There is no doubt about it, the threat of being harmed by a terrorist attack in coming closer to our homes all the time. Terror as a political weapon works by spreading fear and panic of course and the chances of actually being harmed is very small. Even so is would be foolish to court disaster by ignoring the activities of people of Evelyn Tent.
Last month Boggart Blog brought you news of the dangers to you family and your Christmas dinner posed by a new terrorist weapon, exploding gravy. This highly volatile slurry could be detonated by exposure to radiation in your microwave oven. Now we but caution you to be vigilant towards the threat of a new weapon of mass paranoia, the exploding cheese bomb.
Yesterday we learned the international terrorist group Al Dharifarmur have developed a new lactose based plastic explosive that looks, tastes and smells like soft cheese. A suspected suicide skier was intercepted at Geneva airport, Switzerland trying to smuggle a pack of Reblochon, a rather runny cream cheese from The Alps into France. The cheese is classified by international security agencies as a dangerous liquid. Today we picked up on an news agency report about a terrorist carrying a Camembert being arrested at Schipol airport, Holland, on his way to Amsterdam. Although the cheese was found to be non explosive the man was required to surrender two jars of incendiary chilli paste.
So far we know of no incidents involving British nationals and the smuggling of Wensleydale or Maure Stilton. Perhaps this is because hard cheeses though potentially more destructive can only be detonated by having a beam of electrons fired at them or perhaps it is simply that Wallace and Grommet fans just do not look like terrorists. We suspect though if anybody tried to get a morsel of Stinking Bishop on board an international flight all hell would break loose.
“Blessed are the Cheesemakers” my arse. Thery’re a bunch of murderous fanatics.
Boggart Blog's report on Exploding Gravy
How to make Exploding Gravy