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G. Rynk

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Member Since: Dec, 2005

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· Ten Days

· The Reality of Fantasy

Short Stories
· Rage

· Evil Is In The Doing

· Chrissy's Independence Day

· Confession III

· My Reaction to Earthlings

· Doppler Radars Aren't Real

· The Man's Too Big; The Man's Too Strong

· Well Actually

· Do or Die

· Calm After The Storm

· Early Afternoon Struggle

· Why I hate this toxic toxic world

· Walking Through a Small Town II

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Pool Problems
5/30/2007 6:28:09 PM

For the most part, I think of myself as a pretty handy guy. I do alot of work around my house. I've installed ceiling fans, garage door openers, and track lights. I've painted walls and ceilings, replaced faucets and fixed broken electrical outlets.
So, when I decided to put up an inflatable swimming pool; I really didn't think it would be a problem. Now, this swimming pool was fairly large. The pool was eighteen feet across. All a person is supposed to do is inflate the outer ring, fill with water and the ring floats to the top and voila you have a pool. Here in lies the problem though. My yard is not perfectly flat. Apparently, it has to be perfectly flat to work right.
So, just get a shovel and level it. Well, everyday for about 30 minutes for about two weeks I worked outside trying to level a 20' x 20' section of my yard. Now, I'm not a professional landscaper and I certainly do not have any surveying tools so I just did my best to level the ground. I would find out later however that my best was not good enough.
Then the day came to set up the pool. In the early morning hours my wife and I did our best to lay the liner out and fill the outer ring with air. Everything was looking good. Then I started to add water from my garden hose. With over 5000 gallons of water that had to be put in the pool, it took a good part of the day to fill the damn thing.
With the pool about three quarters of the way filled, I realized things were not going well. See, the pool was all crooked and twisted and the outer ring was not in the shape of a perfect circle. Instead it was looking like some mishapen badly beaten circle with horrible deformities. And on top of that it appeared as though there were two holes leaking water out of the bottom. Out of frustration, my wife and I decided to take this big plastic inflatable monstrosity back to the store. My wife, the queen of returns, called the store and asked if we could return the pool even though it was already fully inflated and partially filled. The store manager said, "Sure, just bring it back in its original packaging and we'll take it back."
Now we were on a mission. We had to dump the several thousand gallons of water out of the pool, fold it up and get it back to the store. Sounds simple, right? Wrong!
See, I did what the instruction manual said to do. I connected a garden hose to the drain and watched as the water slowly trickled out. "It's gonna take just as long to drain as it did to fill," my wife said.
So my wonderful, loving wife straddled the outer ring of the pool and pushed down on it until the water came gushing out of the pool like a waterfall. I pushed the other side down with my hands. Certainly, I was not going to get soaked trying to drain this pool. After the pool was drained, I packaged up the filter, hoses and everything else that came with the pool. Wouldn't you know it, I fit everything back into the box perfectly except the actually pool itself. There was no way my wife and I could get the pool folded up small enough to fit it back in the box. The people who can do that must be masters of oragami.
Despite our inability to repack the merchandise, we decided to load up my Jeep and take everything back to the store. I placed the box on a rack on the back of the Jeep and we just stuffed the pool into the back seat. This really wasn't too bad for my wife and I but I did feel bad for my nine month old little boy. He was sitting in his car seat in the back of the Jeep trying to push the pool out of his personal space as though he were fighting off the blob. After a precarious drive with the top down, we made it to the store, returned the pool, and got our money back.
From that moment on, my pool dreams were crushed. However, tonight my wife and I went to a store and decided to buy a real pool. Hopefully, by the first of July, I can write to you about my wonderful new swimming pool.

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More Blogs by G. Rynk
•  Pool Problems - Wednesday, May 30, 2007  

• Schools: A harbor for violence and threats? - Tuesday, May 01, 2007
• Seven More Mondays - Monday, April 30, 2007
• Spring - Sunday, April 22, 2007
• Thoughts and Prayers - Saturday, April 21, 2007
• Just Another Day - Saturday, April 14, 2007

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