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Blogs by Stephanie S. Sawyer
Death and a Closed Door
11/22/2008 11:56:21 AM
Staring at death again in a loved one, and looking for a safe spiritual home for replenishment... Is there one?
Having just reread my own poem "Come, Death, Come", I can only hope that the cherished aunt whose death is predicted as only 5-7 weeks away will be a different experience than that which I penned from the poem I just read. That experience was from a different aunt, my great-aunt and Godmother. This time, I will be going to hospice once again, and for once, I'm glad this aunt, a different one, and so very precious to me, rather young, does not interact on the net. I would not want her to read the experience I wrote about for my dear Godmother. She would then expect the same, and her anxiety would only increase in spite of its already heightened level.
This is a time when I, myself, could stand a helping hand, and it's the same week when I was chewed out by a priest (See 'The Church's Greatest Trouble') for not agreeing to his method. Rather, he began to attack me! Well, I stood up to him. At least, I've got the strength to do that, something I did not always have. My hide is getting a little tougher, thank God!
Nothing makes me angrier than to see some superior head of an institution in the name of Christ start cutting down members or prospective members for the sake of not bowing down to their rule instantly. I can simply no longer just throw in my mind for judging for myself, and allow the priest or pastor to make all final decisions with no mind of my own. Too many times I have been blindsided by priests who have stated full control only to be taking advantage of their congregations behind the curtains. Total violation of trust.
So where does that leave me? Crying out to God Almighty.... and offering a hand to my aunt in her last days by God's grace. I've still got God's grace, and a good portion of it. I wish that priest earlier this week could have at least seen that rather than tearing me to pieces. I have people leaning on me, and should be able to fall back on a spiritual source for nourishment when I, too, am drained. Well, not in THAT church..... I wonder if there is a safe one somewhere.....?
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More Blogs by Stephanie S. Sawyer
• Difficult Christmas Season - Thursday, December 18, 2008
• Death and a Closed Door - Saturday, November 22, 2008
• Happy News - Friday, October 10, 2008
• The Wisdom of Homelessness - Thursday, October 09, 2008
• Without Communication - Monday, September 15, 2008
• The Day After Ike - Sunday, September 14, 2008
• IKE affects TOMBALL, TX - Sunday, September 14, 2008
• AFter the Storm - Saturday, September 13, 2008
• Ike is headed toward me. - Friday, September 12, 2008
• Second Round - Saturday, September 06, 2008
• Fully Satisfied - Wednesday, September 03, 2008
• An Obstacle Too Big for Me - Saturday, August 23, 2008
• Completely Won Over - Sunday, August 10, 2008
• Life is Good in Tomball, Texas - Sunday, July 13, 2008
• Giving it away again - Wednesday, July 09, 2008
• Candid level experiences - Monday, May 05, 2008
• A New Found Freedom - Wednesday, April 16, 2008
• Truth and Honorable Course of Action - Saturday, March 29, 2008
• Determination - Monday, March 17, 2008
• I did it! - Sunday, March 09, 2008
• Old Main - Friday, February 15, 2008
• People to Count On - Sunday, February 10, 2008
• God bless Aunt Blanche! - Sunday, February 10, 2008
• Death at the Door Step - Friday, February 08, 2008
• Love is Stronger - Sunday, February 03, 2008
• It's God's Grace in My Message - Friday, February 01, 2008
• Sold Out! - Monday, January 07, 2008
• Public treatment of epilepsy - Thursday, January 03, 2008
• Defeat and disease conquered - Saturday, December 29, 2007
• Sunday School List - Sunday, December 23, 2007
• A gift of hope to everyone who reads it" - Sunday, December 16, 2007
• All I Want for Christmas - Friday, December 14, 2007
• Wisdom from a Homeless Man - Wednesday, December 12, 2007
• The Hard Way.... or Not - Wednesday, December 05, 2007
• Breaking Stereotypes - Saturday, December 01, 2007
• Tribute to my Husband - Tuesday, November 27, 2007
• the Scariest will Bless - Thursday, November 22, 2007
• Deep Marks on my Heart - Thursday, November 15, 2007
• my silence - Tuesday, November 13, 2007
• all wrapped up - Saturday, November 10, 2007
• Watch out where you go - Monday, October 29, 2007
• A True Winner - Thursday, October 18, 2007
• Stand Up! - Tuesday, October 16, 2007
• The Pew: an Imprint - Monday, October 15, 2007
• Goosebumps on the arms - Friday, October 05, 2007
• God's special touches - Tuesday, September 25, 2007
• No anxiety here - Wednesday, September 19, 2007
• Heritage - Sunday, September 16, 2007
• Only one thing to do - Monday, September 10, 2007
• Family Customs - Sunday, September 09, 2007
• A Split Focus - Tuesday, September 04, 2007
• Wonderful victories in my life - and a ring - Monday, August 20, 2007
• new book on the way... - Saturday, August 18, 2007
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