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Ian R Thorpe

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Books
· Age Of Certainty

· Age Of Certainty

· Blöd Ties

· The Best Of Boggart Blog (vol 1)

· Dimensions of Mystery

· A Two Faced Poet

· Millennium Dawn (anthology)

· A Stroke of Luck


Short Stories
· Bloodaxe Corner

· The Kiss

· Psycho Benefit Fraud

· The Vegetarian Shoemaker Of Barking

· Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #7

· Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #3 (Adult Humour)

· The King of the Ribble Delta Blues Singers (humour)

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 19

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 18

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 17


Articles
· Freedom Of Speech And Information - Why It Is So Important

· The Science Fraud: Many Scientific Research Papers Are Pure Gobbledegook

· Maybe You Should Think About Getting a Tinfoil Hat After all

· Merry Atheistmas

· High Brasil: Fairy Tale Or Atlantis

· Captive Minds And Intellectual Cowardice

· Is The Universe Helping Us Think

· Deliberately Wrecking Our Environment

· Why War Is Inevitable

· Helping The Mind Cope With Stress


Poetry
· We Made Love

· The Hands Of Old People

· Time Travellers

· The Pompous Toad

· Bye Bye Blackbird (parody)

· Sleepless Nights Of A Little boy

· Fitness Fanatics Blues

· The Goddess - Anima Mundi

· Spider

· Different Clothes

         More poetry...
News
· Seasons Greetings

· Poetry Life and Times Interviews Janet Caldwell

· Ian Thorpe on Christian Radio. Unbelieveable

· Season's Greetings

· July Poetry Life and Times

· Poetry Life and Times

· Ian's Audio online at last (specially for halloween)

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The war on terror is ongoing as our elusive enemy constantly devises new and more effective weapons to undermine the west by spreading fear and panic. Read here Boggart Blog's report on the latest.

There is no doubt about it, the threat of being harmed by a terrorist attack in coming closer to our homes all the time. Terror as a political weapon works by spreading fear and panic of course and the chances of actually being harmed is very small. Even so is would be foolish to court disaster by ignoring the activities of people of Evelyn Tent.

Last month Boggart Blog brought you news of the dangers to you family and your Christmas dinner posed by a new terrorist weapon, exploding gravy. This highly volatile slurry could be detonated by exposure to radiation in your microwave oven. Now we but caution you to be vigilant towards the threat of a new weapon of mass paranoia, the exploding cheese bomb.

Yesterday we learned the international terrorist group Al Dharifarmur have developed a new lactose based plastic explosive that looks, tastes and smells like soft cheese. A suspected suicide skier was intercepted at Geneva airport, Switzerland trying to smuggle a pack of Reblochon, a rather runny cream cheese from The Alps into France. The cheese is classified by international security agencies as a dangerous liquid. Today we picked up on an news agency report about a terrorist carrying a Camembert being arrested at Schipol airport, Holland, on his way to Amsterdam. Although the cheese was found to be non explosive the man was required to surrender two jars of incendiary chilli paste.

So far we know of no incidents involving British nationals and the smuggling of Wensleydale or Maure Stilton. Perhaps this is because hard cheeses though potentially more destructive can only be detonated by having a beam of electrons fired at them or perhaps it is simply that Wallace and Grommet fans just do not look like terrorists. We suspect though if anybody tried to get a morsel of Stinking Bishop on board an international flight all hell would break loose.

“Blessed are the Cheesemakers” my arse. Thery’re a bunch of murderous fanatics.

Boggart Blog's report on Exploding Gravy
How to make Exploding Gravy

 

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Reader Reviews for "Exploding Cheeses Of Terror"


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Reviewed by Kalikiano Kalei 1/16/2009
This is all simply shocking to hear, of course! However clever these fiends are, though, I seriously doubt if they could ever convert Venezuelan Beaver Cheese into an explosive substance (Monte Python must have researched this possibility in their 'Cheese Shop' skit and ruled it out long ago...). This does not address the lethal possibilities of a homemade terrorist 'Edam Bomb', nor does it alleviate our fears about a terrorist suicide marathon runner near the border with Finland stumbling and being barely able to Limburger the Finnish line with his exploding vest. As for the arcane theory about possible use of Swiss cheese to concoct gelatinous terrorist bombs, it's absolutely full of holes! (Just the thought of that sinister idea makes me Cheddar with horror!). Gasp! :)
Reviewed by John Martin 1/7/2009
Thanks for sharing Ian. That explains why there's a crator in my basement floor where I put the mouse trap.

Books by
Ian R Thorpe



Blöd Ties





A Stroke of Luck





Millennium Dawn (anthology)

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