord’s approval. Faith has brought us into a right relationship with Him. Now that we’re friends we can talk.

Excerpt from 'That I May Know You' 2008