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Blogs by Kage Alan
Anyone Think I'll Get Pregnant During The Honeymoon?
2/16/2012 3:14:05 AM
What brought 2 sane individuals 17 years into the future, still together, and getting married in a week? Let me take you through it. You'll enjoy it. Trust me.
Ancient Chinese prophesy foretells of a grand matriarch, a woman so devoted to her grandchildren that any potential suitor who doesn’t meet her expectations and challenges her authority, soon disappears under mysterious and unpleasant circumstances. Her reign of terror is said to last nearly thirty years. Prophesy also foretells of a stranger from the West, a clueless-yet-well-meaning gweilo, whose affections for her grandson will tear at the very fabric of her universe. And the ensuing battle—between the white guy and his boyfriend’s evil Grandmonster—is said to be one that will one day turn prophesy into legend.
I’ve always envisioned Sam Elliott narrating that bit for one of my books. Actually, the third Andy Stevenson novel. I wrote it with a bit of my guy and I in mind. Kinda obvious, huh? Incidentally, does anybody have a connection to Sam Elliott? I’m thinking he’d probably charge me more than I could pay to narrate that for a YouTube commercial when the time comes.
The timing for sharing that first bit with you feels right at the moment. I’ve been doing a great deal of thinking lately about where I started in life, where I’m heading and where I’ll be next week. The truth is I’m turning into a bit of a softy. I even believe in fate. Shall I tell you why?
If my guy hadn’t dated a girl during high school at the same time as I was dating her sister in college on the opposite side of the state, we might never have made a connection. If he hadn’t gone to the girl’s 16th birthday party, if I hadn’t been invited or if I’d been working that night, he and I might never have met for the first time. If he hadn’t been available and accepted the offer to go sailing with the family and if I hadn’t been available and accepted the offer to go sailing, we might never have met the second time. If I hadn’t brought a cassette of Roxette’s first album–something that wasn’t released domestically for many years to come–we might never have struck up a conversation that led to the exchange of phone numbers and bonding over the music group.
If I hadn’t essentially broken down 3 1/2 years later and finally said what I thought to be the dreaded word I was, I might not have called him and had him come over so I could finally admit it to someone. Had he not been that word, too, willing to admit it or even remotely interested in me, we never would have discussed that we were attracted to each other, what we wanted in a relationship or given what we had between us a chance.
There were so many variables… I’ve asked myself a number of times how in the world it could have actually happened. It still doesn’t seem possible. So, divine intervention? Well, we know how well that theory would go over in the majority of the religious community. But how about fate? Seventeen years. It really doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. I’ve joked with him about not being able to wait until we’ve been together longer than we’ve been apart and it looks like we’ll get there.
I had a conversation with him on the phone about an hour ago and I’m starting to hear the excitement in his voice. It’s a good thing to hear…sort of like the obscenities when I reminded him that he still hadn’t written his vows. Some things never change, but in a good, fun way. I was 24 when we first started going out, not quite a twink and not exactly old. Now I’m 41. I’m old…and crabby. Yet when I look at his face, hear his voice or look back at our lives together, it’s almost unreal.
So, those are my thoughts today. I look forward to sharing some pics and video footage with you next week or the week after depending on how busy we are after the event…or relaxing after the event for a couple of days. My sincerest thanks to my parents, friends and folks who have been incredibly kind, supportive and just lovely about this event in our lives. A Facebook friend, Tom Webb, published a wonderful blog post the other day where he mentioned Pookie and I. If you get a chance, please read it.
See you soon.
Sending warm hugs,
Kage
________________________
Kage Alan is the Videodrome watching, Talk Talk listening author of “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation,” “Andy Stevenson Vs. the Lord of the Loins” and the first book in a separate series, “Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell.” He can’t help but wonder if someone will actually try to reboot Videodrome or if it’s just a rumor. Sorry, they’re never going to top the original and they’ll probably screw it up trying to make it cheaply or with bad actors. Tell me I’m wrong.
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• Classic Blog: Why Don't Celebrities Ask For My Autograph? - Saturday, June 04, 2011
• Oh, Hell…The Writer Has Advice? - Thursday, June 02, 2011
• Tennessee Governor Bill Haslam Needs To Meet My Mother - Monday, May 30, 2011
• Classic Blog Post: Premature Articulation (or How My Weekend Went) - Saturday, May 28, 2011
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