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Chip Bergeron

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More Ponderisms
by Chip Bergeron   
Rated "PG" by the Author.
Last edited: Saturday, February 25, 2012
Posted: Saturday, February 25, 2012

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Recent articles by
Chip Bergeron

Ponderisms
           >> View all

From a friend in Blighty across the Great Waters, and oh so true....

Ponder on these imponderables for a minute:-

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
Does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person
Who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.

Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
That electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
Models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's license's of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
Spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
Are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
Pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while
They deliver the mail?

17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those
Little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

20. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one
Enjoys it?


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Reviewed by Emile Tubiana
in reference to Syria: Cher Chip Bergeron, my dear friend. The problem is that our occidental culture is completely different from their culture. To your question, the Arabs do not normaly revolt, because for centuries the obeyed their leader whether he is a king or a dictator. The problem here is that foreign powers are the ones who initiated this revolt like in Tunisia, Lybia or Egypt. We as Americans have helped them and gave them knowledge of how to prepare a revolution. You may want to read Obama's speech he gave in Cairo and you will understand (between the lines).
Reviewed by Tom Hyland
ROCKIE ...

LIKE DIARRHEA ... I LIKE IT !!!
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