Blogs by Cynth'ya Lewis email@example.com
1/1/2004 2:58:45 PM
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Change is like the air we breathe; Invisible, yet necessary for life.
Throughout 2003, many changes occured that I never thought would rock my faith to the point of questioning God. But I figure if God never got questions from me, He'd think I'd lost interest in Him.
So month to month, January through December, here are some of my questions, and the answers in the form of other questions that God put back in my conscience. (Self reflection bites sometimes, ya know?)
Me: Hey God, why did you take my favorite uncle away from me without me seeing him since 1996?
God: Why did you wait from 1996 until his time ran out to see him? Did you forget he had beat his doctor's prediction and lived two years longer than they thought he would?
Me: Hey God, why did you allow us to go to North Carolina to see my email friend, and she was in so much pain that we couldn't go out and run around all over the place to have some fun?
God: Maybe I'm wrong, but wasn't your friend Carol so glad to see you that she didn't care about herself, and did all she could to make you comfortable after finding out you were allergic to her cat? Or would you have preferred she be laid up in intensive care or on her death bed? You didn't see any crime scene tape around her house when you got there, did you?
Me: Hey God, I still can't find a job in Muncie? I've got two degrees, great references, and people say I'm overqualified. When will I ever get a job?
God: You have the gift of writing, so why would you want to settle for a job when you have the talent for making people think for themselves with the knowledge I've given you to share? Which brings up another question: What's the current market rate for listening and compassion these days?
Me: God, what's this with another relative dying? We just saw Uncle Jim and I wish I had more time to spend with him. He and Aunt Roberta found happiness in each other since this marriage was the second time around for them. Why did you take him away so soon after Uncle Luther?
God: Think on this for a minute: Uncle Jim was diabetic; Uncle Jim was always smiling. Which one would you like to dwell on?
Me: I really hoped to have my second book done by now, but why can't I get inspired?
God: I gave you a brain and tons of creativity. What more do you want, a roadmap to instant adoration and success?
Me: Gee God, my Aunt Alberta just died, my college friend of over 30 years mysteriously was found dead in his bed one morning, and my cousin Kelvin was beaten nearly to death in his home when his home was robbed, and is in a coma. What's next?
God: That's for me to know and you to accept. By the way, would you like MY job?
Me: Hey again Lord, Kelvin came out of his coma, seemed to be doing okay, but died on the 20th. Less than 24 hours later, you take my Cousin Chuck who died in his sleep from a seizure. I hadn't seen Chuck in almost 20 years. Now I've got back to back funerals to attend and I end up breaking my wrist between funerals, just from trying to swat one of your beloved creatures called a mosquito. I don't know about all of this but I'm starting to feel kinda numb, so why am I going through all of this?
God: I'll ask you one more time, WOULD YOU LIKE MY JOB?
Me: God, it's hotter than hell this year and I don't have motivation to do anything, and now I find out the guy I wanted to be my congero at the next poetry reading was found dead. He was only a few years older than me. What am I, a piece of coal?
God: Would you rather stay a piece of coal or become a diamond?
Me: Well Jehovah God, I'm trying to sell more books, grow my internet business, and do health workshops, but nobody seems interested anymore in poetry or in better health. What am I doing wrong?
God: Ever think that because I can choose to make you think above and beyond that of the average person who only thinks about today, and not tomorrow?
Me: God, my friends just lost their first baby. They would have made wonderful parents. Why did you put them through this when they are so God fearing, so giving and so loving to others and to each other?
God: Ever think that I've got more diamonds to work on than just you?
Me: Gee whiz Great-I-Am, I know my grandmother's getting old, but why does she have this memory problem that's getting worse and worse?
God: If you stick around and live to be 90 like she is, would you rather her to forget everyone's names, or forget who you are?
Me: To take the cake Lord, after less than 2 years, my son's getting a divorce because of his lying wife and her racist family. Why didn't I see this coming?
God: Would you rather he found out she was unfaithful in 2 years or 22 years?
CONCLUSION FOR 2003:
Let Go, Let God.
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